Just The Past
by HElizabethG
Summary: AU Prequel to Life in Disguise. MerDer with mentions of Huntina and Maddison. College fic. WARNING: Not my best fic but, still check it out 'cause the sequel is better.
1. I've Just Seen A Face

**A/N: Yay for new story! This is of course a MerDer story but it's AU.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy. I wish I did. I'm just borrowing the characters! **

***

Her green eyes met sharp blue ones. If it was possible, her heart skipped a beat. He was good looking in a way that she thought was impossible. If she was the kind of girl who believed in love at first sight, this would be it. He smiled. He smiled and he was looking directly at her. His smile was the kind of smile that made girls week in the knees. _Dreamy_.

As Derek Shepherd scanned his audience his eyes met two captivating green ones. She was staring directly into his eyes. He smiled at her. She smiled. She smiled at him. She sat in a huge lecture hall but no one else in the room mattered besides him. Not even her best friend, and person, Cristina who continuously poked her. But she wasn't about to tear her gaze away from his.

"Mer!" Cristina said in a loud whisper, clapping her hands in front of Meredith's face.

"What?" She asked breaking the magical gaze.

"What are you staring at? Or more, who are you staring at?" Cristina asked.

"Nothing…no one." She stammered.

"No one my ass." Cristina mumbled as the lecture started.

"Hello. I'm Dr. Derek Shepherd, a resident at Mt. Sinai Hospital. And I will be boring you today." He started. Everyone laughed.

_Derek Shepherd. Dr. Derek Shepherd. _Meredith thought. _Dr. Meredith Shepherd_. She quickly pushed that thought out of her head. She was Meredith Grey, a sophomore in college. She didn't think about boys like that. Especially full-fledged residents! She saw guys and she screwed them. That was it. Ever_. Anyways_, she thought he _probably has a girlfriend or a wife._

"Mer, how did you convince me to come to this neurology seminar with you? I hate the brain and nerves. Boring! Now, cardio, that's where the gods are" Cristina hissed pulling her out of her trance. "And you're not even listening!"

"I am listening." Meredith lied.

"Sure. I think you're just fantasizing about the man candy talking." Cristina laughed quietly.

Meredith slapped Cristina's arm. "Shut up. Why the hell do I put up with you?" Cristina shrugged. The speech lasted about an hour. After Cristina shut up, Meredith spent the entire time staring at him, day dreaming about ripping the suit off his obviously chiseled chest and jumping him. After the speech and the crowd left Meredith walked up to the doctor and introduced herself. Cristina stayed back. "Hi um… Dr. Shepherd, my name is Meredith Grey…" She extended her hand to him.

Derek smiled and took her hand. "Grey, as in Ellis Grey?" He asked. He held her hand a little than you would a normal handshake. There was something about her that attracted him to her. He stared into her eyes, captivated by their beauty. He released her hand.

"Um, yes." She said interrupting his thoughts. I just wanted to tell you your speech was phenomenal and very helpful because I am very interested in surgery." This was true but she really just wanted to meet him in person.

"Thank you, call me Derek." He smiled a genuine smile. "If you need any assistance gimme a call." Derek handed her a card. He just wanted a reason to see her again.

"I will Derek." Meredith knew she would.

"Derek!" A brown haired woman called out. She ran towards him and kissed him square on the lips. Derek cringed a little when she did so.

"Hi Rose, this is Meredith, she's a pre-med student. Meredith, this is my… girlfriend, Rose." He said unenthusiastically. Why did Rose have to walk up then?

_Of course he had a girlfriend. He was a hot, sexy, surgeon. Girls probably threw themselves all over him. _Meredith thought. "Nice to meet you Rose." She fake smiled.

Rose just frowned and turned towards Derek. "Derek, we should go. You made reservations at six and it's five forty-five."

"Okay. Meredith, remember, call if you need help." Derek reminded her, hoping she'd call.

"I will. Bye Derek."

"Bye Meredith." Derek turned and walked away with Rose.

Meredith walked back to Cristina who had been standing watching the whole scene. "What was that?" Cristina asked as Meredith walked right past her. She followed waiting for a response.

"What was what?" Meredith asked a smile still plastered on her face.

"THAT! Like flirting with that really old resident."

Meredith was still in a daze. "Derek isn't old. And he's really hot and smart and-"

"Wait, Derek? He's Derek to you? You're Meredith Grey! You don't date. And anyways, wasn't that his girlfriend."

Meredith turned and stopped. She put her hands on Christina's shoulders. "Cristina, we're just going to have coffee and talk about medical stuff."

"Oh… sure." She said sarcastically.

***

Derek Shepherd was a faithful man. Derek Shepherd only thought about the woman he was dating. Who was this man taking over his mind? All this invader could think of was Meredith. Meredith Grey. And her naked, touching him.

"Derek? Earth to Derek! You in there?" Rose fake-knocked on his head and giggled a little.

He took her hand and put it on the table. "What?"

"You were zoning out."

"Sorry." He wasn't really sorry. He looked at rose and all he could see were Meredith's angelic features. Derek was still unsure of how he was so taken by this girl he had just met and who was so much younger than him.

"Okay, how was your speech?" Rose asked.

"You weren't there?" Derek asked shocked. Weren't girlfriends supposed to be supportive? He hadn't noticed here there but, truth be told he wasn't looking.

"God no." He was shocked. "I get enough of that medical mumbo jumbo from you on a daily. Why should I listen to a speech about it? I just came in at the end."

"Rose, you're my girlfriend. I came to that play you were in even though I'd heard you practice a billion times." Derek pointed out.

"Derek, what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. Forget it. I'm just tired I guess." Derek tried to smile but it was difficult. He didn't really want to be on that date.

***

"Mer really, you have to stop moping around. He's taken." Christina took a swig of her beer. They were sitting in the Amsterdam Café between 119th and 120th street on Amsterdam Avenue.

"I'm not moping. I'm drinking tequila. I like tequila." She did a shot.

Just then a large man with very red hair came up behind Christina. He secured his arms around her waist. "Hey Chris." The man said.

Christina turned around. "Owen!" She kissed him on the lips. She was obviously a little tipsy.

"Hi Owen." Meredith said meekly.

"Hey Mer." He leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. In the time he and Christina had been dating they'd gotten friendly.

"Christina I'm going to get going. I'm kinda tired. Have a good time with Owen." Meredith got up and walked away. She couldn't help but be jealous of Christina's relationship. She'd been going out with an amazing guy for almost six months now. Meredith had had numerous one-night stands but no one special.

She made her way back to the apartment that she shared with Christina. Meredith pulled her keys out of her pocket, opened the door and went to her room. She threw her bag on the floor and flopped on to her bed. Derek's face ran through her head over and over. His number was burning a whole through her pocket. She wanted to call so badly. Meredith knew that he was older and that he had a girlfriend. The girlfriend was what was stopping her. Rose seemed like a nice girl and Derek seemed pretty happy with her. She didn't see them breaking up anytime soon. She buried her head in her pillow and tried to fall asleep. After much effort, she finally succeeded.

***

Derek brought Rose home after their date and kissed her on the cheek before turning away.

"You're not coming in?" She called to him.

"I'm tired. I'll call you later." He left the stoop of Rose's town house and walked to his car. He got in and drove away. Derek pulled his car into his apartment buildings garage on 70th street and Freedom Place. He trudged into the elevator and pressed twenty-four. The ride was short and he made his way down the hall to the two-bedroom apartment he shared with his best friend, Mark Sloan, another surgeon.

They'd been friends since kindergarten. When Derek had brought him home the first day of school and Mrs. Shepherd had realized that Mark's parents were horrible she pretty much adopted him. From high school through medical school he was known as a notorious man whore. In their intern year he met Addison Montgomery and they'd been together ever since.

"Hey man." Mark said from the black leather couch in their living room that rested against the wall.

"Hey." Derek responded distractedly. He walked straight into his room and shut the door. His briefcase was dropped on the floor and he flopped on to his bed. Meredith's face ran through his head like a beautiful whirlpool. He knew Rose wasn't right for him. He also knew that Meredith must have a boyfriend and that she was only a sophomore in college. Derek didn't care.

***

**A/N: First chappie! I hope you enjoyed. **


	2. First Day Of My Life

**Disclaimer: Sigh, I wish…**

***

The following morning Meredith dragged herself out of bed. She went through the motions of walking to the kitchen, making coffee and heating up some cold pizza. As she sat down in the small booth in her kitchen she took out her cell phone. After flipping it around in her hand for a while, she dialed in the number she wanted and held the small phone to her head.

"Hey Derek? It's Meredith… Grey."

Derek's face lit up. _"Hi."_

"I was just um… wondering if you'd want to get some coffee. Maybe help me on a few things?" Meredith bit her lower lip nervously, waiting for his response.

"_Sure lets say, twelve o'clock?" _Derek answered quickly.

Meredith smiled. "Sure. Where do you want to meet?"

"_How about pizza? There's a great pizza place I know, Sal and Carmine's on 102__nd __street. Want to meet there?"_

"I love that place. See you at twelve. Bye Derek."

"_Bye Meredith." _

Meredith hung up and smiled. She looked down at her watch. Ten o'clock. Two hours until their lunch date. Then she remembered. It wasn't a date. Derek had a girl friend. Their meet was just going to be a friendly lunch. Her smile faded a little but still stayed on. She got out of the small booth in the corner of her kitchen and walked through the dining room and the small hallway to her room. Across the hall was Cristina's door. There was no sound coming from it so Meredith assumed she was still sleeping. Meredith entered her room and quietly closed the door. She picked out a pair of Jeans, a v-neck and a light, lavender sweater. Before putting them on she walked through the short hall quietly to the bathroom and got in the shower. Once she was ready it was ten minutes to eleven. She sat in front of the television in the living room and turned it on. She began to watch a medical drama that Cristina must have recorded. She wasn't really paying attention to it. Her mind was on her "date" with Derek.

***

"Bye Meredith." Derek hung up the phone and smiled. He got up from the place he was sitting on the couch. While walking towards his room he passed Addison walking out of Mark's room in his t-shirt and boxers. She smiled at him. Derek smiled back and entered his room. He flopped on his bed and thought about the day ahead of him. It excited him. Then he remembered Rose, his girl friend. He had no clue why he was even dating her. He didn't love her, his family didn't like her and she was a little crazy. Derek knew he couldn't break up her over what could be just a friendly lunch date. He sighed, got up and readied himself for the day ahead of him.

***

At twelve o'clock Meredith stood out side of the small restaurant watching for Derek. She saw him walking down the street waving. She smiled and waved back. He approached her. She noticed he was wearing a much less formal out fit than the previous day. Derek wore a pair of faded jeans and a polo. She still thought he looked extremely hot. "Hey." He said.

"Hi." She giggled. _Why am I giggling?_ She thought. _I don't giggle._

"Ready to go in?"

"Sure." They walked into the restaurant, ordered their pizzas and sat at a table in the back.

"Okay. Before we start any medical stuff I want to know a little about you so I'm not talking to a complete stranger." Derek said. He just wanted to know more about her.

"Okay. But, you go first." Meredith smiled.

"Okay. My mother's maiden name, Malone. I have four sisters. Six nieces, three nephews. I like coffee ice cream." He paused to look at her momentarily. She was looking at him as if studying what he was saying. Like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Rose never did that. "Single malt scotch, occasionally a good cigar. I like to fly fish and I cheat when I do the crossword puzzles on Sunday. I never dance in public. Favorite novel, The Sun Also Rises. Favorite band, The Clash. Favorite color is blue. I don't like light blue, indigo. I live with my best friend Mark Sloan, a plastic surgeon and a notorious man whore. And I drive a motorcycle sometimes."

Meredith smiled again. "Wow. My turn. Okay, I don't have any siblings. My mom is Ellis Grey we don't get a long. My dad left when I was little. I love tequila. My favorite color is lavender. My favorite band is Duran Duran and I live with my best friend Christina Yang."

Derek nodded. "Good. Now we're not strangers. We're totally friends now."

Meredith laughed. "Of course." She played along. Meredith didn't intend on just staying friends with him forever. They talked more about themselves and then to keep the appearance of their meet, they moved in to medical talk.

When they were done, about two hours later, they threw out their plates and put back the trays. They walked out of the restaurant. "You want a ride home?" Derek asked.

"I live four blocks from here."

"Yeah but I have my bike around the corner. Have you ever been on a motorcycle?" Meredith shook her head and smiled. "Oh then come on." Derek took her hand and led her around the corner. He didn't even think about what he was doing when he took her hand but it felt completely natural. She didn't protest. She loved the feeling of his hand around hers. They reached the bike and Derek let go of Meredith's hand and reached under the seat of the bike and pulled out two helmets. He put one on and handed one to Meredith. Derek then sat down on the bike and motioned for Meredith to sit behind him. She giggled and did so. He reached behind him and pulled Meredith's arms around his waist to hold on. They both thought that it felt perfect. Derek attempted to ignore his thoughts, which failed miserably, and started the bike. He laughed as he felt Meredith's arms tighten around him out of fear and anticipation. They rode through the area weaving in and out of traffic. After about a half an hour Derek pulled up to the address Meredith had told him she lived at. 215 West 98th street. He shut the engine off and took his helmet off. Meredith's arms were still around his waist. "Mer, we stopped." He smiled.

"Oh. Sorry. My ears are still buzzing." She let go and they shared a laugh. Meredith hopped off the bike and stood in front of Derek who had swung his legs around to one side of the bike. "I had a really good time today."

Derek smiled. "Me too. We should definitely do it again."

Meredith nodded. "Call me later Derek."

"I will."

Meredith waved and walked through the courtyard into her building. She waved to the doorman and walked up the flight of stairs. She loved that after only one meeting she felt so comfortable with Derek. It was hard to remind herself that he had a girlfriend. When she reached her door she dug for her keys, pulled them out and turned the lock on the door. She walked in the doors of her apartment, dropping her bad by the vestibule. "Cristina?" She called out.

"In here Mer." Cristina called back.

Meredith followed the sound of her voice into the living room. "Hey." She noticed Owen sitting next to her friend. "Hi Owen."

"Hey Mer."

"Where were you all day?" Meredith hesitated to answer. "Owen, go in the kitchen." Cristina commanded. He nodded and left.

Meredith sighed and collapsed on the couch next to Christina. "Out with Derek."

"Dr. Shepherd, Derek?" Meredith nodded. "Why? Doesn't he have a girl friend and he's like old."

"He's twenty eight." She said defensively.

"Whatever Mer. Just, be careful. Heartbreak sucks."

"I know Cristina. Anyways, it was a one time thing." Meredith uncharacteristically leaned over and wrapped her arms around Cristina's shoulders.

"You know this constitutes hugging?" Cristina said making a sour face.

"Shut up. You care about me. That means you get a hug." Cristina frowned and sat still as her friend hugged her.

***

Derek entered his apartment around twenty minutes later. "Hey man." He called to Mark how was sitting on the couch.

"Hey."

Derek sat next to him. "I have a problem." He sighed.

"What's up?" Mark muted the game.

"I think I'm falling for someone."

"And…last time I checked, you liked falling for people."

"I do. But I'm dating Rose."

Mark sighed. "Dump Rose. I don't like her anyways. She's kinda a bitch and I know she hates me."

Derek nodded and sighed. "I only met this other girl yesterday. And she's a sophomore in college."

"Dude! Stallion! Getting in the pants of a sophomore. Sweet." Mark raised his hand for a high-five. Derek didn't respond. Mark put his hand down dejectedly.

"I don't want to get in her pants. I like her. She's smart, funny, beautiful…"

Mark shook his head in disapproval. "You're like in love with her. Love at first sight. How sweet."

"Shut up." Derek playfully punched his friend, not denying what he had said.

***

**A/N: Review!**


	3. Falling

**A/N: New Chapter.**

***

Meredith lay in bed with a pillow over her face. This wasn't happening to her. Meredith Grey didn't fall for boys. Meredith Grey had sex with inappropriate men to forget her mommy and daddy issues. She especially didn't fall for residents with girlfriends. Meredith didn't giggle, or flirt when she wasn't drunk. But apparently there was a change in Meredith Grey. Now Meredith Grey was falling for a guy, falling hard. She giggled with him and she hadn't touched tequila in a month. She believed there was obviously something wrong.

Of course, Meredith would never admit to anyone that she was falling, hard, but she knew it was true. "Mer!" Cristina shouted barging in.

"What?" Meredith snapped, her voiced muffled by the pillow.

"Get your ass out of bed." Standing on the bed, Cristina began to jump up and down.

"Cristina, go away!"

"No." She insisted. "You're getting up and you're going to this party with me tonight."

"I don't want to. I'm tired."

"Fine Mer. Just fine." Cristina jumped off the bed, walked out the door, and slammed it behind her. Meredith sighed. Her best friend had no clue what was wrong with her and she intended on keeping it that way. She knew Cristina wouldn't understand.

***

Derek knew it wasn't right. He and Meredith were nothing but friends. He was dating Rose. It wasn't right. But, the thoughts, the dreams, the feelings, none of them felt wrong. It felt right when he hugged her, even a friendly hug. It felt wrong when he kissed Rose. Derek picked up his phone. He just wanted to see her. "Hello?"

"_Hello?"_

"Meredith?"

"_Hi."_

"I was wondering if you'd want to get some coffee or something today?" He asked.

"_I would love too."_ He couldn't see it but a huge smile was spread across her face.

"I'll pick you up at your place. Two o'clock?"

"_Perfect. See you then."_

"Bye Mer."

"_Bye Derek." _They hung up and Derek started to prepare. It was almost routine. Three or four times a week since they'd met, he'd go to her house, pick her up on his bike and they'd go to lunch or breakfast. She was plenty capable of getting around by herself but he always volunteered partially because he knew she loved the bike and partly because he loved the feeling of her arms around him. Just as he pulled a light sweater over his head his cell phone began to ring.

"Hello?" He answered.

"_Hey Dery!" _Rose's cheery voice answered.

"Hi Rose."

"_Do you want to go to lunch with me?"_ She asked hopefully.

"I'm sorry. I have plans." He explained.

"_Ever since that day that I didn't go to you stupid speech, a month a go, you've been all weird and distant."_

"I'm not weird and distant…just busy."

"_Okay. Fine."_ She snapped. _"When you have time for your girlfriend, gimme a call." _The next thing he heard was a dial tone. He knew he should feel something, but he really didn't.

***

"Hey." Derek said as Meredith raced towards his motorcycle.

"Hey back." She said, giving him a 'friendly' hug.

"Ready?" Meredith nodded, slipped the helmet on her head, and hopped on the back of the bike. She hugged his torso and they were off. They arrived at Zanny's, a small coffee shop uptown. Derek helped her off the bike and they walked inside. "You have to try a Margo and their hot chocolate. It's the best."

"I'll try the hot chocolate but what's a Margo?"

"A Margo, is something you'd like a lot but it's too sweet for me." He answered.

"So, it's junk." She smiled. He nodded. They ordered and sat at a table by the window. When their order was ready Derek took the few steps to retrieve it. Like usual, Derek got a salad but he actually went crazy and got a hot chocolate.

"Try the Margo." He urged. "You'll love it."

"It looks like a gooey cookie with chocolate." She said crinkling her nose, cutely, and smiling.

"Oh before you eat it you have to spread the chocolate with the fork." Meredith looked at him quizzically. "Just do it."

She smiled, spread the chocolate and took a bite. Meredith moaned with pleasure. "Oh my gosh. That was the best thing that has ever gone in my mouth!"

"See. I was right."

"What is it exactly?" She questioned, with her mouth full.

Derek laughed. "It's a chocolate chip cookie, with whipped cream and chocolate chips. They put it in the microwave and it melts together."

She put another bite in her mouth and moaned again. "This is so good!"

"Try the hot chocolate." He smiled.

Putting the cup to her lips, she took a sip of the light brown liquid and moaned in delight. All the moaning was making Derek annoyingly horny. "Derek this is amazing! How did you find this place?"

"See that building that looks like a jail across the street?" He asked. Meredith nodded. "That was my middle school, The Delta Honors Program. It for the gifted." He shrugged.

"Oh. That does really look like a jail."

"Yeah." Derek nodded. They shared a laugh.

"How's Rose?" Meredith asked, hiding the bitterness.

"She's…well she's pissed."

"Why?"

"Because I haven't been spending enough time with her."

Before Meredith could stop her self she heard the words come out of her mouth. "Do you love her?"

"I…don't think so."

Meredith mind said good but she didn't let that be heard out loud. "Why are you with her? I'm asking as a friend."

"Truth?" He asked.

"Truth."

"I don't know."

"Great answer." She giggled.

"Oh be quiet." Derek looked at his watch. "We should go. I have to go study for my hemisphereectomy tomorrow."

"Ooh fancy." Meredith teased, getting up to throw away her trash.

"I know right." They got back on the bike and Derek drove her home.

"Call me after the surgery tomorrow?" She asked, hopping off the bike.

"Sure." He smiled, gave her a hug and rode off.

Making her way upstairs, Meredith silently prayed that Cristina was out. "Doesn't he have a girlfriend?" Cristina asked the second Meredith opened the door.

"Wha…who…"

"I know Meredith." Cristina said. "What are you using him for? Grades, what?"

"I'm not…" Meredith said not making eye contact with her.

"You're falling for him!" Cristina exclaimed.

"I am not!"

"You poor girl, you totally are."

Meredith didn't see the reason to hid it anymore. "Yeah I am." As she said it out loud it sounded so much worse. "Shit, what have I gotten my self into?"


	4. I Love You

**Discla**

***

Two months. Two months since their first meeting. Two months since their first lunch. Since then they hung out whenever Derek wasn't at the hospital and when Meredith wasn't in classes. He went on dates with Rose periodically, but knew it was pretty much over. He loved Meredith. Not like a sister or a friend. He knew he was in love with her. Derek jumped out of bed. He rushed to the closet, picked out his clothes and dawned them. He knew what he had to do. It was painfully obvious. He should have done it a month ago.

***

Meredith lay in bed not moving. Derek was out with Rose today and Christina was with Owen. She enjoyed the solitude. It gave her time to think. Think about Derek and how she was in love with him. She feared that she'd be too late when she worked up the courage to tell him and there'd be a Mrs. Shepherd already. If she could muster the courage, would he say it back? She was certain about one thing, she loved him. She loved him so much it hurt. Meredith sighed and got out of bed. She walked slowly to the bathroom and got in the shower. The warm water felt cool on her cool skin. She stood under the faucet for a long time slowly washing her hair and body as the water splashed on her. Eventually, she got out and toweled off. Once she was dressed in her favorite Columbia t-shirt and a pair of flannel pants she meandered to the couch. She picked up the remote and found a decent channel. She lay down and watched it. Within minutes her eyes grew heavy and she fell into a deep sleep. She was only awaken a few hours later when the doorbell rung.

***

Derek pulled his bike in front of Rose's town house. He walked up the stairs and rang the doorbell. Within seconds Rose opened the door. Her face lit up at the sight of Derek. She threw her arms around his neck. He pushed her off gently and stepped into the house. "What's up Dery?" Rose asked using the terrible nickname she'd given Derek.

He frowned. "Rose, it's not me it's you. I-"

Rose's face turned bright red her usually soft features turned hard and pouty. "You're breaking up with me." She interrupted.

"Rose let me explain. I just-"

"Save it. I know what this is about." She crossed her arms and scowled. "You're in love." She spit the word love. "Or at least you think you are. Derek, she doesn't want you." Derek looked at her in surprise, not knowing how she found out. "I know Derek, I'm not an idiot… You don't want her. You want someone to admire you. She wants a father figure!" Rose yelled. "

Derek shook his head. "Rose, Mark and my sisters were right, you're a bitch. I tried to end this peacefully on good terms but, you made it IMPOSSIBLE!" He yelled. Derek turned on his heel and walked out, making sure to slam the door behind him. He stormed down the stairs and jumped on his bike. He rode the twenty blocks to Meredith's apartment. He had to tell her how he felt.

Ten minutes later he pulled his bike up to the curb on West 98th street. He stashed his helmet and ran through the courtyard, into the lobby. He nodded at the doorman and walked up the flight of stairs to apartment 2D. He rung the doorbell and awaited the response of someone inside. Moments later Meredith opened the door, rubbing her eyes, stunned to see Derek standing there. She let him in and they walked towards the living room. "Derek, didn't you have a date with-"

"I broke up with Rose." He interrupted. His face wasn't sad. He was happy, happy that he'd finally ended things with the bitch.

"Why?" Meredith asked as they sat on the couch. She was concerned about her good friend but happy at the same time.

"I love you." He blurted. There was silence. "Wow…that wasn't how I wanted it to go…"

"I…" Meredith said shocked but ecstatic at the same time.

"Oh wow… I feel stupid…I just came over here expecting you to fall into my arms…" Derek said, his smile fading. "I'm such and idiot…I'll go…"

Meredith reached over to him and put her hands on his face. She pulled his lips to hers and kissed him so hard that it was bruising, to shut him up. "I love you too." She whispered as they parted. She could barely get the words out because of the shock. The kiss was amazing; the breath was knocked out of her.

Derek smiled and cupped her face and kissed her. He kissed her with passion. A kiss filled with love and hope. The type of kiss they'd both been dreaming of for two months, but ten times better. Meredith scooted closer to Derek and tangled her hands in his hair. Without breaking their kiss he changed his arms to her waist and pulled her onto his lap. After a minute or so they broke the kiss and they smiled. Derek slid Meredith off his lap and he knelt on one knee. "Meredith Grey." He said. "Will you be my girl friend?" She laughed and nodded. He sat back on the couch and she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. When she let go her smile faded. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing. I'm fine." She said giving him a fake smile.

"Meredith…"

"Derek. I'm fine."

"You're not. Just tell me."

She sighed. "Derek, you're twenty eight. I'm only twenty. I mean, I'm okay with that but won't you're family dissaprove?"

Derek only smiled and shook his head. He brought one hand up to her face and slowly caressed her cheek with his thumb. "If I'm happy and in love, they won't care. Anyways, they hated Rose."

Meredith giggled a little. "Wow. I wish I had a family like yours."

"Trust me, being the only boy after my dad died when I was eight, not so fun." He said sadly.

"Yeah but you have a loving mother and siblings."

"True." Derek hadn't really appreciated his family until he met Meredith. He just hoped that one day he could share his family with her. He wanted to change the subject. "Since I'm your boyfriend, shouldn't I take you on a date?" Derek smiled.

"That is customary." She joked.

"Well. I have a shift at six tonight until six, tomorrow night. So, what about…now?"

"I might be busy." She shrugged, jokingly.

Derek pressed their lips together. "Did your secheduel open up?"

"I think so."

"Wait." Derek said. "I…we need rules."

"Rules?"

"Like how this is going to work." He explained. "Like, I think we're an exclusive couple…I don't want other guys touching you."

"Jealous much?" She joked. "You're lucky you're the only one I dream about." She said seductively.

He smiled. "Good." Derek leaned in to kiss her lightly on the lips. "I dream about you too." He whispered cocking an eyebrow. He went back to being sort of serious. "Well, I know if you get upset or mad you don't like to talk. I'm making it a rule that we have to communicate." Meredith nodded. "What about sleepovers and sex? Do you want to wait or… whatever. I don't want to pressure you. It's ultimately your choice."

"I…don't…I…Um… I mean not really…I don't think we need to wait."

Derek smiled. "Okay. What about sleepovers?"

Meredith nodded. "Yeah, when you're not at the hospital we can."

"Okay, back to the date issue. What should we do?"

Meredith thought for a second. "We could just stay here and watch a movie."

"Sure." Meredith got up and fingered through her DVD collection. "What about _Across the Universe_?" Derek nodded. Meredith put the DVD in and sat next to Derek on the couch. He scooted closer to her and put his arm around her. She snuggled into him, wrapping her arms around his mid-section. Meredith felt safer than she ever had in her whole life. Derek smiled and kissed the top of her head.

When the movie finished Derek had to leave. "You want to come by the hospital around noon tomorrow? If I recall, you don't have class then."

"Okay."

"Good. I have to show off my new girlfriend." He smirked. Meredith just smiled. "Also, Mark wants to meet you. He says he needs to meet the girl I've been so called 'mopping' over for the past two months."

"Aww, you've been mopping?"

Derek frowned. "Um…no."

Meredith hugged him. "Me too." She whispered in his ear. He smiled. They let go and he kissed her before saying he had to leave. He smiled and ran down the hall, exiting in the same fashion as he had arrived.

***

**A/N: Yay! They're together. Let me tell you now, this isn't the last time we see Rose…hint! REVIEW!**


	5. Damage Case

**A/N: I know I moved a little fast but seriously, I HATE Rose. I just wanted to get rid of her. Sorry this took so long… I thought it had good potential…not really I guess. Okay this is pretty fluffy… I have some more angst and dramatic stuff coming up eventually…. Enjoy!**

***

"Do you want to go down to Ollie's for lunch? We have four hours until our next class." Cristina asked Meredith as they left their fist class the next day.

Meredith smiled and shook her head. "Sorry. I'm meeting my boyfriend for lunch." She kept waling forward.

"Okay sure whatever. I'll just go…. " Cristina stopped. "Wait what?" She exclaimed, shocked.

A smile spread across Meredith's face and she turned around. "I said, I'm meeting Derek, my boyfriend, for lunch." The word 'boyfriend' made her heart flutter. He was her boyfriend. Derek Shepherd, the hot, amazing, sexy surgeon was her boyfriend.

"He's your boyfriend now?" Cristina asked, knowing exactly whom she was talking about. Meredith nodded and began to walk again. "Where are you meeting him?" Cristina asked catching up.

"The hospital. He's on until six so I said I'd meet him for lunch." Meredith shrugged.

"I'll come and see if Owen can spare an hour to have lunch with his girlfriend." Cristina smiled.

Meredith smiled and nodded. "That's right, Owen works at Mt. Sinai too. I wonder if they're friends and we just don't know it." They laughed a little and began to make their way across town to the hospital.

Once they got there they made their way to the cafeteria. Meredith smiled when she noticed Derek sitting at a table towards the back. He smiled back at her. Cristina on the other hand went in search of Owen. "Hey."

"Hey." Derek smiled and stood up. He pulled her in for a kiss and then pulled out a chair for her. They both sat down. "I got you a burger and I got myself a salad."

"You know me so well." She giggled, smiled and kissed him on the cheek. Neither one noticed the tall man and the red head come up in front of them.

"Dude. Is this her?" The large man asked.

"Yes Mark. This is Meredith." He turned to her. "This is my best friend, and a retired notorious man whore, Mark Sloan."

"Nice to meet you." Meredith held her hand out to Mark. He took it. "Derek has told me a lot about you."

"The pleasure is all mine." Mark smiled. "I'm glad to meet the girl that's had my friend mopping for two months now. And I'm sure anything Derek has told you is bad." He laughed.

"I was not mopping." Derek mumbled.

Meredith giggled. "I think it's cute." She kissed him softly on the lips. "And nope. Derek hasn't told me anything bad about you."

"Apparently neither of these bozos are going to introduce me so I will introduce myself." The red head said. "I'm Addison Forbes-Montgomery. This bozo's girlfriend for some reason." She hit Mark in the chest. "And I am Derek's friend. We all had Dr. Webber as our resident when we were inters."

"Hi I'm Meredith." She smiled at Addison.

"We'll go, let you two get back to your date. It was nice to meet you Meredith." Addison said.

"Nice to meet you too." Meredith smiled and Addison led Mark away. "Your friends are nice." She said as soon as they were out of earshot.

"Glad you like them." Derek smiled and took Meredith's hand as they ate. "Didn't I see you walk in with Cristina?"

"Yeah. She's visiting her boyfriend. He's a surgeon too."

"Oh, who his he?" Derek smiled at her.

"Owen Hunt. I think he's going to specialize in trauma."

"Owen. Really? He said he had a girlfriend but who knew it was Cristina." Derek smiled.

"You know Owen?" Derek nodded. "Are you friends?"

"Yeah. We're actually pretty close. I was going to introduce you to him but I guess you know him already." They laughed a little at the coincidence.

Derek's pager went off. "Shit I have to go." He said. "Sorry."

Meredith smiled reassuringly. "No problem. I was wondering if um… when you uh… get off at six if you want to come over… for ice cream or we could get take out I don't cook… and we could watch a movie or something I don't know and then if you wanted you could sleepover… I don't know if you want to or not…you can say no…I…" Meredith said nervously.

Derek cut her off with a kiss. "I'd love to. See you after six?" Meredith nodded and he kissed her goodbye. She watched as he ran down the hall. Then she went to find Cristina.

***

Five fifty. _Ten minutes_ Meredith thought. She sat back on the couch and smiled. She had trouble believing that after two months of pretending that she didn't love him that he was totally and completely hers. He was a perfect dreamy almost neurosurgeon. Why would he want her? She was a college student with mommy issues. And daddy issues. Not to mention abandonment issues. He had his perfect huge family with four sisters and a loving mother. _What if he left her? What if he decided she was too messed up to handle?_ She thought. Just then, the doorbell interrupted her thoughts. She looked up at the time on the cable box. Six thirty, the green lights read. She hadn't even realized that it had been forty minutes since she'd sat down. The doorbell rang again and Meredith ran to open it.

"Hey." Derek said walking in the apartment.

"Hi." She responded closing the door behind him. She looked at his face. He had purple bags under his eyes. "Tired?" She asked.

"Not really." He lied, hugging her.

"Don't lie to me." She scolded looking up at him.

"Okay, a little tired." Derek conceded.

"Come." She took his hand and led him to the couch. When they entered the living room he noticed she'd laid out all of the take out food on the table already. She pulled him to the couch and they sat next to each other. "Eat." She instructed.

"Bossy." He smirked.

"You love it."

"I do."

After they ate Derek took Meredith into his arms as they watched a movie. They both loved that after not even two days of official dating they could be so close and comfortable with each other. Derek took it as a sign that they were meant to be. Suddenly Meredith tensed and scooted out of Derek's arms. "What?" He asked. He reached for the remote on the table and turned the movie off.

"I…nothing." She looked down.

"Meredith, please tell me. What did I do?"

"Nothing I'm fine."

"You're not."

She sighed. "Fine. I'm scared." She whispered.

"Why are you scared?" He asked taking one of her hands in his.

"Because I have issues. My dad left me when I was six. I haven't been able to trust anyone since. My mom was never home. I never felt loved. I've never been in a relationship. I'm totally lost and I love you but I'm scared that you'll realize that you don't love me or that I'm too damaged and you'll go find someone else. And you can do much better than some college kid."

Derek smiled. "Did you breathe during that?" He smirked.

"I'm serious!" A tear fell down her cheek.

"Meredith. I've loved you since the minute I met you. I'm not leaving you. I promise. If you don't want me anymore, you'll have to leave me because I'm stuck on you. I don't know how to prove that to you but it's true." He leaned over and kissed her on the lips.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"No problem. If you ever get scared again or you think we're moving too fast, tell me and I'll fix the problem." He smiled. She nodded and fell back into his arms, her favorite place in the world.

***

**A/N: Hope you liked it!**


	6. Be Your Husband

**A/N: This is an additional chapter!!! **

***

A bright sunlight shone through the small window. Derek smiled as the light made Meredith glow. He propped himself up on his arm to watch her. As she lay next to him in a tank top and sweat pants he thought about how lucky he was to have some one as sweet, smart, beautiful, and sexy as Meredith in his life. She'd been all his for three months now. She jerked awake and looked at him.

"You're watching me sleep." She accused.

"Maybe." He pushed some blonde hair off her face and kissed her lips lightly.

"What are you? Some kind of weirdo who watches women sleep?"

"Maybe." He kissed her again and they both laughed.

"So do you watch all women sleep or just me?" She asked jokingly.

"Just you. You're cute when you sleep." He said as she snuggled into his chest. Derek placed an arm around her, pulling her into his chest.

"Want to know what's not cute?"

"What?"

"Your morning breath." Meredith stated simply.

"Mean." He kissed her on the head. "This is me brushing my teeth." He let go of her and walked towards the bathroom. She cuddled his pillow and listened for the water to go on. After it went off she heard the shower go on. She slipped out of bed and went into the bathroom. Steam was already seeping through the curtain. Meredith wiggled out of her clothes and climbed into the shower with Derek. "Did I invite you in here?" He joked, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"My shower." She joked back.

***

"Want a ride to class?" Derek asked later that morning. "I'm heading to work anyways so I can give you a lift."

Meredith smiled. "Sure."

"And I bet that all the girls will be jealous when you show up on my Harley with me driving." He teased.

"Arrogant." She mumbled. "Lets go."

"I may be arrogant and cocky but you still love me." He smiled.

"No clue why." She mumbled jokingly. He pulled her into his arms and pressed a firm, almost bruising kiss to her lips. "Oh yeah. That's why." She smiled.

They walked down the stairs, hand-in-hand and out to the motorcycle. They put helmets on and climbed on the bike. Meredith secured her arms around Derek's waist tightly and rested her head on his back. Even though it was a metal death trap, according to Derek's mother and Addison, Meredith couldn't feel safer. Derek pulled up to the building and Meredith jumped off. She was about to walk away when Derek grabbed her hand. He pulled off his helmet, pulled her in to him, wrapped his arms around her in and kissed her. "See you in the morning." He whispered against her lips.

"Bye Der."

"Bye." He rode off.

***

There was a ringing sound, a sound that shouldn't be there on her weekend. It was her phone. She squinted at the caller ID_. Addison_. "Addie, this better be good." She answered. She and Addison had become good friends since she and Derek had started dating.

"_Lunch. Twelve thirty be there. Oh and, get up fat lazy ass, it's like ten am."_ Addison said.

"Go die Addie." Meredith joked sleepily. She hung up the phone and made her way blindly towards the kitchen. She put on a coffee pot and sat in the booth, putting her head on the table. She heard the front door open.

"Mer?" Derek called. He sounded tired.

"Here." She called.

"Hi." He said sliding into the booth next to her.

"Hi." She replied. "My hack of a friend Addison woke me up to demand I go to lunch with her."

"Hmm. So I don't have to feel bad about crashing?" Derek asked, slumping down.

"Go. Sleep." She said. "Lucky."

"Okay." He said and kissed her forehead.

***

"Mer! Let's go. Stop making out with your boy toy and get your ass out here!" Addison called from their foyer.

"I'm coming!" She called back. Meredith walked through the living room and into the foyer with Derek trudging sleepily behind her. She kissed Derek quickly on the lips and then was dragged out the door by Addison. "What was so important that…" Meredith noticed a shine off Addison's finger. "He proposed!" Meredith shouted happily.

"Sh." Addison hushed her. They walked out of the building. Addison led her across the street to Hunan Balcony. They went in asked for a table and sat down.

"Spill." Meredith demanded as they took their seats in the small Chinese restaurant.

"Last night…Mark took me out to the Four Seasons. The whole time he was acting all jittery and weird. Finally when the main course came he quickly got down on one knee and said 'marry me Addison Forbes-Montgomery'." Addie smiled. "Then he opens _the_ velvet box and there it is. My perfect ring, a white gold, two carat diamond ring."

"Wow." Meredith said, admiring Addison's hand.

"Yeah. Then we went home and had some great sex." They both laughed. Since Meredith and Derek had been dating for the past three months, Addison had pretty much moved into Mark and Derek's apartment and Derek had pretty much moved into Cristina and Meredith's apartment.

Meredith stood up and Addison followed suit. "I'm so happy for you Addie." Meredith said, hugging her friend.

"Thanks." Addison giggled.

***

Derek had finally fallen back asleep after Meredith left when his phone rang. He slapped the nightstand trying to find it. When his hand hit it he picked it up and pressed 'talk'. "Hello?" He asked groggily.

"_Derek I'm downstairs and I'm coming up. You better be up."_ The voice on the other end said.

"What? Mark I'm…" The phone went dead. "Shit." Derek cursed. He padded into the kitchen and took the coffee Meredith had left for him. He poured it into a mug. The doorbell rung. Derek walked slowly to open it. Mark barged in. "Thanks for waking me up you son of a bitch." Derek mumbled.

"Oh get over it." Mark said walking farther into the apartment. He sat at the dining room table.

"What's so important that you had to wake me up after an eighteen hour shift?"

"I proposed to Addison." He blurted.

Derek smiled. "That's great man. I'm happy for you."

"Yeah…but I don't know how to do it. How to be a husband." Mark said dejectedly.

"It's just like being a boyfriend for a longer period of time I guess. I don't know, never been there."

"Hm. "

There was a creek. Mark and Derek turned to see a fully dressed Owen walk out of the door that separated the hall from the dining room. "Hey guys." He said.

"Hey Owen." They said simultaneously.

"Mark's engaged." Derek said.

"Congratulations." Owen and Mark shook hands.

"I'm off to the hospital." Owen said.

"Oh shit." Mark checked his watch. "I'm off too. Bye Derek."

"See you guys." They walked out the door and Derek shut it behind them. He slowly walked back towards the bed and fell asleep.

***

Derek woke up to a feeling of lips on his. He opened his eyes to see Meredith sitting on the bed beside him. She wore sweatpants and his Columbia t-shirt. "Hey." He said rubbing his eyes.

"Hey." She leaned into kiss him again. Meredith rolled over him and snuggled into his side.

"What time is it?" He asked into her hair.

"Three." He didn't respond. He just pulled her father into his chest. "Addison and Mark are engaged." She sighed.

"Yeah." He knew they weren't ready but he couldn't wait until they were.

***

**A/N: Just a filler.**


	7. Lover's Rock

**A/N: I actually really liked this chapter so I didn't change anything!**

*******

Derek leaned against the counter of the nurses' station, scanning the chart in his hands while failing to register a single word. He looked down the hall to his right. Nurses and orderlies were bustling quickly by in both directions. One was pushing a woman in a wheelchair that was holding a man's hand as if it were her lifeline but no Meredith. Derek made himself turn back to the chart, and he took a long swig of the coffee he had set on the counter. He was extremely excited. He drummed his pen against the counter impatiently and leaned forward to get a better view of the other corridor that emptied into the open space surrounding the nurses' station. He saw many people in scrubs and lab coats but no Meredith.

He shook his head, annoyed with himself. He shouldn't act so desperate. All he could think about was the surprise that Meredith had planed for their six-month anniversary. She said she'd meet him at the nurses' station at four o'clock and then they'd go to the locker room so he could change. He heaved a sigh, scrawling his signature across the chart before passing it back to a nurse. A glance at his watch told him that it was 4:01. He knew he was probably getting over excited but he loved surprises, especially from Meredith. Derek was readying himself to go to the locker room, change and then meet her back at the nurses' station when her voice rung out to him, calling his name. He turned to see her walking quickly towards him. She closed the last few steps between them, wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his lips to hers.

"Hi." She said softly after breaking their kiss, but keeping her arms around his neck.

"Hi." Derek smiled, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her closer.

"Ready?" Derek nodded and they made their way towards the locker room, hand in hand. Derek went inside while Meredith waited by the door. She saw a tall man with short blonde hair making his way towards her smiling.

The man opened his arms to her. "Hey." He said.

"Hey Mark." Meredith said wrapping her arms around his waist. In return he wrapped his large arms around her small shoulders.

"Waiting for Derek?" He asked smiling.

"Yep. He's just changing. Then I have my surprise for him." Meredith smiled.

"That's right! It's today. He's going to love it Mer." She nodded happily.

"Is this what you do for a six month anniversary? I thought… but…"

"Yeah. Trust me Mer, he's going to love it so much he'll kiss the ground you walk on." They shared a laugh.

Derek walked out of the resident's lounge. "Hey Mark. What are you two laughing about?"

"Nothing." The two said simultaneously.

"Sure. Whatever, Mer will tell me later." Derek smiled.

"Okay guys, I gotta get ready, I'm meeting Addie in like ten minutes." Mark grinned.

"Bye Mark. Tell Addie I say hi and to call me later." Meredith said. Mark smiled, nodded and walked into the resident's locker room.

Derek turned to Meredith. "Do I get my surprise now?" He smiled.

"Be patient." Meredith smirked. She took his hand and dragged him away. They stopped in front of Derek's bike.

"Are you going to tell me where we are going now?" Derek whined.

"Yes. Okay, I didn't really know how to the do anniversary thing…I don't know…I just got you something…I don't really know if we exchange presents…but I wanted to get you something…. It's okay if you didn't get me anything… but…"

Derek smiled at her ramble. "Mer, just tell me. And I did get you something."

"Okay." She smiled. Meredith reached her hand into her purse and pulled out two strips of paper. She handed them to Derek and waited for his response.

His mouth gaped open in shock. "Mer… how…."

"My mother did surgery on owner of Madison Square Gardens' daughter."

Derek's shock turned into joy. He smiled, picked Meredith up, and spun her around. She giggled with delight. When he set her down he kissed her firmly on the lips. "I love you Meredith Grey. You got me tickets to the Clash reunion tour! I tried to get these for months!"

Meredith smiled. "I take it you liked it?"

"No. I love it! And I love you more!" He kissed her again.

"We better go." Meredith smiled. "We don't want to miss it." She turned towards the bike.

Derek grabbed her hand and tugged her back. "Wait, it won't seem like much after that present but, Meredith…" Derek knelt down on one knee. Meredith eyes widened with shock. "Will you…go steady with me?" He reached into his pocket, pulling out a simple silver heart on a silver chain. Meredith noticed the heart said _MG+DS 4evr_.

Tears formed in Meredith's eyes. A smile formed on her lips, she let out a small giggle. She nodded yes. Derek hopped up off the ground and grabbed Meredith by the waist, pulling her in for a kiss.

"I love you." He whispered against her lips.

She smiled. "I love you too."

Derek took hold of Meredith's shoulders and turned her around. He moved her hair to the side and fastened the silver chain to her neck. "Let's go." He said. He handed her 'her' helmet, the one she'd claimed, and put his on. They hopped on his motorcycle and rode down to Madison Square Garden. When they went downhill a little at 96th street Meredith tightened her grip on Derek's back and he smiled. Both were blissfully happy.

***

"That was, wow."

"Yeah. Wow." Meredith panted, lying back on the pillow later that night. Derek loved the concert and thanked her by round after round of sex.

"Best anniversary sex ever." He turned on his side, rested a hand on Meredith's cheek and pressed a firm kiss to her lips.

"Definitely." Meredith whispered against his lips.

"Sleep?" Derek suggested.

"Sleep." Meredith turned on her side, away from Derek and he wrapped his arm around her waist from the back. Heat radiated off their sweaty bodies as they fell into an exhausted sleep in Derek's large bed.

***

**A/N: Liked it? Loved it? Hated it? Tolerated it? Review. **


	8. Part of Your World

**Disclaimer: I own nothing…. except the story line…that's mine!**

**A/N: Thank you for the amazing reviews! This is just filler. **

***

Meredith lay next to Derek on his bed. They faced each other and silently stared into each other's eyes. Meredith reached down and grabbed Derek's hand, intertwining their fingers. He brought their hands up and kissed her fingertips. "Tell me more about your family." Meredith commanded softly.

"Okay." Derek smiled. Meredith never asked about his family. _Maybe she'd finally be ready to meet them. _He thought. "There are my sisters, Nancy, Catherine, Kathleen, and Anna.

"Nancy is the oldest. She is six years older than I am. She's married to Marcus Blake and they have twin girls, Olivia and Lucy-they're ten- and a four-year-old boy Justin." Derek noticed that as he spoke Meredith lay next to him, staring into his eyes, just listening to him. He smiled. "Then comes Catherine. She is four years older than me and she's married to Andrew Warwick. They have one girl and two boys. Their daughter Samantha is six and their son Cody is eight and Zach is four. Then there's Kathleen. She's nine months older than me and she's my favorite sister. I know you're not suppose to say that, but it's the truth." Meredith giggled a little. "She's married to Daniel Smith and they have three girls. Hallie is eleven months old, Alexandra is two and Rebecca is four. My sister Anna is a sophomore in college at Princeton. She is decidedly pre-med and she wants to be a surgeon like her big brother. I think you'll like her." He smiled. "And…"

"There's more?" Meredith asked wide-eyed.

"No." Derek laughed. "Just my mom. Her name is Carolyn." He paused. His smile faded. The light in his eyes darkened. "And my dad was shot when I was eight. These guys came into his store and shot him because he wouldn't give up his watch."

"I'm sorry Derek." She whispered softly.

He smiled a little but it didn't reach his eyes. "I'm okay. It was a long time ago." He assured her and he leaned in to kiss her softly on the lips.

"Okay… I was thinking… if you want…we're at the point where…we've been dating for six months… if you want I could meet your um…family. Only if you want me to." She rambled.

Derek's face lit up. He untangled his hand from hers and grabbed her waist, pulling her in for a kiss. "I love you." He smiled against her lips.

"So… do you want me to?"

Derek nodded ferociously. "Of course!" He didn't loosen his grip on her sides. He pressed another kiss to her lips.

"Do you have work today?" Meredith asked, her eyes focused on his.

"Nope." He smiled. "What do you have in mind?" Derek asked, raising his eyebrows seductively.

"We should stay in bed all day." She suggested.

"I like that idea." He growled leaning in to kiss her neck. He nibbled and bit at the spots on her neck that he knew sent her wild.

"I. Love. You." She breathed.

"Love." He nibbled her neck softly. "You."

***

"Why?" Meredith asked hours later. She sat on Derek's bed dressed in his sweatpants and an old Columbia t-shirt she had commandeered from him. "You don't have to take me out to a nice dinner to get laid." She followed him around the room with her eyes.

"Why can't I ask my hot girlfriend out on a date without being accused of having ulterior motives?" Derek asked innocently. He pulled up his sweatpants and stood in front of her with his arms crossed.

"Because you always have ulterior motives." Meredith smirked, reaching into the bag next to her and pulling out a chip.

Derek's mouth gaped open in fake shock. "I do not!"

"Yes you do!" Meredith laughed, taking another chip.

He jumped into the space next to her and pressed a long kiss to her lips. "Still, I want to take you out to dinner. You're my girlfriend and we never go out on dates."

"No ulterior motives?"

"No ulterior motives."

"Okay… we'll go out." She conceded and smiled. Derek smiled and wrapped his arms around her, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

***

"I'm glad we did this." Meredith smiled, taking a bite of her pasta later that evening. They sat in their favorite Italian restaurant Pomodoro. It was a cute neighborhood place near Derek's apartment.

"Me too." Derek looked down at his plate. He used his fork to push the food around.

"Derek, what's wrong?" She asked, noticing his behavior.

"My mother invited us to dinner on Friday." He blurted.

She hesitated. "Okay."

He looked up, shocked. "Okay? No…freak out?"

Meredith shook her head no. "I told you. I'm ready. I'm not promising there won't be a freak out on Friday but now, okay."

Derek smiled. Light radiated from his face. "Okay. I'll, tell her yes."

"Good… so I'm off school for the summer…you have two weeks off right?" Derek nodded. "What do you want to do?"

"We could go to the Jersey shore for a week or so. Rent a small villa and hang out at the beach." He suggested.

"That sounds fun." Meredith smiled.

"It does. Two weeks…alone with you." He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"Dirty man."

"You know you love it." He smirked, taking a bite of his food.

"I do?" She teased.

"Who couldn't love me?" He smiled.

"Arrogant." She mumbled. "This is how you get yourself banned from sex." She stated.

"You couldn't do that." He stated. "You can't resist me."

"Really?" She asked. "You think I can't resist you."

"Yep."

"Well we'll see."

They finished dinner with light banter and conversation. Derek paid and the walked out side. When they got to the car she pressed him against it.

"You're right. I can't resist you." She whispered against his lips.

He kissed her back. "I can't resist you either."

***

**A/N: I know this is a short chapter but the next one is when Meredith meets the Shepherds!**


	9. Disaster

**A/N: Decently long chapter to make up for the last one!!! I edited it!**

***

"Derek I can't do this!" Meredith looked up at the old house. Her breath hitched in her throat. The house was huge. White exterior with a bay window on what was presumably the second floor. "What was I thinking?" She muttered.

He took her hand. "You'll be fine."

"Derek! I…I'm only twenty." She frowned. "They'll think I'm some kind of gold digging slut."

Derek smiled, shook his head and leaned towards her. He pressed a kiss to her lips. "First of all, you're not a gold digging slut."

"They don't know that." She argued.

"Mer. I love you. My family will love you." He leaned in and kissed her.

She paused and sighed. "Fine. Let's go."

He smiled. "Okay." He leaned over and kissed her cheek. She looked at him and smiled. Derek squeezed her hand reassuringly. Meredith looked up at the house again and walked forward with Derek walking behind her. He rang the doorbell. Within seconds a small, plump, woman answered the door. Her gray hair was cut short and her brown eyes, piercing.

"Derek!" The woman smiled and wrapped her arms around him.

"Hey ma." Derek said embracing her. They let go. "Ma." He smiled, taking Meredith's hand. "This is Meredith Grey."

"Meredith." Derek's mom smiled. "I'm Carolyn Shepherd." She hugged Meredith. "I can't wait to find out all about you."

Meredith's panicked. "Yeah." They let go of each other.

"Come in. Come in!" She ushered the couple in.

Derek rest his hand on the small of his girlfriend's back and lightly pushed her in the house. They walked towards the living room. The three stood in the archway of the living room looking in. A large group of people stood up. Derek noticed none of his nieces or nephews were there. "Ma, where are the kids?"

"We got rid of them for the night." Carolyn smiled.

"Derek!" A petite woman yelled. Her hair was dark and curly like her brother's and her eyes were brown like Carolyn's. She wore her hair up in a ponytail but Meredith could tell it was pretty long. She ran up to Derek and threw her arms around him. He wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her off the ground.

"Hey Anna." He let go. "This is Meredith." He smiled.

"Hi Meredith!" Anna threw her arms around her brother's girlfriend.

"Hey." She smiled. Meredith couldn't remember ever being hugged more than once. Especially by people she'd never met.

"You're a sophomore right?" Anna asked, relinquishing her grip on Meredith.

"Yeah." She smiled.

"We should totally hang out!" Anna said enthusiastically.

"Totally." Meredith smiled. Anna went back to her seat next to another woman. The woman got up. Her hair was dark too but straight and very long. Her eyes were a captivating blue like Derek's. Like Anna, the woman threw her arms around Derek and greeted him. Once again, Derek introduced Meredith.

"Hi I'm Kathleen." The woman said.

"Hi."

Kathleen hugged Meredith. "I'm Derek's favorite." She whispered. Meredith laughed lightly. Kathleen stepped off to the side of the room and the next sister stepped forward. She had dark blonde hair and the same blue eyes. Like her other sisters, she hugged Derek and was introduced to Meredith.

"Hey. I'm Derek's sister Catherine." Her smile was bright and perfect like Derek's.

"Hi." Meredith said slightly awkwardly.

The last sister walked over to her brother. Her hair was short, straight, and a dark brown. Her eyes were a dark brown. "Hey Derek." She said coolly. She seemed like the most poised and professional of the sisters. She also seemed quite snobby. "I'm Nancy." She said turning to Meredith.

"Hi."

"Is that all you can say? That's all I've heard you say since you got here." She replied snarly.

"Oh…I just…I." Meredith rambled nervously.

"Nancy. Stop." Derek said sternly. He took Meredith's hand.

"What?"

"You know what." He said through his teeth.

"Okay fine. I just noticed, as soon as you start seeing _her_ you don't have time for your family." She said. "And, she's so young. Are you sure she's not a gold digger?"

"Nancy stop!" Derek yelled.

"Derek Christopher!" Carolyn called out. "Don't you speak to your sister like that." Nancy smirked. "And Nancy Alexandra, Meredith is a perfectly nice girl and your brother loves her. You're being petty and rude so hush and apologize." She said sternly.

"I'm sorry Derek." She said looking down at the floor. "And I'm sorry Meredith."

"It's okay." Meredith said, trying to smile. Derek kept his grip on her hand.

"It's not okay Mer." Derek said to her. "Nancy was a total bitch."

"Derek really. Stop." Meredith pleaded.

"Please Der. Let's just have a nice dinner." Anna smiled.

"Fine." Derek growled. The doorbell rung. Carolyn walked to get it. During her absence Derek pulled his girlfriend into his arms and kissed her head. Anna, Catherine and Kathleen smiled and "awed." Nancy crossed her arms and frowned. She could tell that this girl wasn't good enough for her little brother.

"Look who showed up!" Carolyn exclaimed leading Mark and Addison into the room.

"Addie." Meredith smiled, relieved to see her friend.

"Hey Mer." Addison embraced her. They greeted everyone.

"Dinner is ready." Carolyn announced.

The large group made their way into the table. Dinner went on with small talk.

"Have you heard from Annabel lately Derek?" Nancy asked. "I talked to her like a week ago. She's doing well. Still single though." She added suggestively.

"Nancy." Mark warned.

"Oh. Meredith doesn't know?" Nancy asked with fake innocence.

"Nancy. Stop." Addison said.

"Meredith, Derek was engaged for three years." Nancy said before anyone could stop her.

"Oh yeah. I knew." Meredith lied. She didn't want to let her true feelings of hurt and anger out at the moment. Derek, Mark, and Addison could see her face and could tell what she was doing.

"Oh." Nancy said, a little defeated.

"Yeah. Derek tells me everything." She said through her teeth with a fake smile.

"Isn't my ring gorgeous?" Addison blurted awkwardly. Meredith could tell that she was trying to pull the attention from her. She silently thanked her friend. Addison just nodded. "None of you besides Meredith and Derek have seen it!" Dinner continued with people oohing and ahing over Addison's proposal story and her ring. It ended when Derek, Mark, and Addison claimed they had early days. "Thank you for dinner Carolyn. It was amazing." Meredith smiled.

"Anytime Meredith. It was lovely meeting you." Carolyn smiled back at her. "And I am so sorry about my daughter's behavior."

"It's okay. I'm fine. Really." She said.

"Bye ma." Derek said kissing his mother's cheek.

"Bye Mrs. Shepherd." Mark said following suit.

"Mark, I tell you this all the time. Call me mom, or at least Carolyn. I raised you." Carolyn said.

"No can do Mrs. Shepherd." Mark smiled.

She rolled her eyes. "Bye Addison, dear." Carolyn smiled. "Congratulations."

"Bye Carolyn." She smiled.

The four left. Once the door closed, Meredith's fake smile turned into a frown.

"Mer I…let me explain." Derek pleaded.

She turned away from him. "Mark, Addie, can you give me a ride?" She asked, not wanting to be with Derek.

"Sure Mer." Addison said putting her arm around her friend.

"Mer, please." Derek tried again.

"See you later Derek." Meredith said dryly. She walked with Mark and Addison towards their car and Derek watched her go. He jumped on his bike and rode off, deeply upset.

***

"What is all this traffic from?" Meredith asked an hour later as they sat in the car.

"I see ambulances. There was probably an accident." Mark responded.

"We should pull over. We are doctors. We should." Addison said. Mark nodded. Once they reached the accident they pulled over and got out. Meredith followed behind them.

They walked up to the gurney. There was a screech of terror.

***

**A/N: Mwahaha. **


	10. Annabel

**A/N: Hehe that was mean. Here's the rest! Language is a little strong in the beginning. **

***

"Derek!" Meredith screamed. "Derek! No! Derek!" She fell to the floor. "Derek. Derek. No!" She sobbed.

"What happened?" Mark asked a paramedic. Addison tried to get Meredith off the floor but she wasn't strong enough so she sat next to her with her arms securely around her shoulders.

"He swerved off the road and hit a light post." The paramedic said rushing the gurney towards the ambulance. "Who are you anyways?"

"Mark Sloan. His brother and a plastic surgeon." He said. "Take him to Mt. Sinai." Mark ordered.

"But dispatch said…"

"I don't give a shit what fucking dispatch says. Mt. Sinai is the best goddamn hospital on this coast!" Mark shouted. They put him in the gurney. "Hold up." Mark said holding the door of the red truck. "I'm coming with you. So is she." He pointed to Meredith who was in Addison's arms on the ground. The paramedic nodded. Mark walked over to the two women. "Addie will you take the car to the hospital?" I'll get Mer." Addison nodded. Mark reached down and picked Meredith up, cradling her in his arms.

"Mark." She sobbed. "Derek…is…going…to…"

"No." Mark said climbing into the gurney. "No. Don't say it. Derek won't." He put her down and she grabbed Derek's hand.

"You cannot leave me Derek. You can't…you can't!" She cried. "Please."

The rest of the ride to the hospital was silent. Meredith was caught up in though. All she could think about is if he died the last words he would have heard from her would be _"see you later Derek"._ That was it. She didn't even say it sweetly. She didn't say, "I love you". Just, _"see you later Derek". _Meredith watched as the paramedic intubated him. She held Derek's hand with her left and Mark's with her right. New tears sprung from her eyes, falling down her already tearstained cheeks. Mark wrapped an arm around her shoulders as he watched his unconscious friend. Thirty minutes later they arrived at Mt. Sinai hospital. Dr. Webber, along with a few other doctors stood waiting for the ambulance. Mark herded Meredith inside as the gurney was wheeled in. She was barely able to move on her own. She fell into a chair in the hall as Derek was wheeled into a trauma room. She sat, head in her hands for ten minutes awaiting news. Mark sat beside her.

"Meredith, Dr. Sloan." Dr. Webber said walking up to them. Meredith held her breath. "Derek is stable." He said slowly. Meredith took a short breath. "He suffered a serious concussion. We want him to stay here for observation at least 48 hours after he wakes up. He opened his eyes but we sedated him for now. Dr. Wisest is taking him up for a CT now. He also appears to have a broken rib, a broken arm and a broken leg. Dr. Stuart will get him an x-ray."

"So… he's out of the woods?" Meredith whispered. Dr. Webber nodded. "Oh thank god!" Meredith sobbed.

"Thanks Dr. Webber." Mark said shaking his mentor's hand.

"Anything you need to help let me know." He smiled.

"We will." Mark put his arm around Meredith. Dr. Webber walked away.

"Meredith! Mark!" Addison said running up to them.

They turned. As Addison approached, Meredith fell into her friends embrace. "He's okay." She said relieved.

"Good. That's great!" Addison smiled happily. "I called Carolyn. She said she'd come alone. Derek doesn't need all the Shepherd girls here right now."

"Good. Thanks Addie." Meredith fell into a chair.

"Of course Mer." She smiled. "Anything for you or Derek."

"They said they'd call us when he's out of CT." Mark told his girlfriend. She nodded.

***

Meredith perched her self on a chair by Derek's bed. She held his hand and looked him up and down. There was a deep laceration above his eyebrow that Mark was getting the suture kit to fix. She moved her eyes down to his limbs. His right arm and leg were both broken. His arm in two places and his leg in three and both limbs were in a cast. There was a white bandage around his chest, stabilizing his broken rib. Tears streamed down her face. This wasn't supposed to happen. They were happy. It was perfect, until earlier that evening. This shouldn't have happened.

***

The air felt heavy, pressing down on every part of his body. He couldn't tell if he was alone or dreaming. He didn't have inkling. Seconds were fuzzy as they turned into minutes. A heavy force kept his eyelids closed. His breath was the only sound that he could hear. But even that small sound felt far away, distant. Insignificant. It hurt to breathe. His lungs felt compressed and his side hurt. He taut his muscles and everything felt sore. The next breath he took he felt the discomfort. His lips were cracked, as dry as the desert sand. His throat felt chafed. As if sandpaper had been rubbed on it. Derek moaned and tried to think. From a long way off he heard a strange unmelodic beeping sound. What was the sound? Where was he? Why was he there?

It was at that moment when he felt the pain. His head seemed to be under attack. He wanted nothing more than for the pain to subside. He also seemed to feel pain on his right side. Something deep inside of him was building into a scream, but the same force that kept his eyelids shut was also controlling his sound production. He tried harder to listen to his surroundings. The only sound he was sure of was a woman's voice. It wasn't familiar though. He felt like he should know it but the person making the melodic sound was nowhere in his memory. Although the voice was a lot of wordless sound it still soothed him. Slowly, he could make out other sounds such as a male voice that he believed belonged to Mark and footsteps. The sounds started to come after him like a wave trying to drown him.

Derek felt another land laced together with his. The hand was petite and soft. He tried to squeeze it but she was unsure if it worked. Slowly the weight lifted off his eyelids and they opened. He regained consciousness. Derek began choking. A feminine voice asked him to calm down and Mark's hand went to Derek's mouth and pulled the tube out. Someone put a glass of water to his lips. He savored it, drinking slowly as not to upset his throat. He swallowed.

He opened his mouth to speak. "Annabel?"

***

**A/N: Another cliffhanger!**


	11. Don't Forget to Remember Me

**A/N: I kinda left you hanging there… sorry! I'm done with my re-write…back to the actually story.**

***

"Annabel?"

"No buddy. Annabel is gone. Meredith is here." Mark said resting his hand on Derek's arm. He looked nervously at Addison and Meredith. He could tell Meredith was on the verge of tears.

"Who's Meredith?" Derek rasped out. Meredith's heart stopped in her chest. Her voice and breath caught in her throat. The love of her life didn't remember her. She let go of his hand and covered her face. Tears threatened to fall down her cheeks. There was a war inside of her. Some of her said that Derek really didn't remember. The logical part of her brain was telling her that memory loss could arise from concussions.

"Meredith is your girlfriend. You love her." Addison said forcefully, trying to keep Meredith calm. She was failing miserably.

"All I remember is walking up the stairs of my town house to go home to Annabel." Derek insisted. "Where am I?"

"You're at the hospital." Mark said.

"Hospital what…why…" He carried off and his eyelids shut. Meredith broke out in sobs. A weight sat on her chest making breathing difficult. Addison wrapped her arms around her and tried to comfort her. It didn't help. The only person who could help Meredith was Derek.

"Mer, I'm sure when he wakes up again he'll remember you." Addison assured her.

"I…" She sobbed. "I can't do this."

"You can." Mark said.

***

"How is he? What's happening? Is he okay?" Carolyn Shepherd asked, rushing into the room.

"He's fine Mrs. Shepherd. It's just a concussion. He had a little touch of amnesia but _he's_ fine." Mark reassured her.

"Thank god." She smiled and turned her attention to Meredith. "Meredith, how are you?"

Meredith shook her head no. Speaking was too difficult. "Derek didn't remember her." Addison said softly.

"He woke up?" Carolyn asked.

Mark nodded. "He woke up and asked for Annabel." He said causing Meredith to erupt in sobs.

"I'm so sorry Meredith." Carolyn said, genuinely. Meredith nodded as to say thank you but her sobbing didn't stop. "You didn't know about her, did you?" She shook her head no.

Mark leaned into his friend. "Derek, you son of a bitch, you better wake up and be okay." He hissed.

***

Derek's head felt clear. There were no thoughts or sounds. Just blankness. Out of the blankness an image arose. It was Annabel. Her flowing dark brown curls were slick with sweat. She was naked, on top of another man. The pain came back, a clenching in his heart. That image faded and another one appeared. It was a beautiful woman. Her green eyes shone like the sea. Her blonde hair framed her angelic face. Meredith. It came back to him. The hurt and betrayal from Annabel, his rebound girl Rose, and Meredith. Their love came flowing back into him. He remembered the feelings he felt when he looked at her, He remembered the dinner, the fight. The last thing that he could remember was standing in the driveway of his childhood home watching as Mark's car drove away.

Suddenly there were sounds. At first they were unrecognizable. Seconds turned into minutes and Derek could make out the unmelodic beeping of machines, footsteps, and a heartbreaking sound. It was a sound that he never wanted to hear again as long as he lived. It was a sob. Meredith's sob. He had a strange feeling that it was caused by him. "Mer?" He rasped out without opening his eyes.

"Derek?" Her soft voice answered. Her sobbing subsided. Derek opened his eyes. The light hurt but he kept them open. He looked into her eyes. The normal glowing green was gone. It was replaced by red, puffiness and sorrow.

He tried to smile. "Hi."

"Hi. You remember me!" She cried happily. "Derek I love you." Meredith leaned in to kiss him.

"I love you too." He said a bit confused about her behavior. "Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital." Mark said.

"What…why?"

"Your motorcycle swerved off the side of the road." Addison said softly.

"You're never riding that death trap again!" Meredith cried. Derek nodded knowing not to fight with her.

"Mark, Addison, can you help me with something in the hall…" Carolyn asked trailing off. She knew that Meredith needed time alone with Derek. The three walked out and shut the door.

Her sentence before registered with him. "Wait, you're happy that I remembered you? Why? I could never forget you." She didn't answer. Meredith stared at her hand, which had taken Derek's again. "Mer?"

"You did forget me." She blurted, looking away.

"What?" He asked shocked and confused.

She stayed quiet again. "You asked for Annabel."

Derek covered his eyes partly in pain because of the light, partly because he was so embarrassed. He knew that Meredith was a lot more upset then she let on. "Mer, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. And I'm sorry."

"Derek. It's okay. We can talk later..."

"No Mer, it's not. I know you're not okay or _fine_." He pressed.

"Derek. You got in an accident. Right after we fought. No. I'm not okay. You didn't tell me you were engaged before I met you. I'm not fine with that. You called for Annabel. I'm not okay with that. But, I'm okay compared to you. You have a broken leg, arm and rib." She buried her face in her hands and cried. Derek rubbed her back softly.

She looked up at him. He patted the bed with his unbroken hand and smiled. Meredith shook her head no. He patted the spot again. She still shook her head no. "Why?" He asked curiously.

"I don't want to hurt you." She whispered. Tears still slowly making their way down her cheeks. "I don't want to touch you…if I hit something or…"

"You could never hurt me." He smiled. Meredith shot him a 'seriously?' glance. He nodded. "Even if you did physically hurt me, the amount of love I have for you would make up for it.

Meredith laughed. It felt really good. "You are the corniest person I have ever met."

"Maybe, but you love it and you know it's true." She sighed and lay in the small bed next to him. He wrapped his arm around her and she held his stomach trying to stay on the small bed.

She smiled and looked up at him. "You look tired. You should sleep."

He nodded. "You too."

"You're the one in the hospital bed." She pointed out.

"Technically so are you." They both laughed. Meredith cuddled into Derek's chest.

"I love you Derek."

"I love you too Mer." He kissed her head and their breathing evened out as they fell asleep.

***

**A/N: More to come…**


	12. Thank You For Loving Me

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy…I asked for it for Hanukah…my mommy laughed.**

**A/N: If you haven't yet, you should read the redo. It may not seem different but it is. **

**Note- Richard Webber met Ellis already but he moved to NY. He is doing his fellowship next year.**

**Oh, and Derek has a broken left tibia (lower leg) and left radius (forearm). He also has two broken ribs on the left side.**

*******

"Okay Meredith." Dr. Webber said signing Derek's chart. "Dr. Shepherd, Derek, has been cleared by orthopedics, general, and the neurosurgical departments."

"Thank you Dr. Webber." Meredith smiled.

"Derek." He turned to his former student. "I don't want to see you back here for at least three weeks while you're bones heal." Derek opened his mouth to stop him. "I don't care what you have to say. You're not to show your face here for two weeks."

"Thank you Dr. Webber. I'll make sure he gets plenty of rest." She said.

"Okay, take good care of him Meredith." He smiled. "I'll leave the discharge papers here. When ever you want to sign."

"Thank you."

Dr. Webber left the room, leaving Meredith and Derek alone. Derek looked up at his girlfriend who was looking at him lovingly. "I am a doctor you know." He said.

"I know. It show's with your huge ego." She joked, running a hand through his hair.

"You treated me like an invalid."

She sighed. "Derek, if I didn't listen to what Dr. Webber said, you and your macho complex would have jumped out of bed in a day."

"Would not!" He argued grumpily.

"You would." Derek didn't answer. "I'm right." She whispered in his ear, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "Do you want help getting up and dressed?"

"I can do it." Derek snapped.

"Okay." Meredith knew Derek wasn't going to admit defeat easily. She stepped back. He tried to throw his body over the side of the bed with his unbroken arm. The attempt failed miserably and he ended up hitting his arm, then wincing in pain. Meredith kissed him on the lips. "It's okay to need help Derek."

"Fine. Just help me." He conceded. She smiled and grabbed the pants Mark brought him. She wrapped his arms around her neck to pull his pants over the cast. She got the pants over the cast and up to his waist. Meredith successfully buttoned and zipped the pants. Derek smiled to himself. It was obvious that he was upset about the accident and he was taking it out on Meredith. He'd fix that. Derek moved his hands, one with a cast, to his girlfriend's face, cupped it and pressed their lips together. "Thank you." He whispered. "You're amazing."

"I don't mind." She smiled wrapping her arms around his lower waist.

"Sorry I'm being a little snippy." He sighed, leaning into her.

"Derek, right now you could be a total bastard and I wouldn't run." Meredith said truthfully. She looked up at him, tears forming in her eyes. "You could have died." She whispered.

"I wouldn't have." He said.

"How do you know?"

"Because. I couldn't leave you." Derek said kissing her on the lips.

"Sap." She muttered.

"Yes." He agreed. "But I'm your sap."

"True." She smiled. "Arms." Meredith said backing out of his embrace. He put his arms out and she untied the gown and pulled it off. Even with wrapping around his ribs she couldn't help admire his body. She still couldn't believe that he would fall for her and it scared her that he'd leave.

"Mer?" Derek asked noticing her change in expression.

"Yeah?" She tried to smile.

"What's wrong?" He asked knowingly.

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"Mer…"

"Don't leave me Derek." She whispered, falling into his arms.

He sighed. "Never. I will never leave you."

"Thank you." She whispered, tears falling down her cheeks.

He raised his hands to her face and wiped her tears off with the pads of his thumbs. "You want to go home?" He asked. She sniffled and nodded. She grabbed his shirt off the chair and pulled it over his head. After filling out the discharge papers, Meredith helped Derek into a wheelchair and began pushing it out the doors of the hospital. Although his injuries weren't too sever, he couldn't use crutches because of his broken ribs and arm. Meredith successfully got Derek into the passenger seat of Mark's car and got the wheelchair into the back seat. She climbed into the drivers seat and smiled. Meredith started the engine and began their drive home.

***

"Here you go." Meredith said handing Derek a bowl of Muesli later that day. It was dinnertime but cereal was the only thing she could make. He didn't care. She sat in the chair across from him. Neither spoke for what seemed like hours but was only moments. "Why didn't you tell me?" Meredith whispered, her voice cracking.

He sighed, knowing what she was talking about. "Honestly?" She nodded. "I don't know." Derek looked down at the floor.

She scoffed, a little hurt. He didn't even have a good reason. "You don't know?"

"I…I was afraid." He stammered looking up a little.

"Afraid? What is scary about an easy truth?"

"I don't really know why." Derek sighed again. "I caught her in bed with another man." Meredith gasped. "I got home from work, walked up the stairs, and I stepped in a pair of scrub pants. They weren't mine. Or her's, she's the head of pediatrics at the hospital. I open our door and see her on top of another man… I think it was an intern… I walked out the door and never looked back." Derek showed no emotion during, making Meredith see that he was over it. "Mark got my stuff out of her town house and I moved into his spare bedroom."

"I'm sorry Derek." Meredith whispered.

"I'm fine. I'm over it. I found love." He smiled at her. "Mer, I love you more than I ever loved her. And I'm so sorry I didn't tell you."

Meredith held back tears and smiled. "I love you too." She climbed softly onto his right knee. He put his unbroken arm around her and brought their lips together. "No more secrets?" He shook his head no. "Good. If we're telling each other things now, I was the girl in high school with the pink hair and who wore a lot of black." Derek laughed at this and winced in pain. "You okay?" He nodded. "That's what you get for laughing at me." She hit his arm.

"Sorry. It's just I can't picture it. You're just so beautiful and sexy." Meredith blushed.

"Let me guess. You were the jock popular guy in high school?"

"Um…that was Mark." He frowned. He looked down, embarrassed. "I was a band geek. I played the sax."

"What?!" She laughed.

He nodded. "Yep. I hadn't discovered hair product yet so I had a big Afro. And, I had terrible acne." He pressed his lips together and smiled. "Still love me?"

She snuggled into his chest. "Hm…I don't know." He lifted his right arm to tickle her ribcage. She squealed. "I still love you." She laughed.

"I thought so."

"But, if you told me in high school that I'd be with a band geek, I would have laughed in your face."

"Yeah well if you told me I'd fall in love with the pink haired Goth girl I would have laughed in _your_ face." He countered. He leaned into kiss her. "I'm not laughing." He whispered and kissed her neck, causing her to giggle. Suddenly she stiffened in Derek's arms. He noticed the change in her demeanor. "Mer?"

"I need to tell you something." She said seriously.

"Okay."

"I never told you because I know you get jealous…and I didn't want to hurt you." She said turning away from him and slipping off his lap and into a chair.

"Mer…"

"Right…okay. When I was a freshman in college and a senior in high school I had a lot of one night stands." She said quietly. Derek's body tensed. "I didn't want to tell you because it makes me sound like a whore and I didn't want you to leave me."

He sighed. "Mer…" Derek smiled supportively at her and took her hand. "I still love you. I don't like that other guys touched you and you know… but I wasn't a virgin either. I still love you and I would never think you were a whore."

She smiled. "Thank you for loving me."

"You're thanking me for loving you?" He teased gently pulling her onto his right knee.

"Shut up." She scrunched her nose.

He kissed it. "Thank you for loving me too."

***

**A/N: Fears out in the open now! Yay!**


	13. Defending You

**A/N: IMPORTANT-I may have totally messed up recovery times…even though I'm a klutz I've never broken a bone so…**

***

Derek woke up Monday morning and rubbed his eyes. He was already sitting up because with his broken ribs he couldn't lie down and sit up easily. Looking at the clock he realized Meredith would be in class right now. She'd taken the week before off to stay with him but she had to go back. He told her to go back a week ago, but she refused. Derek heard the television on in the other room and got up to see why it was if he was alone.

Slowly, he pushed off the bed. Luckily his ribs were better and it allowed for more movement. He grabbed the cane that he'd been switched to with his right hand. Leaning against the cane he made his way to the bedroom door and opened it. He slowly padded into the living room and sighed at whom he saw. "Nancy. What are you doing here?" He smiled and sighed again.

She looked up at her brother and smiled. "A petite, gold digging whore…"

Derek's fists and jaw clenched. "She's not a gold digging whore." He interrupted through his teeth. Derek still couldn't believe how horrible Nancy was towards the love of his life.

"Sorry." Nancy said snarkily. "Well, she…"

"She has a name."

"Meredith." Nancy conceded. "Called mom and asked if anyone could come stay with you today. I don't know why she couldn't do it."

"She has class Nancy!" Derek shouted and winced, leaning over. He breathed deeply, trying to reduce the pain in his side.

"Sit Derek." Nancy coaxed. "For someone who claims to love you…" She trailed off.

He hobbled over and sat next to his older sister. "I had to force her to go. She already missed a week and being a good person I didn't want her to get behind."

Nancy raised her hands in defeat. "Whatever. Don't you see a problem with this?"

"With what?"

"The fact that she is in _classes _Derek! What are you doing? Going through a mid-life crisis early?"

"You can't help who you fall in love with Nancy." He said through his teeth. "And I love Mer."

"You say that an awful lot."

"Say what?

"_I love her. She loves me._ Blah blah. Are you trying to convince yourself?" Nancy prodded.

"No Nancy." He said flatly. "I'm trying to convince you."

"Whatever." Nancy mumbled.

Derek was getting sick of the back and forth. He needed to make his sister understand that he was in love. She seemed to be the last person to still have doubts. "Not whatever." Derek snapped. "I love her. She loves me. What the fuck is your problem?"

"Why did you just give up on Annie?" She snapped back.

"She cheated on me Nancy! WHY CANT YOU GET OVER IT?" He shouted, curling over in pain again.

"Because she was my friend and it isn't fair that she made a mistake and you just give up. You love her."

"I _loved_ her Nance. Past tense. I love Meredith Grey more than I ever loved Annabel. I'm happier with Meredith too." He tried to convince her. "It was and will always be over." Derek said truthfully with no emotion. _Why couldn't she understand that Annabel hurt him and he'd found stronger love?_

"I don't think it is." Nancy pushed.

"NANCY!" Derek shouted, ignoring the pain shooting through his veins. "GET OVER IT! It's over." He said, his voice softening because of the pain in his side. "Please." Derek pleaded. "_Please_. Just get to know Meredith before you judge her."

Nancy sighed. "Fine."

"Thank you."

"Whatever little brother." She smiled ruffling his hair trying to lighten the mood. Derek frowned.

***

"Derek!" Meredith called walking through the front door. "I'm home!" She looked at the brown haired figure on the couch. "Hello Nancy." Meredith said sweetly.

"Hello Meredith. He's sleeping." Nancy said back. "Could I talk to you for a second?" Meredith's eyes widened with fear but she ignored it and sat down. "I'm sorry for the way I acted." She sighed.

"Oh it's okay…" She tried to say.

"It's not." She interrupted. "I was a totally bitch and I judged you before knowing you."

"Nancy really it's…"

Nancy took her hands. "No Meredith. I can see that you are a very nice girl who loves my brother very much."

"Thank you." Meredith smiled.

"I may be going too fast but hug?" Meredith smiled and leaned in to hug Derek's sister. "Start over?" Nancy asked a little nervously. "Like pretend none of it happened?"

"None of what?" Meredith responded smiling.

"Thank you." She smiled. "I best be going. My kids expect me home." Nancy got up and grabbed her purse.

"Bye Nancy." Meredith said walking with her towards the door.

"Bye Meredith." They hugged. "If you want…on Friday the Shepherd sisters go out to lunch. You want to come?" Meredith nodded. "See you Friday."

"See you then" Meredith closed the door behind Nancy. She couldn't believe that she was invited to lunch with the Shepherd sisters. Meredith smiled, grabbed her books to study and put them out on the table. After being gone a week she had a lot to catch up on. _Mind as well, Derek's sleeping._ She thought.

***

Derek limped on his cane into the living room. It was painful but it was okay. Meredith smiled brightly. "You're up." She stated looking up from her books.

"That I am." He limped over and sat next to her on the black leather couch. Derek leaned over and kissed her cheek. "How was your day? Are you really behind?"

"Not too bad." She lied.

"Are you lying to me?"

She sighed and put her head on his shoulder. "Maybe. But, it was worth it."

"I won't distract you then." He said starting to get up.

"No!" She cried grabbing him and pushing him gently onto the couch. "Keep me company." Meredith smiled. "Read this." She handed him a back anal of a neurosurgical journal.

"Bossy." He muttered. She laughed. "I love you."

"Thank you." She said.

"We're going to do this again?" He joked.

Meredith laughed. "Thank you for talking to Nancy."

"I didn't…"

"You did, so thank you."

He kissed her lips hard and sighed. "Your welcome." She smiled and they both turned back to their reading, content on just being together.

"Derek?" Meredith looked towards him again.

"Hm?" He turned to her, looking up from the journal.

"I love you too."

***

**A/N: Cute filler. It did have some good Nancy drama though.**


	14. Moving Forward

**A/N: Not much to say here… just a reminder, all my chapter names are song titles…**

**Disclaimer: My friend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I said Grey's Anatomy. She just got me a bag. So, Shonda Rhimes still owns it. I'm just borrowing the characters.**

***

Meredith sat at her dining room table surrounded by books and papers. Her eyes wandered from book to book. Slowly, her eyes closed and her head fell towards the wood table. After sometime she heard keys turning in the door and the door opening. Her head snapped up and she looked back at her books. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed a masculine figure walking towards her. He kissed her on the top of her head and took the seat next to her.

"Hi." Derek said.

"Hi." Meredith responded, her nose still in the books, vigerously studying.

"You want to _actually_ say hello to me?" He joked sleepily.

She looked up at him. "Hello." She said kissing his lips quickly and turning back to her books.

"Better." He mumbled.

"Sorry Der." Meredith apologized. "I have my last final in two hours and then I'm all yours. Promise."

Derek nodded. "Okay. Please eat or drink before you go." He pleaded. "I don't want you fainting." She nodded in response. Derek kissed the top of her head, sighed, and walked towards the bedroom. His twelve-hour shift had knocked him out. He slowly made his way to the bed and slipped under the covers. Within seconds of his head hitting the pillow, he was asleep.

***

Meredith checked her watch. The small brown band with the glass face indicated that it was time to leave. She grabbed one notebook, some water, a Hershey bar, a granola bar, and writing utensils. After leaving the apartment, she locked the door and headed for the subway station on 96th street. Meredith swiped the small yellow metro card through the large silver turnstile and walked through.

Once sitting on the train she let her mind wander. She felt bad about being short with Derek but she was really horny and stressed. Not a good combination. They hadn't had sex for almost seven weeks. He'd told her he was okay a few weeks back but she'd wanted to wait until he was completely better. What she didn't realize was that by the time he was healed, finals would start. Meredith was just happy that in three days they'd be relaxing at Carolyn Shepherd's house in South Hampton. A ding signaled the opening of the subway doors and the fact that Meredith needed to get up and get off to walk the extra few blocks to her BioChem class on the Columbia campus. She arrived to the final prepared and early. Meredith sat and looked forwards, waiting for the test to start.

***

Five hours later Meredith walked out of the classroom and sighed. It felt like a huge weight was lifted off of her shoulders. No more finals and three days until she and Derek were together, alone. She wiped her brow with the back of her hand. When she looked forward she noticed a man with captivating blue eyes and curly brown hair leaning against a fire hydrant. He smiled at her widely. "Excuse me sir." Meredith said walking up to him. "My boyfriend doesn't like when guys smile at me." She said informatively.

The man grabbed Meredith and pressed a bruising kiss to her lips. He thrust his tongue into her mouth causing her to let out a moan. They broke the kiss but kept her in his arms. "Good thing your jealous boyfriend isn't here."

"Really?" Meredith asked. "Why is that?"

"He'd probably punch me."

"I bet he would." Meredith informed him.

"I know he would if he wasn't holding the sexiest girl in the world in his arms." He kissed her again. Meredith blushed and he laughed.

"Hi Derek." She giggled.

Derek kissed her again. "Hi Mer." He chuckled.

"You know there are girls staring at you?" Meredith asked.

"I think they're staring at you in envy." Derek said.

"You'd think that." Derek pulled her back into his arms and pressed a firm kiss to her lips. Some girls passing made angry faces.

"How was your test?" He asked, breaking the kiss.

She put her head down on his chest and sighed. "Fine. Just glad I'm done."

"I know you did well." He assured her.

"How do you know?" She looked up at him.

"Because you're my Meredith who's smart and amazing." He smiled. She blushed. "Will you…um…go on a date with me tonight." Derek stuttered jokingly.

"Hm…I don't know if I'm free." She joked back. Derek play bit her neck and tickled her ribs. "Fine. I'll go! I'll go!" She conceded, giggling.

"I thought so." They kissed again. This time, Derek let his tongue explore the depths of her mouth, causing Meredith to moan loudly. "You know we haven't had sex in seven weeks."

"Oh I do know. Seven weeks, three days and ten hours." She said.

"You counted." He laughed. Meredith shrugged. "I think it's hot that you counted." He whispered seductively into her ear.

"Freak." She mumbled.

"You love it."

"Eh." Meredith smiled. Derek stuck his tongue out. "Does our date tonight entitle sex?"

"Definitely." Derek said nodding.

"Good." She kissed him. "Lets go home Derek."

***

"Wow…you look…wow." Derek said as Meredith walked out of her room wearing a lavender sundress. She was wearing makeup, which was unusual.

Meredith smiled. "You don't look so bad yourself." She looked at her boyfriend dressed in dress pants and an indigo polo.

"You're wearing makeup." He said a little accusatively.

"Oh." Her hand went up to her face. "Yeah…I just wanted to look nice. Do you…not…like it?" She stuttered.

Derek closed the space between them and kissed her. "It's just different. I think you look beautiful in anything. You don't need makeup." He flirted. Meredith giggled, hugging him.

"Thank you." She smiled. Derek nodded and took her hand, leading her to the door. They walked to one of the neighborhood restaurants, Toast. They were seated. After a lovely meal they walked out, happy and hand-in-hand.

"Will you move in with me?" Meredith blurted as the turned the corner to walk into the lobby.

"What?"

"That was stupid." She cursed herself. "I shouldn't have blurted but…do you want to move in with me?"

"You want to live together?" Derek asked smiling.

"Well I mean I could…I just… if you don't want to I…"

"Yes." He answered.

Meredith looked at him. "Yes?" She opened the apartment door and they walked in.

"Absolutely. You sure you're ready?" He smiled reassuringly.

She nodded. "We already spend all of our nights together." She shrugged.

Derek smiled and scooped her up into his arms, spinning her madly. She burst out into a fit of giggles. He attacked her with kisses and they made their way to the bedroom to celebrate the evolving of their relationship. For the first time in her life, Meredith Grey was genuinely happy.

***

**A/N: Cute little chappie! OMG I'm excited for what's coming up. All the location stuff is correct… I do live in NYC so…**


	15. Next Step

**A/N: The italics either mean a flash back or someone on the other end of a phone call. It's used both ways in this chapter. If you don't get it, I'm sorry but you're kinda stupid.**

**Oh and if you didn't get it, all my chapter titles are songs.**

***

"Mer! Come on!" Derek called out. "Let's go!" Meredith shoved the last article of clothing into her suitcase and dragged the blue bad out into the living room. Derek saw her struggling with the large bag so he took it from her. "I have a surprise for you." He smiled.

"What?" She asked as if she were a child on Christmas morning.

"You'll see when we get outside." He smiled tauntingly.

"Derek!" She whined.

"The faster you move, the faster you get your surprise." Derek told her. She shoved him out the door and locked it. He carried her bag down the stairs with her behind him.

"You didn't." She said shocked as they stepped out of the building.

He nodded and smiled. "I did."

Meredith smiled and threw her arms around Derek's neck. "You rented a convertible to drive us to South Hampton." She stated happily.

"That I did."

"Can you get any more perfect?" She kissed his lips.

"Nope." He said.

"Oh god. Your ego is growing." She sighed and put her head against his chest.

"You love it." Derek kissed the top of her head. "Wanna get going?" Meredith nodded. They jumped into the blue convertible, securing their bags and seatbelts.

Meredith smiled as the car started. She couldn't believe that this was her life now. She'd spent her high school and freshman years sleeping around and she was what Cristina named 'dark and twisty'. Now she was sitting in a convertible, on her way to a mansion in the Hamptons, with the love of her life. If you'd asked her a year ago if this is where she'd be in a year, she would have laughed. Derek was the first man she'd loved and he made her believe that true love existed. It still scared her that he'd realize that she wasn't good enough for him and he'd go find someone like Addison. She looked over at him and smiled softly. His curls blew in the wind as they cruised downtown.

"What?" Derek asked noticing Meredith watching him.

She shook her head. "Nothing." She smiled.

"Mer…" He trailed, knowing something was off.

Meredith could sense that he wouldn't lighten up until she told him. "It's just…I love you." She smiled trying to distract him.

It didn't work but Derek gave up thinking he'd get an answer later. "I love you too." He said taking her hand and bringing it to his lips. Just then his phone rung, He let go of Meredith's hand and answered it from his Bluetooth. "Hello?" He said into the small microphone.

"_Derek?"_ The voice on the other line asked.

"Yes ma?" He said with a smile. Derek hadn't talked to her in a few weeks and he was concerned with the reason she'd call.

"_Am I on speaker phone?" Carolyn asked._

"No ma." He responded confused.

"_Good. I just wanted to tell you that the key to the house is-"_

"Under the vase by the door. I know. You've told me a million times." Derek interrupted knowing his mother was up to something.

"_Okay. And my ring is in the safe in my bedroom."_

"You want me to bring it home?" Confusion hit Derek like waves hit an eroding beach.

"_No. I want you to give it to Meredith."_

Derek had a puzzled expression on his face, which caused Meredith's face to do the same. "What?"

"_Derek, Kathleen told me you bought a ring."_

"Yes." He said straightly trying not to give anything away to Meredith.

"_Well, your father wanted to give his Shepherd boy the ring for the right girl."_

"What about-"

"_She wasn't right. I knew that. Meredith, she's good for you. You love her. Derek, honey, you see in black and white. Meredith doesn't. You need a spoonful of that."_

Derek could tell that his mother was crying. There were tears threatening to fall down his cheeks as well. "Thank you ma." He smiled.

"_Of course. Have a good time and get back to Meredith now."_

"Okay ma."

"_Tell her I said hi."_

"I will. Bye ma." Derek hung up the phone. "My mom said hi." He said.

"Oh."

"She likes you. She thinks you're good for me." Derek smiled broadly.

"Really?" Meredith asked a little shocked.

"Really." He couldn't help but smile. The ring burning a hole through his pocket was making him giddy.

***

The couple had walked into the house and put their stuff away. Meredith insisted on getting outside quickly. She'd put on her bikini and went to the private beach. Derek said he'd be right out after her. He slipped the ring he was returning into a drawer and took his mothers ring out of the safe. After changing into his swimsuit he slipped the small ring into his pocket. He still remembered the first time he asked his mother about the ring. He he'd been only four or five.

"_Mommy?" Derek asked his mother as she sat at the kitchen table._

"_Yes handsome?" Carolyn asked pulling her son onto her lap._

"_Where that ring from?"_

"_This one?" She asked pointing to the ring on her left hand. Derek nodded. "Your daddy gave it to me."_

"_Why?" The curious little boy asked._

"_Because he loves me very much." Carolyn smiled at her son. "When you find a woman you love you'll give her a ring too."_

_Derek scrambled off his mother's lap and ran to his room. He took the ring pop from off his desk and ran back to the kitchen. Then he opened the candy and handed it to his mother. She laughed. "I love ooou mommy." He said climbing back on to her lap._

_Carolyn put the ring on to humor her son. "Oh I love you too Derbear." She chuckled. _

Derek smiled as he pulled a chair up next to Meredith's on the small private beach that was part of the house. She looked so peaceful sunbathing, her small purple bikini leaving not much to the imagination. Her large sunglasses protected her eyes from the sun that was blaring in them. He knew that it had to be now. This was the perfect time. He smiled to himself and lay on his side quietly next to Meredith. She didn't stir from her position so he assumed she'd fallen asleep or into a daze. He took off her sunglasses. Once her eyes began to squint, signaling her waking up he held the small silver ring over her eyes and used his other hand to shield the sun so she could open them.

"Derek…what…?" Meredith asked opening her eyes and noticing the ring.

"You helped me through an accident and I didn't even remember you at one point. That's when I knew I needed you. You can call me a sap or whatever but I do believe in love at first sight. And, I think I experienced it with you. From the minute I saw you at my speech I could tell that you were a person I wanted to get to know. I'm glad to have had the chance to. You've said you're dark and twisty. It's not a flaw, it's a strength. It makes you who you are. I'm not getting down on one knee. I'm not going to ask a question. Meredith, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Tears of joy fell down Meredith's cheeks. "And I want to spend the rest of my life with you." They both smiled. Derek grabbed Meredith's waist and pulled her on top of him. He enveloped her lips in a passionate kiss, as she lay on top of him, warm from the sun. Neither wanted to break the kiss but they needed to breath. "That was…"

"Best kiss ever." Derek smiled, pecking her lips.

"You are so corny."

Derek faked shock. "I thought that was a great speech!"

She smiled. "It was. I love you for it." He smiled, kissed her again and began reaching for her bikini top.

***

"Best…sex…ever." Meredith panted as she lay beside Derek on the beach chair and pulled a large blanket over the two. She'd brought it out for this reason exactly.

"Definitely." Derek said bringing her back into his arms. "Want to go again?" He smiled broadly at her they laughed and got lost in each other.

***

**A/N: Cute? Horrid? To see if anyone reads my notes I'm adding a small spoiler: life isn't always happy in the MerDer world.**


	16. Lay All Your Love On Me

**A/N: Inspired by the first part of the song Voulez Vous by ABBA!**

***

Meredith turned over to look at the clock. Six o'clock. She shouldn't be up yet but she couldn't fall back asleep. Suddenly the urge to take a walk washed over her. She climbed out of bed, careful not to wake up the sleeping Derek. She tiptoed to the dresser that held her clothes and changed into some shorts and a tank top. After writing a quick note to Derek she walked down stairs and out the door. Meredith walked along the public beach for some time before hearing someone calling her name.

"Meredith! Meredith Grey!" A man shouted.

Meredith turned around to see her gay friend, from BioChem class, Calvin running towards her. "Hi." She waved at him and smiled. He continued towards her and hugged her.

"Hi." He panted.

"You've been running?" She asked.

"Yeah. I didn't know you came to the Hamptons."

"Oh I… no…my boyfriend…I mean fiancé's mother owns one…a house…" Meredith rambled.

"You're engaged?" Calvin asked excitedly.

"Yeah." She smiled broadly thinking of Derek. "Three days ago."

"Congratulations!" Calvin shouted picking her up and swinging her around. She laughed heartily.

"Thanks. I better go so Derek doesn't get worried." Meredith sighed.

"Come on." He said draping a friendly arm over her shoulder. "I'll walk you home." They walked to Carolyn's house laughing and talking. "This is a beautiful house." Calvin commented.

"I love it." She smiled. "I'll see you in September?"

"Definitely. Maybe we'll go for drinks with Cristina back in the city."

"Totally. Bye." She smiled. Calvin hugged her and kissed her cheek.

***

Derek woke up with a groan. He reached over to grab Meredith but his hand just hit a piece of paper. He grasped the paper and pulled it to his face. After rubbing his eyes he read it.

_**Derek,**_

_**I went running…well walking. I don't run. Well, you know that but…well…I didn't want to wake you. You looked too cute and comfortable but I couldn't sleep. I'll be back for breakfast. **_

_**Mer**_

_**xx**_

He smiled at her ability to ramble even when writing. Derek climbed out of bed and stumbled towards the shower. After a shower he walked down the stairs and made some coffee. Derek took his coffee to the balcony that extended off his and Meredith's bedroom. He saw Meredith walking up the driveway with a mans arm around her shoulders. His fists clenched. When the guy kissed _his _fiancé, _his _Meredith on the cheek the anger and jealousy soared through him.

"Derek?" Meredith called walking through the front door. Derek rushed down the stairs. Meredith smiled until she realized Derek's eyes were a shade of blue that only happened when he wanted her or when he was mad. At the moment it seemed to be the latter one.

"Get out." He growled.

"Wha…?"

"GET OUT OF HERE!" Derek shouted. She flinched.

"What the hell is wrong with you Derek?" She asked holding back tears.

"Don't play dumb." He snarled.

"Derek, stop. What did I do?" Meredith asked loudly, tears rolling down her cheeks. _Who was this imposter and what did he do with Derek?_

"YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME!" He yelled tears falling down his own face. "You're a lying, no good, cheating, whore!"

"WHAT?" Meredith screeched. "I'm not!" Tears continuing to sting her eyes and fall down her cheeks.

"Get the hell out." Derek shouted. "You cheated and now you're lying, I saw you with him outside."

"Seriously? SERIOUSLY!" She screamed. "That was…"

"I don't give a shit." Derek spat, interrupting her. "Get out."

"Fine!"

"FINE!"

Before she knew what was happening she felt her right hand reaching for the silver band on her left and pulling off. She decided to go with it. "By the way Derek. That's my friend Calvin from New York." She said calmly. "AND HE'S GAY!" Meredith yelled and threw the ring at Derek hitting him square on the forehead. With that she ran out the door, slamming it, and she ran down the street. She continued to run until she saw a pier that stuck out into the ocean and she went to sit on it. As she watched the ocean her body was racked with sobs. Meredith covered her face with her hands and just sobbed and sobbed. Derek had called her a whore. After throwing his mother's ring at his head she feared for the end of her engagement and relationship.

***

Derek sighed and slumped down on the floor. How could he be so brainless? With one hand he rubbed his head, which was printed from the ring and with the other he flipped the ring around in his hand. If their engagement was over it was his fault. Why did he have to be a jealous son of a bitch? Derek quickly stood up and ran out the door knowing what he had to do. He ran along the beach trying not to cry until he heard a heart-breaking sob. Changing direction, he ran out onto a pier and towards a small female figure who was producing the sound. "Mer." He pleaded wrapping her in his arms.

She smiled at the feeling of being in his arms for a second, and then continued sobbing, remembering what he said, and pushed him away. "Get away from me." She cried.

"Meredith, I…I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I…I'm just a jealous son of a bitch." Tears fell down his cheeks. He wasn't going down without a fight. "Please. I'm so sorry. Please."

"No Derek." She cried. "No. You can't call me a whore, apologize and expect me to fall right into your arms. No."

"Mer, you can't say that this is over. That you don't want this anymore." He said painfully.

"I could." She whispered. Derek's heart broke into a million pieces.

"I just want you to be happy." He whispered.

"I could say that I didn't want to marry you or see you." She looked at him for the first time since he'd arrived. "But that would be the biggest lie in the universe. And I could never be happy without you."

"Thank you."

"But don't think I'll just fall into your arms." She said. "You really hurt me."

"I know. I'm sorry. I…just don't want other guys touching you. I love you so much." Derek sighed. "And you're not a whore. You're the opposite…you're a lady…a sexy lady…a beautiful one. I will never stop apologizing for what I did."

Meredith smiled, inched towards him, and rest her head on his chest. They'd both suffered enough today. She could be mad later. Derek wrapped his arms around her, smiling. He had his Meredith. That was all he needed. "I love you." She whispered into his chest.

He hugged her harder. "I love you too." They sat together, just happy to hold each other. Within minutes rain was pouring down on them. "Want to go in?" Derek asked kissing her head. She nodded and they helped each other up. Once safely in the house Derek pulled Meredith into his arms. You know what happens after fighting, don't you?" He said seductively.

"Make-up sex?" She asked.

"Make-up sex." Derek kissed her.

***

**A/N: Little tiff. They wouldn't be Meredith and Derek if they didn't have little misunderstandings. **


	17. Talk

**A/N: Fluffy filler**

***

"Meredith!" Addison screamed running into Meredith's, and now Derek's apartment. Cristina had moved in with Owen.

"Hey Addie." She giggled running to hug her friend.

"So you two moved in together and got engaged and I heard about it on the phone!" She said smacking Meredith on the arm.

"Sorry Addie." Meredith blushed. "We had a… dispute and he spent the following week making it up to me." She smiled suggestively.

Addison laughed. "I'm so happy for you Mer!" She hugged her friend.

"Thanks." Meredith smiled.

"I got to ask you something." She said dragging Meredith over to a chair. They sat facing each other. "Will you be my maid of honor?"

"Are you sure you want me…I don't know much about weddings and stuff…What do I have to do?" Meredith asked a little nervously. She didn't want to disappoint her friend.

"Not much. Just plan the wedding shower with my help, bachelorette party, give a toast, and walk down the isle."

"I can do that." Meredith shrugged and smiled. "Who are the other bridesmaids?"

"I was going to ask Cristina and I have my friend Naomi from med school." Addison beamed. "I don't have many good friends because of the whole 'working over eighty hours a week'."

"Who are Mark's groomsmen?"

"Well it's kinda perfect because his best man is your fiancé, so you can walk with him. And his other two are Owen and Sam, Nai's husband."

"That's too perfect!" Meredith laughed.

"I know! But doesn't that make us kinda lame? That I'm friends with the wives or the girlfriends, and he's friends with the men?"

"Not really." Meredith shrugged.

Addison sighed. "I should go. Have a lot of work. My wedding is in three months!" She beamed. "All I've done is sent the invitations, picked a caterer, picked a hall and church, and picked my dress." Addison began to freak out. "Oh and tomorrow you need to be at the bridal shop at eight o'clock."

"What why?"

"Dresses!" Addison said in a 'duh' voice.

"Oh. Okay." Meredith faked a smile. She was definitely not excited about trying on dresses. Knowing Addison, they'd be pink and frilly.

"Got to go." Addie said.

"Bye." Meredith said walking her friend to the door and hugging her.

"Bye."

***

"Mer!" Derek called dropping his bag on the floor and closing the door.

"Bedroom!" She called back, her voice muffled by the walls.

Derek made his way to the bedroom and opened the door. "Hi." He said walking over to kiss her.

Meredith put her book down and put her arms around his neck. "Hi." She smiled as he broke their kiss.

He climbed into bed next to her and pulled her into his arms and between his legs. She rest her head back against his shoulder. There was nowhere she'd rather be at that moment. "What kind of wedding do you want?" She asked him.

"I want whatever you want." Derek smiled, grabbed her shoulder and kissed it.

"Cause… I'm not really a… church wedding bride or a… poufy white dress bride." She stuttered.

"We'll get naked and get married in a field with flowers." Derek suggested teasingly and made then both laugh.

"I'm not a naked bride." She laughed.

"You'd be a beautiful naked bride." Derek smiled and kissed her neck. She laughed again. "We could get married in jeans." He suggested.

Meredith smiled. "I like that. That's our theme then. Simplicity."

"You know the sisters and Addie won't be happy." He sighed. "They'll bother us nonstop."

"Whatever that, the big wedding with the fluffy white dress, isn't us." She turned her face into the crook of his neck.

"Yep." Derek kissed the top of her head. "We'll deal. They can all help Addie." Meredith nodded. "It's kinda perfect right? Addison's wedding. You're the maid of honor, I'm the best man."

"It_ is_ kinda perfect." Meredith smiled.

"I don't know how I'll be able to resist you in what ever hot number Addie makes you wear." He whispered seductively, running his hands up and down her sides making her shiver. She turned over on his lap and began pressing kisses along his jaw line causing him to let out a small moan. She continued to let her hands wander which sent them into an afternoon of pleasure.

***

"No!" Cristina exclaimed walking out of the dressing room in a pink, bow covered dress. "No way. Not ever!"

"You look pretty!" Meredith joked knowing her friend was really hating this.

"Shut up." She scowled. "Addison, I am not wearing this!" Cristina said turning to Addison.

"Fine. It's not so amazing anyways." Addison said. "Meredith, try on the next one." Meredith walked into the dressing room and came out in a simple but elegant halter dress that fell down to the floor. "Yes." Addison said. "That's it." She smiled. "Everyone try it on and get measured." Once they were all measured and paid for they went out to Naomi's car.

"Should we call the boys?" Naomi asked.

"Yes. We can all hang out." Addison said excitedly. The rest of the girls smiled supportively.

***

Hours later the couples sat together in Mark and Addison's apartment that they had newly moved into on the upper east side. "Lets play spin the bottle." Addison suggested.

"We're not twelve anymore!" Cristina said.

"So?" Addison asked.

"So…that's a kids game!" She added.

"What's spin the bottle?" Meredith whispered to her fiancé whose lap she was sitting on.

"You don't know what spin the bottle is?" He asked a little too loudly.

"How have you never played spin the bottle?" Naomi asked.

"Um…I didn't really have many friends…" Meredith responded uncomfortably.

"Oh." Naomi said quietly. There was an awkward moment.

"So how do you play?" Meredith asked smiling, lightening the mood. Derek leaned in and kissed her cheek.

"Well we sit around the table with a bottle in the middle of it." Addison started. "And then someone spins the bottle."

"Okay, I gathered that much from the name." Meredith joked.

"Okay. Then whoever spins has to kiss the person it lands on." She said. Meredith opened her mouth to speak but Addison cut her off. "Even if it's the same sex. And it's a five second kiss on the lips."

"What happened to playing that you sit boy, girl, boy, girl and you kiss the opposite sex?" Naomi asked.

"I'm the bride-to-be and this is more interesting." She smiled.

"Oh hell no I'm not kissing a guy." Mark said.

Addison smacked him. "We're playing Mark." She glared at him. "I'll go first." Addison spins the bottle and it lands on Naomi. She shrugged, leaned over the table and kissed Naomi. Mark and Sam smiled broadly at each other. Five seconds later the kiss was over but an awkward silence loomed in the room.

Mark broke it by taking the small glass bottle. "No!" He exclaimed looking at whom the opening was pointing to. "Hell fucking no." He shook his head violently.

"I agree no!" Derek said.

"Come on, be a man Markie." Addison giggled.

"No!" Mark said.

"You have to." Sam laughed.

"Come on Der!" Meredith smiled.

"No!"

"Fine. New rule, if you don't kiss you've gotta strip, in front of everyone." Addison smiled.

Before anyone knew Derek and Mark's lips were together, both of their hands up in the air, counting down from five. They broke apart and both took a long swig of their beers. Derek grabbed with both hands Meredith's face and pressed their lips together, needing to get the feeling of Mark's off his. She smiled when she let go. "That was very nice. Are you two sure you don't want Addie and I to leave." She smirked. Addison laughed. Derek took Meredith's hand in his and kissed it.

"Enough with the PDA." Cristina groaned.

"Fine. My turn!" Meredith said excitedly. She turned the small glass bottle and shut her eyes, afraid of the result. She looked up. "Yes!" She exclaimed.

"In your face Sloan." Derek gloated, leaning to press his lips to his fiancé's. It was well after five seconds when they parted.

"My turn." Derek said taking the bottle in his hand. "Oh."

"Kissing me isn't that bad!" Addison shouted.

"I didn't mean…" Derek said, knowing not to anger Addison. He just pressed their lips together lightly and counted to five.

The evening continued for another half-hour with laughs and awkward kisses. Meredith let out a yawn. "I should get her home." Derek said. "And I have an early day tomorrow."

"We should go too." Cristina said.

"Us too." Sam added.

"Okay." Addison sighed.

"See you tomorrow." Derek told Mark as they walked towards the door. They women hugged and said goodbye.

***

"Derek?" Meredith asked into the darkness later that night.

"Yes?" He responded pulling her closer.

"I can't wait to be your wife." She smiled to herself. "Even if you are brainless sometimes."

Derek ran his hands up and down Meredith's sides, and kissed her head. "I can't wait to be married to you either."

***

**A/N: Fluffy and random.**


	18. Love Drunk

**A/N: Whoa…17 chapters… this isn't really substantial… but I liked it. **

***

"It's a late summer, early fall wedding Mer! I don't want bright pretty flowers." Addison said, frustrated. The two women sat on Addison's couch surrounded by wedding planning material.

"I'm not good at this stuff Addie! I'm here for support and so that the boys could go out." Meredith responded. "And cause I'm your made of honor."

"Uh. I'm done for the night." Addison groaned dropping the book on the table. "Want a beer?" Meredith nodded. "What should we do?" Before either could continue they heard loud laughing in the hall and then a fist banging on the door. Addison walked over to the door with Meredith close behind her. She looked through the peephole. "It's the idiots." She exclaimed. "They look drunk…and bloody."

Meredith raised her eyebrow in confusion. "Let them in before someone calls the cops." Addison unlocked the door, opened it and the boys stumbled in, Marks arm slung over Derek's shoulder and they were laughing. Meredith and Addison shared a look of confusion as Addie shut the door. Mark had a black eye; he had a gash on his cheek and his knuckles looked red and swollen. Derek looked like he had a black eye as well, he had a few cuts along is eye line, his knuckles also looked beaten up. His usually perfect hair was flattened and messed. That combined with the cut on his lip made him resemble Dracula. "What did you idiots do?" Meredith asked leading them over to the couch.

"I beat him up." Mark slurred.

"No, I beat…Mark up." Derek slurred. Meredith couldn't help but smile. He was a cute drunk.

"Why did you get in a fight?" Addison asked. "Cause I swear Mark, if that's what you look like for our wedding I will find another groom."

"He said he was better at sex than me." Derek slurred, again. The alcohol definitely had affected him. "I said no. Tell him I'm good Mer." Addison stifled a laugh. Meredith let it out. Neither could believe how stupid their fiancé was. "Mer, tell him." Derek whined.

"You're great." Meredith played along.

"Addie…tell him I'm better." Mark demanded, still obviously very drunk.

"You're great." Addison said, not trying to best Meredith at fear that in their drunken state they'd start another fight.

"Addie, I better get him home." Meredith sighed. "They're both going to be sorry in the morning."

"At least it'll be Sunday. No classes, no work." Addison smiled, helping Meredith get her fiancé off the couch. Meredith wrapped her arms around his waist and led him out the door.

Getting him into a cab was fairly difficult. He was stumbling and he kept reaching to feel Meredith up. She laughed at his attempts. Finally, she got him into a cab. "Two fifteen west Ninety-Eighth Street. Off Broadway." She told the cab driver. He nodded.

"You're sexy…and hot." Derek smiled, drunkenly.

"And you're stupid."

"Why…you can't call me stupid!" He said, hurt. He was too drunk to really be hurt though.

Meredith rolled her eyes. "I can when you go out drinking and beat up your best friend."

"I guess that was stupid." He slurred. Meredith nodded. She sunk into his chest and he wrapped an arm around her, letting his hands travel up her sides.

"Derek!" She laughed.

"What?" He slurred.

"You're feeling me up."

Derek continued to roam his hands. "So? You're my…fiancé."

"We're in a cab." Meredith pointed out.

"So?" He breathed into her ear. She shivered. The rest of the cab ride continued in silence, Derek rubbing one hand up her sides, occasionally moving down and squeezing her butt. He pressed drunken, sloppy kisses to her face. She let him because it was useless to fight him and it was hard to protest. The cab stopped, Meredith paid the man and helped Derek out. They stumbled up stairs and into their apartment. Derek tried to attack her with kisses once the door was shut but he missed most and ended up pressing slobbery kisses to her ears and cheeks. After much effort she guided him to the couch and as soon as his head hit the back he fell asleep.

Meredith giggled and put his feet up on a stool. She went to the kitchen grabbed an ice pack for his hand and a slab of steak for his eye. Meredith put the ice pack on his hand and the meat on his eye and went to get him aspirin for when he arose. After putting the aspirin on the table and closing the blinds, she curled up under Derek's arm and went to sleep.

***

Derek woke up with a groan. Everything hurt. His eye, head and hand especially. He smelled coffee and woke up. After removing the cold meat and pack from himself he took the aspirin before him and stumbled into the kitchen. "Hi."

"Hey." Meredith whispered smiling. "Coffee?" He nodded, took the cup out of her hands, and sat down. She rubbed a hand down his back offering as much comfort as possible. "Where's you're ice pack and steak? You need to keep them on."

"Living room." He mumbled. Derek couldn't help but smile at her protectiveness. She came back with the two remedies and put them on Derek. He winced at the cold hitting his face.

"You're eye looks better today." Meredith smiled.

"What happened?"

"You got drunk and beat up your best friend." She said, still speaking quietly afraid of angering his hangover.

"Why?"

"You had a fight about who was better at sex." Meredith tried not to laugh but when Derek began chuckling she couldn't resist. He winced in pain and stopped laughing. "Why don't you go lie down in bed." She asked. "You slept on the couch all night."

"Where did you sleep?"

"With you."

"Then you come lie down with me." He smiled extending his hand to her as he stood. She nodded, grabbed the cold substances, and wrapped her arms around his midsection. Derek wrapped an arm around her shoulders and they walked towards the bedroom. They lay down on the bed and with in minutes both were asleep.

***

When Derek woke up hours later his headache was gone. Meredith was pillowing on his chest. He smiled and began stroking her honey locks. Her sleeping form was so beautiful.

She stirred slightly and opened her eyes. "Hi." Meredith smiled at him.

"Hey honey." He used one hand to pull her face to his. Derek kissed her lips tenderly.

"You called me honey." She said questioningly.

"Yes." He raised his eyebrow in confusion.

"You never call me any pet names."

"So, I'm starting."

Meredith shook her head. "It's not…us."

"You're right. It isn't." He kissed the top of her head.

"Will I make a good wife?" She asked suddenly self conscious. "I mean… I never had a roll model."

"Yes. Mer, I couldn't ask for a better wife." Derek reassured her.

"But I don't let you call me pet names, I can't cook, I don't clean, I'm going to be a surgeon or a doctor…" He kissed her lips, stopping her ramble.

"Mer, I love those things about you. I'm so proud of you and when you're a doctor we'll be the greatest team ever." Meredith giggled at this. "I don't need to call you pet names I love your name. I love saying it and I love screaming it…" She punched him in the rib. "I cook, I clean and you don't need to do those things."

"Really? Cause when you're a star Neurosurgeon you're going to need arm candy not…me." She said quietly.

"Mer, you are perfect arm candy. You're beautiful, sweet and you actually have a brain." Derek rested a hand on her cheek. "I love you and I can't wait to call you my wife."

"Okay." Meredith smiled and snuggled into his arms.

***

**A/N: Next chapter is important!**


	19. Meet The Monster

**A/N: Important stuff… Thanks to all my reviewers! I love you all! You're amazing! First time we meet Ellis Grey…**

***

"Mer, you sure you want to do this?" Derek asked as they stood in front of the doors to Boston General Hospital. He held on to her hand.

Meredith nodded. She looked up at the building that ruined her childhood by taking her mother. In a strange way it resembled Ellis, cold. "You're my fiancé. She has no clue I've been dating at all for the past year… I have only spoken to her once. I want to tell her. I…we need to tell her." Meredith rambled. "We _are_ getting married. And we already drove four hours out here." She shrugged.

"Okay Mer." Derek smiled supportively, put an arm around her shoulders, and kissed the side of her head.

She twisted her hands nervously. "Please… please don't leave me once you see how mean and horrible my mother is." She edged away from him and looked at her twisting hands.

"Never. I will never ever leave you. I promise." Derek pulled her back into his side.

"Lets go." She smiled, took a step and stepped back. "I…I can't do it." Her face froze.

"You can." Derek shook his head 'yes'. "I believe that you can. You're strong and I'll be right here."

Meredith smiled a little. "Lets do this." Derek linked his fingers through hers and they walked into Boston General. Once at the nearest nurse's station they asked for Dr. Grey to paged.

"Who do I say it is?" One of the floor nurses asked.

"Tell her it's a consult." Meredith said. Ellis wouldn't come if she told her it was her daughter. She knew if she walked out of the hospital, she'd never come back.

Five minutes later Ellis Grey stormed up to the nurse's station, a frown on her face. "Meredith I told you never to bother me when I'm working." She growled.

"You're always working!" She declared. "I needed to tell you-"

"Who's that?" Ellis interrupted, pointing at Derek.

"Mom, this…" She curled under Derek's arm and put her hand on his chest. "Is my fiancé Derek Shep…"

"FIANCE?!" Ellis interrupted, "Meredith you're not even junior in college! You don't need a fiancé! Men just slow you down. I thought I taught you better. Anyways, how old is your _fiancé_?" She spat.

Meredith looked down, obviously upset. "You're right mom. I don't need a fiancé." Derek was shocked. He would have never thought Ellis had so much power over her. But there was no way in the world he'd give up Meredith. "But I need Derek whether he's my husband, fiancé, boyfriend, lover, whatever!" She stormed off dragging Derek behind her.

"Nice to meet you Dr. Grey." He called out over his shoulder. Meredith led Derek out the doors of the hospital and into their car. She climbed into the passenger seat and he jumped in the driver's side. Looking forward, Meredith ran a hand through her golden locks. Her lips were pulled into what Derek though was the most adorable pout. "Mer, are you okay?"

"Fine. I'm fine Derek just drive." She snapped.

"You're not fine." He insisted.

"I am Derek." Meredith snapped again. He gave up, for now, and started the car. Derek knew he'd get it out of her later.

***

Derek used the room key to open the door of the hotel they were staying at. They'd decided against driving home that day and decided to stay in a Hilton in Boston. Meredith walked in, having not spoken since they left the hospital, and walked over to the bed. She flopped down and slid under the covers. Derek followed suit and wrapped her in his arms. "Mer, talk to me."

"No. There's nothing to talk about." She tensed out of his grasp.

Derek held her closer. "Mer, we're getting married soon and the only thing you have told me about your mother is that she worked a lot."

"Drop it Derek."

"No." He insisted.

"Fine." Meredith huffed and sat up. "You really want to know about my mother?" He nodded. "Well, she divorced my dad when I was five and I never saw him again. For days and days I waited by the window waiting for my daddy to come home to me. One day Ellis actually came home and told me to get away from the window and that Thatcher Grey was never coming home. I have no clue where he is now." A lone tear fell down her cheek.

"You can break…"

Meredith ignored him and continued. "And when I was seven she took a scalpel and slit her wrists in front of me. I had to wait until she passed out to call 911 because she told me not to. Then we moved from Seattle to Boston. I had to leave all my friends and my entire life behind. Then she became more of a workaholic and I hardly ever saw her. I had a nanny until I was twelve but then she said I was too old for a nanny. This meant I was left home alone most of the time. At the age of fourteen I hated my mother so much that I went to the drug store, bought pink hair dye and dyed my hair pink. She was furious. I loved it. I also wore a lot of black."

"Mer you can stop… really…" Derek pleaded. He could see that this was really affecting her.

"Shut up I need to finish." She cried. "When I was fifteen I went to a party, had some tequila and really loved it. I'd find ways to get it and I'd drink so much I had to get my stomach pumped twice. I lost my virginity at fifteen too." Derek kringed. He didn't like that other guys had touched his Meredith. "Some how though I always got A+ and that made Ellis pleased. Otherwise I was just a dissapointment to her and she told me repeatedly. The drinking and the style choice continued until my freshman year in college. Then I started to even out and just focused on my studies. But, the sex continued to my sophomore year. My only friend was Cristina. Then, I met you and my life got so much better."

"My life got so much better when I met you too." Derek smiled and pulled Meredith into his arms. She relaxed and let him hold her.

"You're not going to leave?" Meredith asked.

"Of course not Mer."

"Even after you know how dark and twisty I am?" She looked at him.

"Never."

"Thank you." She cried into his shoulder.

"Thank _you_." Derek kissed the top of her head and rocked her back and forth.

***

**A/N: It's shortish but whatever!**


	20. This Party Is No Fun

**A/N: R and R!**

***

"Mer. Why do we have to go?" Derek whined wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her into his chest. She looked amazing dressed in a short black dress that hugged her curves perfectly. Her blonde waves sat perfectly on her shoulders and of course smelled like lavender.

Meredith breathed in his sent. He always wore just enough cologne. An indigo shirt adorned his chest. It was neatly tucked in to his dark jeans and his hair framed his face in perfect curls. She sighed. "Because you're Mark's best man and I'm Addison's maid of honor." Meredith replied shoving him off and continuing to apply her make up. She had no desire to go either. The beginning of her junior year was killing her and she'd rather use the time to sleep or spend time with her fiancé.

He reached for the make up. "You don't need it."

"Yes I do." She said pushing his hands away.

"No. You're beautiful without it." Derek said snatching it out of her hands. Luckily she'd applied mascara and eye shadow to both eyes so she didn't look crazy.

"Fine." She pouted. He leaned in and kissed her lips.

"Since when being the best man and maid of honor require attending the bachelor and bachelorette parties?" He joked.

"Well, we're suppose to plan it but Addison and Mark were convinced that only they'd do it right." Meredith laughed a little. Derek joined in. Their friends could be very snobby sometimes but it shaped their personalities. "But, that means we've got to go."

Derek pouted. "But I don't want you to stare at naked guys."

"How do you know…"

"She's Addison. She'll have the most traditional bachelorette party ever. Meaning strippers." He interrupted.

"Oh and you want me to believe that Mark isn't bringing you guys to a Gentleman's Club?" Meredith smirked.

"No…well…I" Derek stuttered.

"Exactly. And it will help with your jealousy complex." She smiled and slipped on one of her heels.

"Oh so you're fine with me going to look at half naked women?" He asked.

"No. But I'm not an idiot like you." Meredith shrugged sliding the other heel on.

"What? You're not allowed to call me an idiot." Derek said. Fake hurt dripping from his voice.

"Who said?" She asked.

"Me." He pointed to him self then pulled her into his arms.

"Well, you are an idiot." Meredith smiled twisting in his arms to face him.

"Fine. I'm a jealous idiot. Happy?"

"Yes." She smirked and kissed his lips. He deepened the kiss, letting his hands roam.

"But promise me you won't enjoy the view." Derek said breaking their kiss, still holding her.

"If I did that I'd just feed your enormous ego." Derek pouted. She sighed. "Fine. I won't enjoy the view. I want the same from you."

"What?" He asked confused.

"Say it." Meredith commanded.

"I won't enjoy the view." He replied simply.

"Thank you." She kissed him again and rested her head against his chest.

"I guess we're both jealous idiots." Derek chuckled.

"Nope. I'm just jealous. Not an idiot." Meredith laughed and walked out of the room.

***

Meredith took a sip of her Martini and put it back on the table. She glanced over at her friends who were obliviously drunk. They all sat at the best table at the best strip club for women in New York City. She was definitely the most sober of the group. Meredith felt a tad tipsy but nothing compared to Addison and Cristina who were almost falling over as they called out to the boys. Naomi was a little more composed but still pretty drunk. So not to stand out Meredith cheered and whistled like her friends, so not to stand out, but as the 'entertainment' pulled off on article of clothing at a time she felt no arousal.

At the moment, she hated Derek Shepherd. He ruined her. Derek could be stupid, idiotic, jealous, and ego driven but he was the only man she could think about. Meredith wanted nothing more to leave and take advantage of her hot fiancé but she couldn't leave her drunken friends alone. They'd probably get themselves run over by a car. She also knew if she left Derek would get a huge ego boost that he definitely didn't need. Meredith really hoped he wasn't enjoying his entertainment.

***

Derek sighed and took a long swig of his beer. Unlike the rest of the party he was pretty sober and not calling out to the girls. He couldn't deny they were attractive but they were so fake. Their makeup was everywhere. Meredith hardly ever wore make up. Their chests looked like something done in an OR. Meredith was perfect with no surgery. Their skimpy clothes left almost nothing to the imagination. Meredith wouldn't degrade herself like that. He really wanted to leave but someone had to haul his friend's drunken asses home.

Looking at his watch Derek realized it was already 1:30am. Considering the wedding was the next evening he figured he should get everyone home. "Come on guys. We got to get you home." Derek said hauling Mark out of his seat. They all groaned and stood up. Everyone in the group besides Derek stumbled towards the door.

Mark threw his arm over Derek's shoulder. "I'ma gettin m-married in tomorrow…to the hottest girl ever…Ad…Addison. Our anniversary is…it's gonna be September 24th. He slurred.

Derek laughed. "That's right. About you getting married. But, my fiancé is the hottest girl ever."

"N-no."

"Sure buddy. What ever you say." He laughed again. After getting Owen, Sam and Mark into Mark's car he drove Owen home then he drove Mark to Sam's. Addison refused to let Mark see her on their wedding day so he was bunking with Sam. He left the car at Sam's. As he walked to the number 2 train a pair of hands grabbed him.

***

Meredith looked down at her watch, 1:25am_. Finally_ she thought _I can leave_. "Come on girls." She said trying to drag her friends out. After much difficulty she piled her friends into Naomi's car. Then she drove them home, leaving Naomi's car at her house. As she walked towards the number 2 train she saw an all too familiar form in front of her. Meredith quietly walked up behind him and slid her arms around his waist. He jumped up a mile.

"Shit Mer. You scared me!" Derek said twisting in her arms to face her.

"Sorry."

"I forgive you." He smiled and kissed the top of her head. "You drunk?"

"Nope. I wasn't in the mood." She responded.

"Me neither." They began walking to the train station.

"Did you enjoy your night?" Meredith asked.

"Did you?"

"I asked you first." She smiled.

"Truth?" He asked.

"Truth."

"No."

Meredith laughed. "Me neither. You ruined me Derek Shepherd."

"Good." Derek smiled and kissed the side of her head.

***

**A/N: Cute filler…wedding next! And did anyone notice the wedding date? **


	21. Wedding Day

**A/N: Addie and Mark's wedding! If you want to see the ballroom where it's going to take place look it up on Google. It's really amazing to. It is a restored hotel that is now used partly for Common Cause housing. All the money from the rent of the ballroom goes to helping Common Cause get people off the street. In the front there is an amazing cocktail area that has some of the old architecture. I know all this because I almost had my bat mitzvah there. Enjoy!**

**Oh and I fixed this chapter up. **

***

"Derek! We're going to be late! Hurry!" Meredith shouted.

"I'm coming Mer! Hold on." He called back.

"Come on! Do your hair when we get there."

"I'm here." Derek said walking through the door that led to the bedrooms. A black valet was slung over his arm. His dark jeans hugged his thighs perfectly and his white tee shirt hugged his chest. "Lets go." He said placing a hand on the small of Meredith back and urging her forward. They walked down the stairs and out the door. Derek raised his arm to hail a taxi. When it arrived they jumped in, told the driver the address and made their way towards the Old Prince George Hotel. Addison had arranged to have hair, nail and makeup people come to the hotel for the ladies. Both the men and the women were getting ready there, in separate rooms. When the cab stopped Derek paid the man and the couple stepped out. Meredith kissed her fiancé on the cheek and set off to find Addison.

"Hey." She said opening the door to what was being used as a bridal suite.

"You're late Mer." Addison said. By her voice Meredith could tell she was overly stressed.

"Blame Derek." Meredith said putting her purse down. "What do you need done?"

"Nothing. Cristina and Naomi went to the bathroom, the beauty team will be here in a minute and the dresses are set in the corner." Addison began to hyperventilate. "I can't do this Mer."

"Yes you can." Meredith sat down next to her.

"I can't. I can't be a good wife. I don't cook or clean. I…"

"Addie, I don't cook, I don't clean, I don't do the whole lovey dovey thing. You do. You're one better than me. " Meredith laughed. "Here." She handed her a chocolate chip cookie. "I figured you might need this to calm you." Addison smiled, ate the cookie greedily, and wiped her mouth with a napkin.

"I knew there was a reason you 're my maid of honor." Addison smiled. Moments later the makeup, hair, and nail people arrived and began working on the ladies.

***

"You nervous?" Derek asked his best friend as they sat in their tuxes, awaiting the start of the wedding.

"No…yes…" He sighed.

"You'll be fine."

"I don't know…" Mark said. "Can I tell you something?"

"Sure." Derek nodded.

"Addison is a Forbes."

"What?" He asked, visibly confused.

"Like _the _Forbes. The super wealthy Forbes." Mark responded.

"Wow." Derek said. "How long have you known?"

"Not even a day. I mean she didn't even tell me that her name is really Addison Forbes-Montgomery."

"It's not a big deal." Derek shrugged.

"It's a huge deal!" Mark exclaimed. "What if I can't provide enough? What if I can't meet her family's expectations? The Montgomery's are hard enough but the freaking Forbes'!"

"She doesn't care. Addie loves you for you." He said.

"Yeah. But I mean she's so rich. And I mean the Sloans aren't poor and neither are the Shepherds, but what if her family decides I'm not good enough?"

Derek sighed. "They won't. You said her mother loved you. And her mother is a Forbes." Mark opened his mouth to protest but Derek stopped him. "You'll be fine." He said. Mark sighed.

***

Hours later the wedding parties, minus the groom, stood behind large wooden doors awaiting their entrance. Derek gave his little niece Rebecca, who was serving as the flower girl, a hug. Meredith smiled at Derek's interaction with his niece. He joined her and gave her a quick kiss after linking their arms. "You look beautiful." He whispered.

"Thanks." She smiled and leaned up to kiss his lips lightly. "You don't look so bad yourself."

"Prettier than the bride." Derek whispered in her ear.

"Shut up." Meredith giggled. The doors opened, the music started and Addison's brother Archer walked his grandparents down the isle, they took their seats. Following them was Meredith and Derek, Owen and Cristina, Naomi and Sam, and Rebecca. The music changed, the crowd stood and faced towards the back. Addison proceeded down the isle on her father's arm. Anyone could see the huge smile that appeared on Mark's face when he saw his bride walking towards him.

"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered together here in the sign of God – and in the face of this company – to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony." The minister said beginning the ceremony. "Which is commended to be honorable among all men; and therefore – is not by any – to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly – but reverently, discreetly, advisedly and solemnly." The ceremony continued on with the giving away of the bride, the vows and the exchange of rings. "And so, by the power vested in me by the State of New York and Almighty God, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." The minister finished.

Mark swooped in and kissed his bride passionately. The newly weds proceeded down the isle followed by the others. "Congratulations!" Meredith shouted hugging her friend as the big wood doors closed.

Addison smiled. "Thanks."

"Who'd ever thought Mark Sloan would get married." Derek joked, slipping an arm around his fiancé.

"Shut up." Mark laughed.

"Reception time?" Naomi asked. Addison nodded and they all ventured into another room for cocktails.

***

"Meredith!" Addison called later in that evening.

Turning to face her friend, she answered. "Yeah Addie?"

"I never introduced you to my brother, officially. This is Archer." She turned to her brother. Archer, this is Meredith."

"Hi Meredith." Archer said, obviously drunk.

"Addison!" Addison's mother called from across the room. Addison hurried over.

The music changed tempo in the back round.

"Do you want to dance with me?" Archer asked. Meredith shrugged and followed him to the dance floor. They interlocked and danced together for a while then Archer's hand slid too far down her back for Derek's, who was watching, liking. Meredith flinched and tried to move away.

"Get your hands off her." Derek growled. Archer backed up and walked away. Derek's scowl turned to a smile as he turned to Meredith. "Want to dance?" He asked. Meredith nodded and fell into his arms. Derek held her close and they lightly swayed back and forth.

"I thought you didn't dance."

Derek smiled and kissed the top of her head. . "I made an acceptation for you."


	22. Time Has Come Today

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update…writers block and I got Sims 3! It's loserish and fun! I made Meredith and Derek Sims and yeah. Anyways, this chapter has a little Huntina drama and some MerDer fluff. Yay for fluff!**

***

"Were you and Annabel going to have a big wedding?" Meredith asked, returning to the couch with popcorn she'd gone to get. It'd been a long two weeks of work and school since the wedding and they were both glad to spend some time together. She put her head on his chest and looked up at him.

"Why does it matter what I was going to do with her." He snapped.

"It doesn't. I was just wondering." She said apologetically as she scooted away. Meredith still got occasionally fearful that Annabel was a better fiancé to Derek than she was. She wanted to make him happy because he always made her happy.

Derek noticed the sadness in her eyes and sighed. "Sorry." He murmured. "We were going to have a big fancy white wedding. I didn't care. She did." He said opening his arms for Meredith. She looked up at him nervously and snuggled in to his side, pillowing into his chest. "I care what we do now because this is forever."

"Corny." Meredith mumbled. Derek tickled her sides lightly causing her to erupt into a fit of giggles. When he stopped, she put her head back on his chest and sighed. "You know what I was thinking about?" Meredith asked.

"What?" He asked, shifting her slightly in his arms.

"That day, when you called me a whore in the Hamptons…"

"Mer, I didn't mean it." He interrupted. "You're not a whore. I love you…you know that I…" Meredith pressed their lips together, effectively silencing him.

"I'm not mad Derek. I was just thinking, that was the only fight we ever had." She said thoughtfully.

"We're just that perfect." Derek smirked.

"Why did you run after me? After I yelled at you?"

He appeared shocked by this question. "You didn't think I would?"

"How was I supposed to know?" She asked.

"You've never done this before." Derek stated as a question.

"No, I've never done this before."

"Okay." He sighed. "We'll this is how it works. From now on, when we fight, you can expect that I'm going to come after you or show up later. Even if I yell, even if you yell." Derek said caressing her cheek with his thumb. "I'm always going to show up. Okay?"

"Okay." She smiled as he leaned in to kissed his lips. The doorbell began to ring repeatedly. Meredith groaned, got up to get it, and found Cristina with mascara running down her face outside. "Cristina…"

"Owen deployed." She whispered.

"What?" Meredith asked, shocked. "Come in." She dragged her best friend into the guest room, ignoring the fact that she just left Derek. "What do you mean 'Owen deployed'?"

"He…didn't even say good bye! He just left a note saying he deployed." Cristina said quietly, handing the note to her best friend.

_**Dear Cristina,**_

_**I'm sorry. I want you to know that. By the time you read this I will be deploying to Iraq as a trauma surgeon for a six-year contract. I can't explain why. Hell, I don't understand why but this is something I need to do. It was heartless to just leave like this, I know. I couldn't say goodbye though because just trying would break me and make me stay. I am doing a good thing and I hope you can forgive me one day. If you can't, I will understand. I'm sorry, I love you so much and you mean the world to me. I hope you realize that. **_

_**-Owen**_

"Cristina…" Meredith sighed and wrapped her arms around her friend. Cristina sobbed and cried. It was unusual for Cristina to cry but her heart was shattering into a million pieces. The man she loved was gone.

***

An hour later Meredith walked out of the room and to the living room. She plopped on the couch next to Derek. "She's asleep."

"What happened?" Derek asked, concerned.

"Owen deployed."

"What?"

"Owen Hunt deployed to Iraq as a trauma surgeon. He didn't say goodbye, he just left a note." Meredith said, anger laced into her voice. She handed Derek the note. He read it and sighed.

"Poor Cristina." He frowned.

"I know." Meredith looked away nervously.

"Mer, what's wrong?"

"Please don't do that to me." She whispered.

"Never."

***

"Hey." Cristina whispered walking into the kitchen a few hours later.

"Hey." Meredith smiled. "Sleep well?" Cristina shrugged. "Hungry?" Cristina shook her head no. "Cristina…"

"I'm going home." She said quietly. "I need to study."

"You should stay with us." Meredith said. Cristina shook her head 'no' and walked out the door. She sighed and put her head on the counter. Meredith felt so terrible for her friend. She knew Cristina might not be the same. Meredith knew she wouldn't be if Derek left. Even if he said goodbye. She was pulled out of her thoughts when she felt lips pressed against her head and two strong arms wrap around her waist. "Hi." She said picking her head up and resting it on Derek shoulder. Breathing him in always made her feel better. The mix of his cologne and his aftershave created a smell that was completely Derek.

"You okay?" He asked, tightening his grip on her.

"I'm okay." Meredith said quietly. "Cristina's not."

Derek sighed. "Yeah… How could Owen do that?"

"I don't know… I don't know."

"Where is Cristina?" He asked.

"She went home. She's just burying herself in study." Meredith said.

Derek sighed. "In time, she will get over it."

"That time isn't now."

***

**A/N: Important yet lame and short chapter. This writer's block man! It's killing me! Review if you want.**


	23. Cheater

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to update… I was visiting my brothers and I didn't realize they didn't have wireless Internet so I couldn't upload. Enjoy!**

***

"What happened?" Meredith yelled, running into the trauma bay.

"A tractor trailer rolled over in front of him. He tried to swerve to miss it but…" Addison trailed off. She and Dr. Webber had created a barrier so Meredith couldn't see Derek. She burst between their shoulders and ran to the window.

"Derek." She cried. "No. No. No." Meredith sobbed. He was covered in blood. Mark stood at his head, pumping the bag and an unfamiliar attending stood before him doing compressions. They shocked him. Nothing. She saw the attending's lips moving 'time of death' he said. "DEREK!" She screamed. "NO! NO! NO!"

Derek woke up when he heard Meredith screaming. "DEREK! NO! NO!" She sobbed and screamed while still asleep.

"Mer." He said, trying to shake her awake. There were tearstains on her cheek. "Mer wake up."

Her eyes jumped open. "Derek." She cried. "You're alright."

"I'm here. I'm okay, you're okay." He soothed her, pulling her into his arms. Meredith hugged his midsection tightly. "Did you have a bad dream?" Derek asked. She nodded. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head no and sat up next to him, his arms still protectively positioned around her. "Mer…"

"I'm fine Derek." She snapped, scooting out of his arms.

"Mer, you shouted for me, in your sleep. You're not okay."

"Derek!" Meredith pushed "I'm fine." She hoped out of bed and walked towards the kitchen to get coffee. Derek sighed and went after her.

"Mer, please talk to me." He pleaded.

A lone tear fell down her cheek. "I had a dream that you got in a crash and died and…" She carried off as the tears fell harder.

He closed the space between them in three steps and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest as she cried. "I'm here Mer, I'm not leaving you. Ever. I promise. I'm here for a lifetime." She wrapped her arms around his waist as he comforted her.

***

Derek walked into the cafeteria of the hospital and snagged a table in the corner for he and his fiancé. She'd opted to join him for lunch after the morning they had. Meredith said she'd bring lunch so they didn't have to eat hospital food. He looked down at his phone to text her when he heard his name being called. Derek looked up and he was looking into the brown eyes of his ex-girlfriend.

"Hi Derek." She smiled.

"What do you want Rose?" He scowled.

"I want you back Derek." Rose said.

"It's been close to a year." Derek frowned.

"So?" She shrugged. "I thought we were just taking a break."

"I broke up with you and I'm engaged now."

"To the slut?"

"Meredith is not a slut." He snapped. Rose sat in the chair next to him. "Why are you sitting?"

"Come on Dery, talk with me." She pouted. Rose put a hand on his cheek. He batted it away.

"Go away." Derek hissed through his teeth.

Rose grabbed Derek's face and pressed their lips together. He put his hands on her shoulders and tried to push her off. He didn't notice the blonde looming in the doorway of the cafeteria.

"What are you doing?" Derek asked. "GET AWAY FROM ME!" He barked.

"You know you want me Derek." Rose said seductively, reaching for his face. He swatted her hand away.

"I don't." He said surely. "I love my fiancé."

"Come on Derek. Meet me in the on call room. I'll show you how a real woman pleases a man."

"How would you know?" He asked smirking.

"Fine Derek. I'm leaving but this isn't over." She pressed their lips together and he shoved her off but not before her tongue slipped into his mouth. Rose took her bag and walked off. Derek sighed, put his head in his hands and waited for Meredith.

***

Meredith tapped her fingers repeatedly on the desk. She couldn't wait for the class to be over so that she could go meet her fiancé for lunch at the hospital. After the morning they'd had, he'd suggested it and she willingly complied. Finally, after what felt like a million years, the teacher dismissed the class. Meredith dashed out and hopped on the cross-town bus. After around twenty minutes she got off and hurried towards the hospital, after stopping for their lunch.

She walked in the door and to the cafeteria. As she walked through the doors, she saw a horrible sight. Another woman's lips on Derek's. His hands were on her shoulders. Meredith's mouth gaped open in shock. She slowly backed out of the cafeteria and dashed home without looking back. Her fiancé was cheating.

***

Around seven o'clock that evening Derek walked out of the hospital upset that he was stood up for lunch. He couldn't confront her about standing him up because he knew when he told her about Rose, there'd be an argument. He got on the bus and made his way home.

"Meredith, I'm home!" He called walking into the door. There was no response. "Mer?" Derek asked an empty apartment. It was then that he saw the sight that broke his heart, Meredith's engagement ring, on the chain with a note. She'd chosen to wear her ring on a chain because she wasn't a "ring bride". Derek picked up the ring and rolled it around in his hand. A tear escaped his eyes. He took the pink note in his hand.

_**Derek,**_

_**I saw you kissing Rose. I wouldn't think you'd do to me what Annabel did to you. Especially when I've done nothing wrong. I'm staying somewhere else. Goodbye Derek. Cristina will be by to get my things. I will always love you.**_

_**-Meredith**_

Derek collapsed in a chair and began to sob. It was over just because of a misunderstanding. _Where did she go_? He asked himself. At that moment he realized how stupid he was. Of course, Meredith would be at Cristina's house. He set down his brief case and dashed out of the house with Meredith's engagement ring in his hand. Derek wasn't giving up without a fight.

***

"How could he do this?" Meredith asked her best friend.

"80 percent of American men cheat. Then there's Owen who ditches me." Cristina replied dryly. Since Owen left Cristina had become a different person.

"I thought Derek was different." She sighed.

"Apparently not." Cristina lay down with her head on Meredith's shoulder. "We're both single women."

"Yeah." A tear fell down Meredith's cheek. A short while later there was a knock on the front door and the doorbell rung. Meredith sighed and got up to get it. She didn't bother to look through the peephole and she just opened the door. As soon as she saw whom it was she tried to shut the door but the man held it open.

"Meredith please." He pleaded.

"Go away Derek."

"Please Mer."

"No. You're cheating…you cheated on me." She exclaimed. "Why should I give you the time of day?"

"If I was cheating, you shouldn't." Derek said.

"What?"

"Let me in."

Meredith opened the door and stepped back to lean against the wall. "Talk." She commanded. "You have five minutes."

"Mer, I promise you. I'd never cheat on you. Ever." He assured her. "I was waiting for you at lunch and Rose came up and started flirting with me. And then she kissed me, I put my hands on her shoulders to shove her off and she wouldn't let go. She kissed me again and told me to meet her in an on call room but I said no." Meredith didn't make any move to leave her position. She stayed still, standing against the wall. "Please Mer."

Meredith took another look at him and nodded. She walked away leaving a puzzled Derek. When she returned she had a small bag in hand. "Lets go home." She smiled and took his hand as they walked out the door.

***

**A/N: Next chapter is cool!**


	24. Protect You

**A/N: This is random filler. I'll tell you where I got the idea in the end A/N. Can't give away what happens!**

***

As the morning sun broke through the night sky there was a huge crash in Meredith's room. She woke, startled, to find that the shelf over her bed had fallen on her head, along with the large text books that were piled on top of it. She felt her forehead. There was a large bump on the left side of her forehead between her hairline and eyebrow.

***

Derek stumbled into the apartment at around six o'clock in the morning after a twelve-hour shift. It was supposed to be fourteen hours but it was quiet so they let him off. As soon as he turned the key in the lock he heard a huge crash from the bedroom. He rushed in to see a shelf on Meredith's head, covered in books. "Mer!" He cried and ran towards the bed. "You okay?" He asked as he pushed the shelf and the books off her.

"I don't know." Meredith responded weakly.

Derek ran a hand over her forehead. "That's a big bump." He exclaimed. "Sit up for a second. I need to examine you." Derek helped her into a sitting position in which her feet were hanging off the bed. "Can you stand?" He asked. Meredith tried and took a step.

"Derek." She whimpered as her legs gave out and her eyes shut. He grabbed her and put her on the bed.

"Mer." He said forcefully. "Meredith." Derek shook her a little.

"Derek…what…"

"You passed out." He answered before she could ask. "Are you nauseous?" She nodded. "I'm going to take you to the hospital. Get a CT."

"No…unnecessary."

"Too bad." Derek helped her to her feet and into some shoes and a sweater. He also grabbed an ice pack and gave it to her to hold on her head. They walked to out of the apartment then building, Derek's arms wrapped around Meredith's waist. He hailed a cab and they got in. Once they arrived at the hospital he helped her into an exam room, put a new ice pack on her head, gave her some Advil, and called for the Chief, Dr. Steinberg, who served as his mentor. He himself was destined for neurosurgery and he knew that concussions weren't too serious but this was his fiancé. Not getting a CT wasn't an option.

"You paged Shepherd?" Dr. Steinberg asked as he entered.

"A bookshelf fell on my fiancé's head." He told the chief as he walked in.

Dr. Steinberg looked at him quizzically. "A bookshelf?" He asked as if he didn't believe him.

"Yes."

"Is that right… Meredith isn't it?" Derek's superior asked. Meredith nodded.

"It looks like just a concussion but I wanted a CT done."

"I see." Dr. Steinberg contemplated. "I'll go book a CT and be right back."

"Thank you." Derek said, taking a seat in a chair next to the exam table. "You alright Mer? You need any thing? Water, a new ice…"

"Derek, I told you, I'm fine. You didn't need to do this." Meredith answered.

"Head injuries are serious Mer." He pressed.

"Fine. There is one thing I need."

"What? I'll get you anything."

Meredith grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled their lips together. "Better. Much better."

"Meredith, this is serious."

"That was serious. I needed a kiss." She shrugged.

"Mer…"

"Derek, lighten up." Meredith told him. "I'm okay, just a little dizzy. The Advil is really helping."

Derek sighed. "Fine. I'm sorry…I just worry and…"

"I know. You're overprotective. That's one of the things I love about you." She smiled and grasped his collar again. He brought his hands to her face and they shared another kiss.

The senior doctor came back. "Shepherd, could I speak to you outside please?" The Chief asked. Derek looked at Meredith hesitantly. She nodded for him to go. Dr. Steinberg led them into a nearby conference room. "A bookshelf fell on her head?" He asked.

"Yes. I told you that already." Derek said getting slightly agitated. "Now can I go back to Meredith?"

"One more moment. Dr. Shepherd…would you ever strike your fiancé?"

"Hit Meredith?" He exclaimed. "Never. I'd never raise a hand to her! How could you think that? Meredith is my world! I'd die before I'd let anything happen to her."

"I've seen you do love her but could it have been an accident, or a slip up? Like you got mad and…" He pushed. "I mean if it was a bookshelf why didn't she block it?"

"She was asleep! There's a bookshelf over our bed with textbooks on it and it fell. When I came home from my shift I heard the crash and I rushed in to help her."

Dr. Steinberg could tell he was telling the truth. "I'm sorry Dr. Shepherd. I shouldn't have accused you."

"Damn right you shouldn't have!" Derek exclaimed. "Now, I'm going back to my fiancé and getting her down to CT."

"Of course."

***

"Can we go home now?" Meredith asked after they returned form CT.

"Yes." Derek said and kissed the top of her head. He helped her dress and walked with her to Mark's car. Mark was still on shift and told Derek he could use it. On the car ride home Meredith fell asleep and instead of waking her when they arrived he carried her. It may have looked silly on the streets of New York City but her health was all that mattered to him.

***

"Come on! When you're sick don't you watch trash TV?" Meredith asked. It was later that evening and the couple was sitting on their couch, spooning.

"No. Trash TV sucks." He responded.

"Oh come on! Bridezillas? Classic trash TV. Come on, try it." She pleaded.

Derek sighed. He could tell he wasn't winning and there was no hope. "Fine."

Meredith turned the channel and they watched together as the bride featured in the episode crushed her cake, threw flowers on the ground and tried to pierce her daughter's ears.

"Tell me you didn't think that was so trashy that it's amazing." Meredith said.

"Okay, it wasn't that bad." Derek conceded.

"You liked it." She smirked.

"Fine." He said. "We should get to sleep." Meredith nodded and they walked to their bedroom.

***

"Mer." Derek said an hour after they'd fallen asleep.

"Hm."

"Just checking." He said.

"Wha…" She said sleepily.

"That you didn't go unconscious."

"Lemme sleep." Meredith muttered almost incoherently.

"Go back to sleep." Within seconds her snore filled the room. Derek set an alarm clock for an hour later and fell back asleep.

***

"Meredith." Derek whispered into the darkness three hours later.

"What?" She snapped sleepily.

"You're still okay. Go back to sleep." He set his alarm again.

***

"Mer." Derek whispered.

"Fuck you." She responded.

"Not now." He joked. Meredith weakly elbowed him in the stomach and fell back asleep.

***

**A/N: So I'm writing this chapter from my brother's house and one of their wives was sleeping and a clothing apparatus collapsed on her head. She's fine but she had a concussion. My brothers were talking about how it looks like she got hit and the story doesn't sound true. ABUSING WOMEN ISNT FUNNY BUT IT'S FUNNY THAT SOMEONE WOULD THINK DEREK'D DO IT. **


	25. Fun and Games

**A/N: I'm back! It was pretty quick, what I had to do. I added a chapter in the beginning, fixed some dates and stuff, fixed the wedding chapter mor to my liking… now…Thanksgiving!**

***

Three weeks later Meredith and Derek lay intertwined in bed. Slowly Derek opened his eyes and realized what day it was. He began trailing kisses down Meredith's face. She groaned, signaling she was waking up. "Happy thanksgiving." Derek whispered in her ear, his hot breath sending chills down her spine.

She smiled. "Happy thanksgiving."

"Our first thanksgiving together." He smiled.

There was an awkward silence. "I'm sorry about last year's holidays." Meredith said quietly.

"I got it Mer." Derek assured her. "Last Christmas, you weren't ready to meet my family. But now, you're almost a Shepherd." He smiled. "And you get a real thanksgiving dinner with a big family that loves you…more than me."

"They do not love me more!" Meredith insisted.

"They do so. Who always gets invited to lunch? They skip right over their brother and go right for his fiancé." He laughed.

"Well…you don't have boobs." She joked. "Or a vagina…when we have lunch its 'girl time'."

"Sure…excuses."

"What do Shepherds do on thanksgiving?" Meredith asked excitedly.

"Well, we have to be there by ten. The women help my mom put the last touches on the food, the men watch football and then we eat. And after we all, minus ma and the younger ones, play football."

"Um…I can't cook or play football." She said nervously.

Derek laughed and shifted her in his arms. "Well, there isn't much cooking…it's mostly microwaving, which you're good at, and talking. It's really an excuse to get rid of the men." He told her. "And we play football with the kids so it's not too intense. We just kinda have fun with it. Trust me. You'll be fine." He paused. "Is Cristina sure she doesn't want to come? Ma won't mid."

Meredith nodded, kissed him, and got off the bed. "Where are you going?"

"Derek, it's eight o'clock and it's an hour drive to your mother's. I'm showering then getting dressed."

"Do you want some company in the shower?"

"Fine." She fake sighed and walked into the bathroom with Derek close behind her.

***

Meredith and Derek walked up to the large house hand-in-hand. Derek raised his arm to ring the doorbell and within seconds Carolyn answered the door. "Meredith! Derek!" She beamed hugging both individually. "Come in, come in!" They followed the older woman in and were greeted by a huge crowd. Hugs were spread and then Meredith was pulled into the kitchen with the other women.

"How are you Mer?" Anna asked. They'd shared a really close bond because of their ages.

"I'm really good Anna." Meredith smiled. "Hey Addie." She said hugging her friend.

"Hey Mer." Meredith, Addison, and Anna, sat and watched the others cook, being the ones who'd burn the turkey or the whole kitchen.

"So Mer, when's the wedding?" Derek's sister Catherine asked.

"Um…we don't know yet." She replied.

"Well, you need to tell us at least three months in advance so we can help you plan!" Nancy said excitedly.

"I think we might need more notice." Addison nodded.

"Oh…um…well we were actually not going to have a big um…wedding." Meredith stuttered.

"What?" Addison, Catherine, Nancy and Kathleen exclaimed simultaneously.

"Why wouldn't you want a big wedding?" Kathleen asked.

"Girls, leave her alone." Carolyn scolded.

"Yeah guys!" Anna added taking her friend's hand.

"Can you at least tell us why?" Kathleen complained.

"It's just, not us." Meredith stated simply. "We don't want the big, poufy white dress thing and what not."

Addison nodded. "I get it." The rest nodded too. They continued talking and heating up the food. About two hours later, around twelve o'clock the last plate came out of the microwave. "Good." Carolyn said. "I think we're ready."

They put all the food out and called the boys and children in. Everyone took seats next to their respective partners and Anna sat next to Meredith. Derek took Meredith's hand. "How was your cooking with the girls?" He asked her quietly.

"Good." She smiled.

"Good." He smiled back.

"Let's eat." Carolyn said from her seat at the head of the table. Everyone began to dig in.

***

"Ready to play?" Kathleen's husband Daniel called out to everyone after the dishes were cleaned, after desert.

"Yeah." Most of the bunch said simultaneously.

Derek took Meredith's hand and led her out side. "Derek, I can't play football." She whispered quietly.

"Trust me Mer. It's easy. Just run to which ever side your team tells you and don't let the other team get the ball." Meredith nodded.

"Mer, you're with us." Anna said grabbing her arm and pulling her away from Derek. "We split couples up so it's more fun." Anna walked her over to a group consisting of Nancy's husband Marcus, Catherine's husband Andrew, Kathleen's husband Daniel, Addison, one of Nancy's twins named Olivia, Catherine's son Zach and her daughter Samantha. The rest were on the other side of the yard. Carolyn sat on the porch with Kathleen's daughter Alexandra who was three and her other daughter Hallie who was almost two, and Nancy's new born daughter.

"Huddle up!" Daniel said to his team. The group huddled and made a plan.

"We need a team name." Olivia said before they broke.

"Okay." Anna said. "What about the Patriots?"

"No!" Zach exclaimed. "It can't be a real teams name!"

"What about the Monkeys?" Meredith suggested.

"Good." Andrew said. "On three we break and say monkeys, okay?" Everyone nodded. "One, two three."

"Monkeys." They shouted simultaneously. They spread and began the game. They passed back and forth, scoring touchdowns and laughing.

"Hut, Hut, Hut, HIKE!" Daniel shouted. He passed the ball to Olivia who passed it to Meredith. She ran with the ball until Derek's arms wrapped his arms around her and lifted her into the air.

"Put me down!" Meredith screeched laughing. She kicked her feet but Derek just shook his head no.

"That's cheating!" Addison accused.

"Since when?" Derek countered throwing Meredith over his shoulder and prying the football out of her hand, tossing it to a teammate. He put Meredith down.

"Cheater!" She said, smacking him in the gut. Derek shrugged, kissed her, and ran away.

***

"How was your first Shepherd thanksgiving?" Derek asked Meredith as they sat on their couch watching mindless television.

"It was really amazing." She smiled.

"I'm glad. How was football?"

"Besides you cheating?"

He looked hurt. "I didn't cheat!"

"You did so! But, football was fun." Meredith smiled and kissed him on the lips.

"Glad you liked it. My favorite part was being with you." Derek said.

She rolled her eyes. "That was just sad, how corny that was."

He shrugged. "You love it."

***

**A/N: Light and fluffy! But, I can't write light and fluffy for too long…**


	26. Do You Love Me?

**A/N: Okay, this is creepy, when I was writing this chapter the second I wrote 'Blackbird by the Beatles'; it started playing on my ipod. Creepy! Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I only wished that I owned any part of Grey's…especially Derek.**

***

After a long day of classes Meredith finally climbed the last stair to her and Derek's apartment. She heard a guitar playing from inside. She was utterly confused, not knowing that he played the guitar. Unlocking the door, she pushed it open and walked inside. Continuing through the apartment she found Derek sitting in the living room on the armrest of the couch playing the guitar…beautifully. "You play guitar?" Meredith asked, her voice a bit shaky.

"Yeah." Derek responded nonchalantly. "I have since college. Mark decided we should learn because ladies like a guy who plays guitar."

"Oh. I think it's sexy…do you want to play something for me?" Meredith smiled, the fears inside her being avoided and pushed aside.

Derek nodded and smiled. "Sit." He said beckoning her to sit beside him. "I'll play a song I know you love but, I'm not singing."

"Good." Meredith joked.

He made a face at her and began to play. She quickly recognized it as Blackbird by the Beatles. She smiled and hummed along. "I remembered you said you like that song. From our first date." He said as he finished.

"You really remembered." She said in awe.

"Of course." He smiled dreamily. Derek put the guitar down, slid on to the couch, and wrapped his arms around his fiancé. "How was class?"

Meredith sighed wrapping her arms around him. "Fine...boring. How was your shift last night?"

"Long. Didn't get any sleep. Not that I could have."

"What?" She asked a little confused about what he was saying.

"I can't sleep without you anymore." Derek admitted.

Meredith giggled. "Really?"

"Really."

Meredith hugged him tighter. "I can't sleep without you either." She admitted quietly. "I was fine until I met you. Then you and your stupid boy penis…"

"My stupid boy penis?" Derek laughed, interrupting her. "You didn't think it was so stupid last night when you were screaming 'harder Derek'." He joked.

"Shut up!" She said hitting him in the arm lightly. "What should we do tonight?" Meredith asked putting her head on his chest.

"We could go out, or just stay in, I'll cook and we can watch a movie. Which would you rather do?"

"Stay home." She nodded.

***

Meredith sat in bed later that day, reading a textbook. Suddenly a draft surged through the room she shivered and went under the bed to the small drawer containing sweatshirts. Opening it, she discovered a photo album stashed in there. After pulling one of Derek's Columbia sweatshirts over her head, climbing on the bed and sitting cross-legged Meredith opened the book. Flipping through the pictures she saw Derek as a cute little boy with bright blue eyes and dark curly hair. It made her smile. He was an adorable little boy. She continued to flip when she saw a picture of a diploma stating that he graduated elementary school…in the state of Connecticut. Meredith looked at it closely. It said he graduated from a school in Greenwich, Connecticut. She'd always thought he grew up in the city. Meredith walked into the kitchen where Derek was busy making dinner. "You lived in Connecticut?" She asked.

"Yeah. Until middle school, then we moved to New York."

"Oh," Meredith said quietly.

"Mer, you alright?" He asked moving towards her.

"I'm…fine." She nodded walking away.

Derek could see she wasn't but he wouldn't push it until later. Meredith walked back into their room and closed the door. She began to feel like this, getting married, was a mistake. It wasn't that she didn't love Derek, she did, but they knew nothing about each other. Meredith was so lost in thought that she didn't even notice Derek walking into the room until his arms snaked around her. "What are you thinking about?" He asked.

"What are we doing Derek?" She asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Why are we getting married?"

Derek looked hurt and shocked. He let go of her and walked a few paces away from the bed. "Mer…I love you…I think you love me…what is bringing this up?"

"Derek, we don't know each other, at all…. we said 'I love you' like in two months when we weren't even dating!"

"Mer, what do you mean? We know each other…"

"No Derek." She interrupted.

"What's my favorite color?" Derek asked sitting on the bed.

"Indigo but…"

"What's my favorite ice cream?" He asked raising his eyebrows.

"Coffee." She sighed.

"What's my favorite drink?"

"Single malt scotch but Derek…"

"What's my mother's maiden name?" He interrupted.

"Derek this is pointless!" She said. "We don't know anything important."

"Mer, this is important. The little things make up who we are." Derek told her, reaching out to caress her face.

Meredith batted his arm away. "I didn't know you played guitar, I didn't know you lived in Connecticut, I have no clue where you went to high school or middle school…Derek, I feel like I don't know you at all!"

Derek sighed, trying to understand what she was talking about. "I went to The Delta Honors Program for middle school. I went to Bronx Sci for high school. Then I went to NYU and Colombia."

Meredith sighed. "I guess I'm making a bigger deal about this than there needs to be."

"I'll tell you anything you want to know." Derek assured her, pulling his fiancé into his arms.

At first she tensed in his grasp but then relaxed. "I guess…I…we'll learn these things together…"

"Okay." He smiled dreamily at her and kissed the top of her head. "I do love you. I loved you the first time I told you…and before. I love you so much my world would crumble with out you."

"I'm sorry I said that. I know you love me…I never doubted it. And I love you."

"You hungry?" Derek asked, pulling her closer.

"Starved." She laughed.

"Let's eat."

"Okay." Derek kissed her cheek; they got up and walked, hand-in-hand, to the kitchen.

***

**A/N: Fluffy and angst.**


	27. First Christmas

**A/N: The beginning is a little weird but enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Sigh, still don't own Grey's…darn!**

***

"Derek, we need a car." Meredith said standing up off the couch.

"We don't need a car." He said. "We can just get a motorcycle. It's easier to park. You liked riding it."

"No!" She said quickly, a tear threatening to fall down her cheek.

"Mer, that was almost a year ago." Derek sighed. "I'm fine. It was a one time thing."

"No Derek. You…almost left me!" Meredith cried, tears falling freely down her face. "I'm not taking that risk again!"

Derek sighed, stood up, and pulled her into his arms. "Okay. No bike."

"Thank you." She said into his chest, hugging him.

"But, we don't need a car." He said, guiding her back to the couch.

"We do. How are we supposed to get to your mother's for Christmas Eve in three days? And how many times have you borrowed Mark's car? We need our own."

Derek looked at his fiancé. There was no use arguing. It was a loosing battle. "Let's go."

"Where?" Meredith asked, puzzled.

"Car shopping." He smiled.

***

Meredith stirred, hearing her name being said in her ear. She twisted and pulled the covers over her head. "Mer." Derek said a little above a whisper. He smirked to himself and began to press the wettest, most slobbery kisses that he could to her face. She groaned at him, raised her hand, and pushed his face away. "Mer, we gotta get up. It's Christmas Eve."

"Whattimeisit?" She mumbled.

"Two. We have to be at mom's at four."

Meredith groaned and pushed herself out of bed. "Stupid man keeping me up all night, waking me up early and then denying me sleep later." She grumbled making her way towards the bathroom, naked. Derek watched her with dirty in his eyes.

"You didn't protest last night or this morning!" He called after her. Raising her arm slowly, Meredith flipped him off. He chuckled to himself as she disappeared behind the bathroom door. She reached into the shower and turned it on. After adjusting it to the correct temperature she stepped in. Meredith let the hot water fall on her as she reached for the shampoo bottle. A pair of hairy arms snaked around her causing her to jump.

"I needed to shower too…thought we could save time." Derek smiled, taking her shampoo bottle, squeezing some into his hand and working through her hair. She moaned and leaned against him, feeling his erection poke her. Meredith smirked to herself, turned around, and pressed her lips to his. This sent them into the same round of activities they'd engaged in earlier that day.

***

"Stupid man." Meredith mumbled, rushing to put on her coat and bring the overnight bag to the living room.

"Why am I stupid?" He asked.

"You and your stupid boy penis made us late."

Derek chuckled to himself. "Need I remind you again, nothing that happened this morning was against your will?"

"It's still your fault." She grumbled.

"Okay." He conceded. "Come on. We get to take our first extended ride in our new car." Derek said excitedly.

"That it was my idea to buy."

"Yep." He smiled, kissing her cheek. "My genius fiancé."

***

After Christmas dinner, everyone sat in Carolyn's large living room, some of the older kids in the middle playing a board game. The younger kids, being passed from lap to lap of the adults. "Aunt Mewedith." Kathleen's four-year-old daughter Rebecca said looking up at Meredith.

"Yes Becky?" She responded, pulling the little girl on her lap.

"Do you know how to bwaid hair?" The little girl asked excitedly.

"I sure do." Meredith smiled at her.

Rebecca looked at her, excitement in her eyes. "Could you bwaid mines?"

"Sure." She smiled. "Turn around." The little girl turned to it on the edge of Meredith's lap as she began weaving her fingers in and out of the girl's dark brown locks. Derek, who was sitting beside her, watched his fiancé with complete adoration about how amazing she was with kids. "All done." Meredith said joyfully. The little girl turned in her, soon to be, aunt's lap and gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Tank you!" She said and ran to see what her hair looked like.

Derek put his arm around Meredith and kissed her on the cheek. "You're so cute with her." He said quietly to her.

"Thanks."

"Of course."

"We should put the kids to bed." Kathleen said standing up. The other parents in the room nodded and stood.

"Hey Derek." Anna said. "Remember the time you let us put make up and girls clothes on you?" She looked at Meredith and smiled.

"I did not!" Derek exclaimed. "I was six! They forced me!"

"Do you have pictures?" Meredith asked Carolyn excitedly.

"Of course." She said getting up to get the pictures.

Derek turned to his fiancé. "Mer I didn't…"

"I have to see these pictures." Addison said. She, Meredith and Anna laughed.

"You're screwed Shep." Mark laughed.

Carolyn came back with an album. "Mark, weren't you there that day too?"

"No." He said quickly.

"Yes. I think you were." Carolyn said opening to the page. "Ah look. My two pretty princes." Anna, Meredith and Addison crowded around Carolyn, pointing and laughing at the pictures. Mark and Derek sat, completely mortified that their loves were laughing at them.

"Oh Derek! You look like the prettiest princess ever!" Meredith giggled, looking back at her fiancé. Derek just frowned and crossed his arms.

"Mark is quite the pretty princess." Addison giggled, looking back at her fiancé.

"Carolyn, I definitely need a copy of this." Meredith laughed, looking at her mother in law.

"Same here." Addison said.

"Of course." Carolyn smiled.

"How did you two end up with theses two?" Anna asked jokingly, pointing to the pictures.

"They're much better looking now." Meredith nodded. Addison nodded in agreement. Carolyn closed the book and the women walked back to the couches. Derek's arms were crossed and his mouth was stuck in a frown. "This was just the ego lowering you needed." Meredith said plopping down next to him, putting her head on his chest.

"It's embarrassing." He said quietly.

"I don't love you any less." She shrugged, kissing him on the lips.

Derek sighed. "Fine." Untangling his crossed arms, he put one around Meredith's shoulder. "We should go to bed." He said into her hair, kissing the top of her head.

"Yeah." They stood up. "Good night everyone."

"Good night." They replied simultaneously. Meredith and Derek climbed the stairs to Derek's childhood room, awaiting Christmas morning.

***

Meredith's eyes shot open. Looking at the clock she noticed that it was only six forty five. She carefully made her way out of Derek's embrace so not to wake him. Meredith picked Derek's Columbia sweatshirt up off the floor and slipped it over her head. Noticing a new picture on Derek's desk she made her way over to it. It was a picture of them, Meredith's head resting on Derek's shoulder with a small birthday crown, from central park on her birthday. She picked up the picture and smiled. They were almost always so happy. Sometimes she felt like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. It never did. She placed the photo back in its place with pictures of Derek and his family and friends. The fact that he'd put that picture there reassured her that she fit into his life. Meredith jumped when two arms snaked around her waist. "Merry Christmas." Derek said into her hair.

"Merry Christmas." She said relaxing into his embrace.

"What were you thinking about?"

"Just how happy we are." Meredith said with a smile.

"Yeah." Derek said. "Do you want to go downstairs?"

"Okay." They walked downstairs and were greeted by the entire Shepherd family.

"Merry Christmas." They said simultaneously.

"Merry Christmas." Meredith and Derek repeated.

"PRESENTS!" Derek's nephew Cody shouted excitedly. Carolyn nodded and the kids began digging for presents. The adults waited until the kids were situated, playing with new toys before opening their presents.

"Here Mer." Derek said handing her a thin large box. She opened it, revealing a photo album that she knew was made on the Kodak website. On the front page there was a picture of her and Derek. She flipped through the book and found tons of pictures taken in the time they'd been together. Meredith smiled and looked at her fiancé.

"Thank you." She whispered, kissing him firmly on the lips. Meredith reached under her feet, pulled out a box and handed it to Derek. He proceeded to open it and take out the contents.

"Mer." He said smiling. "You got me ferry boat scrub caps."

She nodded. "I know you have a thing for them and I thought you should have a special scrub cap.

"Thank you." Derek marveled. He pressed his lips to hers. "I love you."

"I love you too."

***

**A/N: Cheezy ending!**


	28. Mother

**A/N: Sorry it took a while. I started high school.**

***

Meredith sighed and plopped down on the couch next to her best friend. "How was Christmas with your parents?" She asked.

Cristina sighed. "Fine. My mom is upholstering the living room again. My step dad is doing well." She nodded. "How was your first Christmas with the Shepherds?"

"It was really good." She smiled brightly.

"She asked about him." Cristina said quietly.

"Who…" Meredith realized who she was talking about. "Oh. I'm…"

"It's okay. I'm good. I'm doing better."

"Cristina…"

"Really, I am."

Meredith sat and thought for a minute. Her best friend was so broken and upset. She didn't know how to talk to her about it. "Let's get away." She suggested.

"Meredith what are you talking about?"

"Let's go." Meredith said excitedly. "We'll go, just the two of us. We still have three weeks left of break. We can get on a plane and just fly somewhere warm."

"No." Cristina shook her head. "I have to study and…"

"No Cristina. You want to mope. And, I can't let you."

"Don't even try to pretend this isn't what you'd be doing if Derek left you." Cristina said loudly. "No wait, I'm sorry, you'd be at the bar drinking and having sex with inappropriate guys!" Her expression softened. "I have to go study." She said quietly, getting up from the couch and leaving the apartment. Meredith sighed and lay back on the couch. Cristina was right. She knew if Derek left her she'd be under the bar. Right now, Meredith realized, Cristina needed to mope. She hardly noticed when her phone started to ring.

"Hello?"

"_Ms. Grey, Dr. Grey will be in New York City this afternoon and requires your presence at lunch." _Ellis Grey's secretary, Lucile Barnes, said. _"Meet her at the Four Seasons at two o'clock."_ Meredith opened her mouth to protest. _"Good bye Ms. Grey."_ Lucile said and hung up the phone.

Meredith sighed and put her head back. Lunch with her mother was never a good sign. Dialing Derek's number she sighed nervously_. "Hello?"_ He answered.

"Hey, what time are you off today?"

"_Three, why?"_

"Can you ask the chief if you can get off an hour and a half early?" She asked nervously.

"_Why? What's going on Mer?"_ Derek asked, his protective side kicking in.

"My mother called. She wants to meet me for lunch at two."

"_And you want me to come?"_

"If you don't want to…I can go…I'll deal…"

"_Mer." _He interrupted. _"I'll be there. I'll be home at one."_

Meredith let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you." She said quietly.

"_Of course Mer. I got to go talk to the chief. I'll talk to you later. "_

"Bye Der."

"_Bye Mer."_ Derek hung up the phone. Throwing the phone on the couch next to her, Meredith sighed. She wasn't looking forward to the day ahead of her.

***

"Chief!" Derek called out chasing after his superior.

The older doctor turned around to face his subordinate. "What can I do for you Dr. Shepherd?"

"I need to leave at one." He said, panting a little from his search for the doctor.

"Why?"

"Um…" Derek thought up an excuse. "Family emergency."

"What kind?"

"My mother-in-law to be Sir, she said it was urgent."

"Ellis Grey?" Dr. Steinberg asked.

"Yes." He nodded

"Oh well, go ahead. If she says it's urgent it must be."

"Thank you." Derek nodded and cantered off.

***

"Mer?" Derek called out walking into the apartment.

"Bedroom!" A faint voice called back. Walking into the bedroom, he saw Meredith holding outfits in front of her by the mirror.

Derek leaned against the door and smiled at her. "Meredith. Calm down." Stepping into the room he put his hands on her arms. "You'll be fine." He kissed the top of her head.

She sighed, got out of his grasp, took one of the outfits and proceeded to the bathroom.

***

Entering the Four Seasons at precisely two o'clock, hands intertwined, Meredith and Derek scanned the room for Ellis Grey. She sat at a table in the corner of the room. Making eye contact with Meredith, she beckoned her towards the table. Derek followed his fiancé as she led him to her mother's table. "Hello Meredith." Ellis said as they approached the table.

"Mom." She nodded.

She then turned her attention to Derek. "How are you Darrel?"

"It's Derek." Meredith said though her teeth, pulling him into a chair next to hers.

"It's okay Mer." He whispered to her. "Very well, how are you Dr. Grey?" Derek replied, keeping Meredith's hand in his.

"Fine thank you."

"Why are we here mother?" Meredith asked curtly.

"Because I'm in town for a conference."

"Excuse me." Derek said. "I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?" She, Meredith, asked desperately.

"Bathroom." He smiled and kissed her on the cheek.

Once he was out of hearing range Ellis spoke up. "Why are you with him?"

"Excuse me?" She responded.

"He's using you."

"What are you talking about?"

Ellis looked at her daughter. "Meredith. I raised you to be smarter than this. Why would a handsome talented young man such as Derek be with an ordinary college student instead of a beautiful grown woman?"

"Derek loves me." Meredith growled through clenched teeth.

Ignoring that comment, Ellis continued her tirade. "And anyways, he's your first relationship. Don't you want to explore more options?"

"Derek is the only option I am open to."

"Think is all I'm saying." Ellis whispered as Derek reproached the table.

"Hi." He said kissing her cheek and sitting beside her. They continued lunch with awkward small talk.

"Let me run to the rest room before we leave." Meredith said, excusing herself from the table.

Ellis nodded and as soon as Meredith was out of ear shot she turned to Derek. "Stay away from my daughter."

"Excuse me?" Derek asked, shocked.

"You're no good for her." She said flatly. "You're holding her back. Meredith has potential to be an excellent surgeon. Not some house wife piece of candy."

"I…I…"

"Stop stuttering. Surgeons don't stutter. Back to my point, get away. She won't be a good wife anyway. You don't want her." Ellis stood from her chair. "Tell her I say good bye." She walked towards then out the door of the restaurant. Derek sat in shock. He couldn't leave Meredith… but was it best for her? He sighed. When Meredith returned to the table she and Derek walked silently outside and made their way home with out a word.

***

Meredith woke up the next morning to an empty bed. She rolled over to see a piece of paper sitting on Derek's pillow. Opening the folds, she began to read.

_**Meredith,**_

_**I am sorry. I had to leave. I'm not coming back. Hopefully in the future you'll forgive me for what I've done. It was for the best.**_

_**-Derek**_

***

**A/N: Okay, broke my own heart writing the end there but… it had to be done. They wouldn't be MerDer if they didn't break up right?**


	29. For The Best

**Disclaimer: Don't own Grey's Anatomy.**

***

_**Meredith,**_

_**I am sorry. I had to leave. I'm not coming back. Hopefully in the future you'll forgive me for what I've done. It was for the best.**_

_**-Derek**_

After three times, the note didn't get any better. Meredith just fell to the floor and sobbed. Derek was gone. Just like Owen. He'd promised he wouldn't leave. He left. He left her all alone for no reason. Had he decided she wasn't good enough? Did she do something wrong? Meredith needed to not be alone. She worked up the energy to get the phone and dial a number. "Hello?" She sniffled.

"_Mer?"_

"Cristina… I need… I'm sorry I pushed you… but I don't want to be alone right now. I need… I need…" Meredith said trying to hold back tears.

"_I'll be right over."_ Cristina replied, hanging up the phone. Meredith got up and walked towards the closet. Opening the door she noticed all of Derek's clothes were gone. Tears fell harder down her cheeks. Walking over to the dresser she feared the same result. When nothing of his was in the dresser Meredith fell to the floor, racked with sobs. From the floor she spotted Derek's Colombia sweatshirt under the bed. She reached for it, clutching the material between her hands. Sobs racked her whole body. The tears were probably ruining the last thing of hers that smelled like Derek but she didn't care.

_And it takes more time than I've ever had,  
Drains the life from me, makes me want to forget.  
As young as I was, I felt older back then,  
More disciplined, stronger and certain._

An hour later Meredith was still sitting on the floor clutching the sweatshirt when she heard the door open. "Meredith!" Cristina called. "I have booze!" Meredith didn't respond she just continued to sob. Cristina heard the crying and rushed into the bedroom with the bottles of tequila. "Mer. What happened?" She sighed, seeing her friend on the floor clutching a piece of paper and a sweatshirt. She shrunk down next to her person. Handing her the letter, Meredith sobbed harder. Cristina read the letter and gasped. She didn't think Derek was capable of breaking Meredith. But he did. Securing her arm around her friend she allowed her to cry into her shoulder.

After about twenty minutes Meredith sat up. "Where's the tequila?" She rasped.

Cristina reached for and opened a bottle. She poured shots for both of them. "To bastards." She raised her glass.

"To bastards." Meredith repeated.

***

"Should we talk to him?" Addison whispered to Mark as they stood behind the door of their guest room.

"I don't think so. We should leave him be." Mark responded to his wife. The door opened.

"Guys, thanks for letting me stay here but, I'm fine. I did the right thing." Derek forced a smile. Both of his friends didn't believe him. They could see the redness in his eyes. They could see his hair had none of its regular product and was taking an odd form.

"Okay." Addison said, letting him believe she believed him and kissing Derek on the cheek and pulling her husband away. Derek shut the door and resumed crying. Finding the Colombia shirt that Meredith had previously taken as hers, he brought it to her face and breathed it in. It smelled like her, lavender. Derek realized it was the right thing to do for Meredith's future, he was dead weight for her. He was completely torn up and dying inside but, it was what was best for her. She mattered more to him than his own life. Derek would do anything to make her happy. She might be upset like he was but she'd get over it and find someone more deserving. Someone who wouldn't hold her back. It's for the best. It's for the best. It's for the best.

_But I was scared to death of eternity,  
I was saved by grace and destroyed by naivety.  
And I lied to myself and said it was for the best_

***

Slowly opening her eyes, Meredith groaned. Her head hurt, a lot. She reached to the other side of the bed for Derek, but found it empty. Remembering what happened Meredith began to cry. She looked over to the alarm clock and realized she'd be late for class. Derek wouldn't like that. _Why should I please Derek though?_ She thought. _He's gone. _She got out of bed, with red, bloodshot eyes and headed for class.

***

Derek put his lab coat in his cubby and turned to sit on the bench. He sighed. It'd been the hardest day of his life. Faking happiness, putting on smiled for his patients and friends. The door to the locker room opened. Derek didn't bother to look up to see who it was. The person sat next to Derek sighed. "What do you want Mark?"

"Derek, why did you do this? Just answer me. You're obviously torn up about this. You two were so gooey and mushy… what happened?" Mark asked.

"I… I don't want to hold her back. I'm just dead weight. I'm no good for her."

"Bull. Shit." Mark spat.

_  
_"Excuse me?" Derek asked, confused.

"Bullshit Derek. You don't even believe anything you just said. You need her. And you, you're the best thing that ever happened to that girl." Mark sighed. "She's like me. The Shepherds pretty much adopted me. I had no one. Meredith had no one. Her dad was gone and Dr. Grey was no great mother. Derek, by leaving her you made her loose the only family she's ever known. You've destroyed her." He dashed out of the room, leaving Derek to stir.

_  
And now faith is replaced with a logic so cold,  
I've disregarded what I was now that I'm older.  
And I know much more than I did back then,  
But the more I learn the more I can't understand.  
And I've become content with this life that I lead  
Where I drink too much and don't believe in much of anything  
And I lie to myself, and say it's for the best_

***

**A/N: Yes. Short. I know. But, I have plans and this chapter just seemed done. Oh and to all of my viewers, thanks! You inspire me constantly. **


	30. She Loves You

**A/N: 30 chapters… wow. Oh and if you've noticed, the most dramatic chapters have songs… starting last chapter.**

**Song: She Loves You by The Beatles**

***

Meredith woke up with books surrounding her, again. I'd been like that for the past three months, since Derek had left. She and Cristina would sit and study and sleep. That was all. No alcohol, no boys, no fun. Meredith knew she should move on, that she should forget Derek Shepherd, but she couldn't. She hadn't even given back Derek's mother's ring or the necklace he'd given her for their six month anniversary. They were hers. He'd given them to her. But she knew she should give them back. A small part of her was holding on to hope that one day she'd wear them again.

***

_  
She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah  
She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah  
She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah  
_  
"Hey." Addison said sitting next to her friend at a bar.

"Hi Addie." Derek smiled sadly. She noticed his eyes hadn't sparkled in months like they did when he was truly happy. The usual perfectly quaffed curls that sat on his head were lifeless and flat on his face and there was a grey streak in the back. His clothes were ruffled and wrinkled.

"How are you? I haven't seen you out in a while." She said waving to the bar tender for a beer.

"Yeah." He responded, avoiding the question of how he was. The truth was, he was horrible and dying. Ever since he left Meredith he'd been cooped up in the long stay hotel room he'd gotten. He didn't fix his hair or try to look presentable. All he did was go to work and go "home". No home was home without Meredith.

_  
You think you lost your love,  
Well, I saw her yesterday.  
It's you she's thinking of  
And she told me what to say._

"I had lunch with Mer yesterday." She admitted. Picking up the beer she'd ordered and taking a gulp.

"Oh." Derek said, holding back a sob. "How is she?"

"Not good at all." Addison said flatly. "She can't move on… she wants you to have these."

Addison opened a pouch and pulled out the necklace and the ring. Derek bit back a sob and took the jewelry items. "Okay." He put the items back in the pouch and in his pocket. Derek took another swig of his scotch hoping it'd ease his pain. He'd hoped that she'd moved on. Minus a small part of him saying otherwise.

_  
She says she loves you  
And you know that can't be bad.  
Yes, she loves you  
And you know you should be glad._

"She said that she still loves you." She whispered.

"I love her too. So much." Derek admitted softly._  
_

_She said you hurt her so  
She almost lost her mind.  
But now she said she knows  
You're not the hurting kind._

"She… she said that you broke her_._" Derek looked ashamed. "I think she's confused. She doesn't know what she did to deserve what you did to her. I… don't think she'll ever be the same. Derek…"

"I messed up." Derek said softly, toying with the drink in front of him. "I'm so stupid."__

YOU KNOW it's up to you,  
I think it's only fair,  
Pride can hurt you, too,  
Apologize to her  


"Apologize then. Make her see that you're sorry. You two were so in love it's sickening. Like disgusting. Please Derek, put you both out of your miseries."

"I… can't."__

Because she loves you  
And you know that can't be bad.  
Yes, she loves you  
And you know you should be glad. Ooh!  


"Derek she loves you. She'll take you back. It might take a while to get back to where you were but, you'll get there."

"I know. I fucked up big time." Addison nodded in agreement. "I hurt us both."

"Can I ask what happened?"

They sat in silence. Derek was afraid to speak, knowing that his friend would just call him stupid or idiotic. "I… Ellis Grey put all these ideas in my head. Ideas… that I now realize aren't true. She said I was bad for Meredith. That I was holding her back." Derek said sadly.

"Oh Derek… you're an idiot."

"I know." He laughed half heartedly. They sat in silence again. Suddenly, Derek stood up from the bar stool.

"Where are you going?" Addison asked.

"To get my Meredith back."

***

**A/N: Yes another short update but, I wanted to have three separate updates for this story line. Oh and yeah… to my worried reviewers, I love MerDer too much to keep them apart.**


	31. My Life Would Suck Without You

**A/N: Song: My Life Would Suck Without You- Kelly Clarkson **

***

"Mark I don't care how you do it." Derek told his best friend over the phone. "Kiddnapp her or something. But, get her here."

"_Okay. I got you."_

"And Mark?"

"_Yeah?"_

"Thanks."

"_Of course."_

Derek stood proudly by his creation. If it didn't get Meredith back, nothing would.

***

Mark banged on the door to Meredith's apartment. Within a minute she answered. "What do you want Mark?" She asked. Instead of responding, Mark picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. "Mark!" She screeched. "Put me down!" She pounded on his back repeatedly as he carried her down the stairs. He nodded to the doorman who recognized him and continued out to his car. After securing Meredith in the passengers seat he jumped into the drivers side. "You kidnapped me."

"Yep." He responded.

"And you probably wont tell me where we're going?"

"Nope."

"Are you a cereal killer on the side?"

"Nope." Mark laughed. "Mer, why don't you just shut up and enjoy the ride." She grumbled something incoherently. "Oh yeah. Put this on." He said handing her a blindfold.

"Why?"

"Just do it." Meredith sighed and put the blind fold over her eyes. Within minutes the car stopped. Meredith heard Mark's seatbelt unbuckle and his car door open and shut. Mark walked around to her side of the car and open the door. She undid her seatbelt and Mark helped her out. He guided her to a building, opened the door, pushed her gently inside and whispered "take the blind fold off", before exiting. Meredith reached for her face and grabbed the piece of cloth. When it was off she stared in awe at the scene in front of her. The stage of the lecture she'd first met Derek in was covered in framed pictures of them. Probably every picture they'd ever taken together. In the back, a projection screen with a slide show of their time together. And, in the middle, Derek standing behind the podium where she first saw him. His perfect curls were long and flat to his head, he had almost a full beard, and his eyes didn't sparkle. He smiled sadly at her and beconed her to the front. Walking quickly she closed the distance between them. Derek took her hand and helped her on to the stage.

"I'm sorry." He started. "I just wanted to tell you... But now all I want to tell you is that I love with you. I've been in love with you forever. And now you have a choice to make. I want you to take all the time you need, I don't want to rush you, but I love you. Just take your time. Because when we were totally fine I made a choice and... messed everything up. I just want your forgiveness."

_Guess this means you're sorry  
You're standing at my door  
Guess this means you take back  
All you said before  
Like how much you wanted  
Anyone but me  
Said you'd never come back  
But here you are again  
_

Meredith let a few tears fall down her face. "You're sorry." She laughed. "You just get me kidnapped and dragged here to tell me that. After three months you're sorry. You…you told me you'd never come back. That it was for the best. But Derek you hurt me a lot. You did what you promised you said you wouldn't do… you left, just like Owen." Derek felt a dagger go though his heart. He remembered his promise and how he broke it.

_'Cause we belong together now, yeah  
Forever united here somehow, yeah  
You got a piece of me  
And honestly,  
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you  
_

"I'm sorry. I didn't make the connection. I hurt you. I know. But you're a part of who I am. I do… I need you. And honestly." Derek laughed. "My life sucks without you."

Meredith stood, not replying. She was at a loss for words. "I… why? Why'd you leave."

_Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye  
Maybe I was wrong for tryin' to pick a fight  
I know that I've got issues _

_But you're pretty messed up too  
Either way, I found out I'm nothing without you _

"I… it was stupid. You're mother said I was holding you back and that I was no good for you. And… I wanted you to succeed and have a good life. I messed up." A lone tear fell down his face. "But, I found out… I'm nothing without you."

"Here's the thing…" Meredith said. "I'm still mad at you and I don't know if I trust you, I wanna trust you, but I don't know if I do. So I'm just gonna try, I'm gonna try and trust you. Because I believe that, we can be extraordinary together. rather than ordinary apart and I wanna be… extraordinary."

"I… I want that too. Please Mer, take me back."

_'Cause we belong together now, yeah  
Forever united here somehow, yeah  
You got a piece of me  
And honestly,  
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you  
_

Meredith nodded and took his face in her hands. She pressed their lips together and deepened the kiss by slipping her arms around his neck. "I love you Derek."

"I love you too." Derek cried getting a tight grip on her. "I swear, I'll never leave you again. I really promise." He kissed her head and let go. Getting down on one knee he pulled out a ring. "Marry me." He said.

"No."

Derek looked at her in shock. "Why?" He asked getting off the floor.

"Derek, I don't trust you yet… I will… eventually. But not yet. I want to get back to that before I say yes." Derek nodded and kissed her lips. "You need to shave." She giggled.

"Well now that I have my Meredith back, and I'm actually kissing someone, I will."

"You didn't… you were single the whole time we were apart?" Meredith asked hopefully.

"Of course! Did you…"

"No… I just didn't know… you broke up with me and…" Derek silenced her by pressing their lips together.

"I have hardly slept in three months." Derek admitted softly.

"Me too. You ruined me Derek Shepherd." She laughed.

He smiled. "Do you want to clean this up and go to sleep?"

Meredith nodded. "This is…amazing Derek. Thank you."

"It's my apology."

"It's a nice one."

"But Mer, I… I'm going to spend forever trying to make this up to you."

"You… just let me be able to trust you." She told him. Putting her hands on his face. He nodded and they kissed once more. They began to gather all the pictures, stopping to look at them once in a while. Both parts of the couple finally smiled for real.

***

**A/N: They're back…kinda. **


	32. Breaking Barriers

**A/N: I can probably hardly update weekly because of my CRAZY schedule… I'll try!**

***

Derek looked down at the small blonde, awkwardly positioned on his arm. They'd never been awkward before, ever. Now, instead of her usual position, curled under his arm with his arms wrapped around her, she lay flat on her back on top of his out stretched arm. It seemed that the happiness they'd found the night before was gone. "Do you want to come over to the hotel with me so I can get my stuff?" He quietly asked. "You don't have to."

She hesitated before responding. "Sure." Meredith said with a nod of her head although she didn't look at him.

Derek could sense her hesitation. "Are you comfortable with me moving back in?"

"Yes…. I… yeah… it isn't… yeah. I'm glad." She forced a smile at her…boyfriend. It wasn't that she didn't want him back but just fear that he'd just leave again. Meredith sat up quickly. "I'm going to take a shower." Derek nodded and sat up to kiss her lips. Forcing a smile at him she walked towards the bathroom. Just as Meredith closed the bathroom and Derek heard the shower start, the doorbell rung. Yawning, Derek walked towards the door and opened it.

"What are you doing here?" The woman at the door asked angrily.

"I… we're back together." He answered.

Cristina laughed. "She actually took you back?" Derek nodded. "Idiot."

"I'm sorry that her taking me back upsets you."

"It doesn't upset me." She huffed. "But I swear, if you hurt her again, I am going to come after you. I look small but I can take you."

"I realize this." Derek admitted.

They stood in an awkward silence for a moment until Cristina started to sob. "Damn it." She cried. "This isn't fair!" Derek stood, unsure of what to do. Cristina was always so strong. She never cried. Against his better judgment he pulled her into his arms. She pounded her fists against his chest until she tired and gave in. "Why? Why do I get the bad one and Meredith gets a freaking knight in shining whatever?" Derek sighed he had no clue what to say to her. Just then Meredith walked out to the foyer.

"What the hell did you do?!" She screeched at Derek.

"Nothing!" He said back. Meredith scowled at him and shoved him away from her best friend, replacing his arms. Derek saunterd into the bedroom dejectedly. He wondered if they'd ever be right again. If he'd ever be able to hold her like he used to. Deciding that it was a good time to shower, Derek walked towards the bathroom and looked in the mirror. The man looking back at him wasn't who he wanted to be. This man had a fuzzy dark brown beard, bags under his eyes, that didn't sparkle, and flat unruly curls. He figured to get his relationship back where it was supposed to be he had to get him self back there too. He needed to be the Derek Shepherd who was strong and always there for everyone. Before stepping in the shower, he shaved the large beard off his face. After showering he spent his, what used to be, normal ten minutes perfecting his hair. The bags under his eyes had gone away thanks to the shower and the coffee he'd drank earlier. All that was left was the sparkle in his eyes that wouldn't reappear until he and Meredith were back to normal. Stepping out of the bathroom he quickly dressed and flopped down on the bed, one arm covering his eyes and one leg bent at the knee. Unsure of how long he lay there, Derek felt a small hand on his knee.

"Derek." She said quietly from her seated spot at the edge of the bed by his knee.

He uncovered his eyes to look up at the love of his life. "Hi." Derek said coolly.

"Sorry I snapped at you… and accused you."

"It's okay." He sighed.

Meredith frowned. "It's not."

"Okay it's not."

Meredith sighed, figuring she should tell him why this was so hard. "I… when I was in high school, this guy, Morgan, asked me to prom despite my pink hair. He said he liked it. We were kind of boyfriend and girlfriend." Meredith smiled slightly. "But, when he came to pick me up my mom said something to him and he stood me up. For the rest of the year at school he avoided me and I felt more alone than ever… he was my last real boyfriend." She explained, tears being brought up in her eyes. "I just thought… you were better than that. That you'd ignore Ellis Grey." Derek reached for her hand but she pulled away. "It seems that nobody ignores Ellis Grey." She whispered.

"I…I'm so sorry Mer." Derek said sadly, sitting up against the headboard. "I thought… I was holding you back. That I was slowing you down, that I was no good for you… I told you all of this last night but I need you to understand why I left. I just want you to be happy."

"Why did you come back?" She asked.

"Addie and Mark helped me see that you really were unhappy without me. They said if I didn't get you back it'd ruin you." He said truthfully. "Some of it was purely selfish." Derek admitted. "I was sleep walking with out you."

They sat silently for moments until Meredith smiled at him. "Can I have my necklace back?" She asked referring to the one he'd given to her on their six-month anniversary. Derek smiled, knowing that he'd just broken though one of the barriers he needed to, to be able to regain her trust. He took the necklace out of the draw it was in and clipped it around her neck. She smiled at him again and opened her arms to him. Derek pulled her into an embrace. Meredith felt safe in his arms, a type of safety that she only felt in that spot.

"Should we go get my stuff?" He asked hopefully, breaking the embrace.

"Definitely." There was a pause in the room.

"Is there something else Mer?" He asked cautiously.

"Ithinkweshouldhavesex." She blurted.

"What?" Derek asked.

"I think we should have sex." Meredith repeated, watching his face gauging his response.

"Okay." He nodded.

"Okay we should have sex?"

"Yeah. I… we're a little awkward. Sex will be good."

"Thank god!" Meredith sighed. "I'm so horny" She exclaimed. Derek laughed. "Sorry, that didn't come out right."

"No. It did." He assured her. "I feel the same. No sex for three months can do that to you." Derek laughed, making her laugh too.

"Thank god. Lets go get your stuff."

"Okay." He smiled, kissing her lips lightly.

***

**A/N: Wooh. That only took forever!**


	33. Trust

**A/N: Hi people! How are you all? I'm trying as hard as I can to update. This is just a filler; I've got nothing to write. Oh and just so you know, I'm in 9****th**** grade. I don't write sex.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters… if I owned the show you'd probably only see MerDer.**

***

"Go on a date with me." Derek said, walking up to Meredith, clad in sweat pants and a tank top with her hair in a messy ponytail. She sat, her legs crossed with a textbook in her lap and a highlighter in her hand. Since they'd gotten back together a month before, Derek did everything he could to help her trust him from just holding her or making sure to call her if he was working late. It was a miracle that they were getting back to normal and he wouldn't let anything mess it up ever again.

"I have to study." She said not looking up from her textbook. "My last final is tomorrow morning. Then I'm all yours for the summer."

"Please?" He begged. "You've been studying for days. You're going to do fine. Amazing even, I promise."

"I have to study." Meredith almost whined as she highlighted another section.

"You need to eat. Passing out isn't going to help you study." He joked.

Meredith sighed. "Fine. Give me fifteen minutes."

"For what?"

"I need time. I need to change… put on makeup…" Derek just shook his head at her. "What?"

"Mer, its me." He reminded her. "You don't need to change or put on makeup. You look beautiful as it is."

She blushed. "No I don't."

"Yes. You do." Derek smiled and kissed her lips. "Now come on!" He said, grabbing her arm and forcing her off the bed, letting the book clatter to the floor. Slipping an arm around her waist he grabbed a pair of Old Navy flip flops that sat on the floor in front of him, not releasing his grip on Meredith's waist. He pulled her, shoeless, out the door of the apartment.

"Derek!" She laughed. "Give me my shoes!" Dropping her shoes, he waited impatiently as she slipped one foot into each. "Where are we going?"

"Do you trust me?" He asked, letting his grip on her go.

"I…on…the…"

"On me taking you somewhere. I know you're not ready to really trust. I deserve it." Derek stated sadly.

"Soon." She promised.

"Come on." He said, changing the mood. Grabbing her hand and dragging her along, he walked down the stairs.

"Where are we going?" Meredith asked again, laughing.

"I don't know." Derek stated shrugging his shoulders.

Meredith gave up and just walked along side her boyfriend. He'd been nothing but amazing since they'd gotten back together. It was then that she realized that she actually trusted him again. They were back to normal, if anything, better.

"How does pizza sound?" Derek asked.

"Sal and Carmines?" Meredith asked excitedly, referring to the place they'd had their first 'date'.

"Of course." He responded smiling. They walked up to the restaurant, ordered their pizzas and said at a table in the back.

"I trust you." She said quietly.

"W-what?" He stammered shocked at the sudden break through.

"I trust you Derek." Meredith repeated smiling.

He smiled and took a small velvet box out of his pocket. Not bothering to open it, he slid it across the table. "I did the romantic sappy proposal last time and you called me corny. So, I'm not going to do it again. All I'm going to say is I love you. So, marry me Meredith."

"Yes."

Derek smiled and leaned across the table to kiss her. "You know, engaged sex is so much better than not engaged sex."

"Well I say we test that theory Dr. Shepherd."

"I agree Ms. Grey."

***

Putting down her pencil, Meredith let out a quiet sigh. Her last final of her junior year in college. Walking out of the classroom, she handed her teacher her test, said goodbye and proceeded out the door. Before beginning her walk to the subway she noticed a tall brown haired man with bright blue eyes leaning against a light post talking to a peppy blonde girl who was obviously flirting with him. Meredith's eyes narrowed as she walked over to him. Catching Meredith's glance Derek's eyes lit up. "Honey! What are you doing here?" Meredith exclaimed, her smile wide and her voice peppy as she proceeded to grab Derek's face and kiss him. The other blonde frowned.

"Just picking up my sugar." He smiled at her, his eyes silently thanking her for saving him.

"You have a girlfriend?" The blonde asked.

"Fiancé." Meredith corrected. "I'm Meredith." She said extending her hand.

"Ali." The blonde said taking her hand.

"Nice to meet you Ali." Meredith smiled, turning to Derek and resting a hand on her abdomen. "Honey, we should go. Baby's hungry for nachos."

"Okay babe." Derek smiled. "It was nice to meet you Ali but my baby and my babe are hungry so I have to take care of that." He said kissing Meredith once again.

"You're pregnant?" Ali asked Meredith.

"Yeah." She responded smiling.

"Oh."

"Bye Ali." Meredith said, leading Derek away. As soon as they turned a corner Meredith broke out laughing. "Ali?" She laughed. "She can't be more than a sophomore, in high school!" Derek cracked a smile. "What did she say to you before I showed up?"

"She was flirting with me." Derek admitted. "She probably though I was hot, like you, and every other woman ever, do." He smirked, earning himself a smack in the gut from Meredith. "If she'd let me get a word in edgewise I'd have told her I was very happily engaged. Even though my fiancé is abusive." Smiling, he looked over at Meredith. "So how's my baby doing?" He asked jokingly.

"It's the first thing I could think of!" She defended herself. "Her peppiness was infiltrating my brain!" Derek laughed at the statement. "I knew it'd get her to can it and let us go away."

As they kept walking Derek tried to figure out the best way to ask the question that was stuck on his mind. "Do you want kids?" He asked softly. "Not right now, but ever?"

"No." Meredith replied softly. "I don't know. I love kids but I'd be a terrible mother."

"Mer, you'd be an amazing mother." He assured her as they walked through the turnstile of the subway station. "You're great with kids."

"I didn't have a role model."

"But you're different than your mother." Derek smiled, taking her hand. "We don't need to decide now. We have years. Okay?" He said giving her his trademark 'McDreamy' smile.

"Okay." She replied as they got on the train. She knew Derek would make an amazing father and she just hoped she could give him the kids he wanted.

***

**A/N: As I said, just a filler. Review please!**


	34. 99 Problems

**A/N: Okay including this chapter there will be exactly 17 chapters left in this fic including this one… then back to Life In Disguise! Oh and sorry about the delay…it was really hard to write AND high school is trying to kill me.**

***

Meredith looked at the letters in her hand, Dartmouth University, University of Washington, Johns Hopkins. All amazing medical programs, all not in New York, all acceptances. She's already gotten accepted into NYU and Columbia. But, they were all amazing. It's not that she wanted to leave Derek it was just an opportunity to think about. She hadn't told Derek anything about applying to any of the three. He'd asked but she avoided the subject or turned it around.

Since they'd gotten back together four months before, so much had happened. They'd grown as a couple, two of Derek's sisters had gotten pregnant, and they'd started making as much time for each other as possible.

Eyeing the letters once again she threw her head back and sunk deeper into the chair. Meredith heard the door of the apartment beginning to open. Quickly she shoved the letters into the nearest drawer and turned to face the opening door.

"Hey," Derek smiled entering the apartment. "Any word?"

Meredith stood up and smiled, "yeah. NYU and Columbia."

"Mer," he laughed, "that's great!" Derek closed the space between them, putting his hands on her cheeks and pulling her in for a kiss. They broke the kiss and Derek pulled her into his arms. Meredith reached on her tippy toes to wrap her arms around his shoulders as he held her waist. Behind his back Meredith's face lost it's smile as she thought about how she was lying to him. They broke apart after minutes passed. "We've got to celebrate," he smiled.

"Really…it's not necessary."

"Yes. It is! Meredith, medical school is a big deal!" Derek pushed.

"Really, I'm tired I think I'm just going to take a quick shower and lie down."

"Do you want company?" he asked hopefully.

"I'm tired," she sighed, retreating into the bathroom.

Closing the door she slipped out of her clothes turned the water all the way up and slid down along the shower wall until she was curled in the fetal position. Dartmouth University, University of Washington, Johns Hopkins, NYU and Columbia, all amazing schools. Only two were in New York. Meredith new deep inside that she'd stay in New York. That's where Cristina was, that's where the love of her life, her fiancé was. There was no way she could leave. But, the ones out of the city were _really_ good. It was something to think about.

***

Derek watched the door of the bathroom from his position on the bed. Meredith had been in there for over twenty minutes. He was getting worried but he didn't want to disturb her. He got up and quietly hit the door with his fist softly. "Mer?" he called quietly.

"Yes?" she answered.

"You okay?"

"Fine. I'll be out in a minute."

Derek sat back down. Something was wrong. That much was obvious. He just had to figure out what. Another ten minutes passed and Derek began to get really worried. He slowly opened the door to find Meredith in the fetal position in the corner of the shower. "Mer," he sighed, picking up her up out of the shower and realizing how cold the water was. Derek set her on her feet and wrapped a towel around her. Meredith walked out of the bathroom and threw a pair of sweats on as Derek perched on the edge of the bed. "What's wrong Meredith?"

"Nothing," she faked a smile, "I'm fine. Just tired."

"Liar," he accused.

"Really Derek, I'm totally fine."

"Then why did you almost suffer from hypothermia from sitting in a cold shower for over thirty minutes?"

"Derek, stop overreacting!" she laughed. "What are you? My mother?"

"No because your mother didn't care this much about you," he snapped. As soon as the phrase came out of his mouth he regretted saying it. Meredith stared at him, her mouth gaping open in shock. "Mer I…"

"Save it," she hissed, "get out."

"What?"

"GET OUT OF THE ROOM!" she yelled, "go sleep in the guest room."

Derek walked out dejectedly. As he reached for the door handle he turned around. "I'm sorry Meredith," he whispered and left the room.

Meredith collapsed on the bed and curled up under the covers. It wasn't until she was truly comfortable that she let sobs break loose from her chest. After some time crying she felt herself drift off into an uncomfortable slumber.

***

Derek lay on the bed with an arm draped over his eyes. He couldn't sleep with the sounds of Meredith's loud sobs echoing through the apartment. He didn't mean it. It just slipped out. Getting off of the bed, giving up on the idea of sleep, Derek walked into the living room and over to the small vanity and opened the first drawer looking for a pen. Instead he found three slightly ruffled pieces of paper on the top one said Dartmouth University, another said University of Washington, and the last said Johns Hopkins. They were all acceptance letters addressed to Ms. Grey.

This was exactly the reason he hadn't told her about getting the position of Chief Resident. He wanted them to decide together if they'd move. But obviously Meredith was hiding it from him. Feeling an irrational anger Derek grabbed his wallet and a jacket from the hook and walked out the door of the apartment. He quickly made his way downtown and checked into a hotel. Derek needed to think.

***

Meredith woke up, her eyes red and sore from sobbing. She walked to the living room to grab a cup of coffee. Looking into the other room, of which the door was open. No Derek. The bed wasn't even ruffled. Wandering into the living room she noticed his absence there too. Meredith may have still been mad at him but that didn't mean that she didn't care about his well being. "Derek?" she called out. No answer. "Derek Shepherd!" Meredith called again. They weren't supposed to walk out angry. She knew he had the day off so she had no clue where he was.

Digging through her purse on the near by table, she pulled out her cell phone, quickly pressed speed dial one and put the phone to her ear. It went straight to voicemail. She left a message and called again. Getting angry when it went straight to voice mail again she slammed the small phone down on the table. _Where the hell is he?_ She thought angrily. Figuring he'd reappear she climbed back in bed and tried her best to fall back asleep.

***

**A/N: Yeah back to angst. **


	35. Repair

**A/N: Again, high school sucks. But, I love it.**

***

Derek sat, ashamed of what he'd done. He walked out, angry. They were never supposed to walk out angry. Sitting in a hotel room by himself he was able to think. There was nothing to think about though. He loved her. He'd to what was best and he was just angry. Meredith didn't tell him. Probably because she wanted to decide on her own. Although she pulled away from him the night before he still knew he shouldn't have brought up Ellis. Derek knew he should head home and talk to Meredith but something was stopping him.

Although it was merely twelve in the afternoon he decided to go down to the hotel bar and have a drink.

***

Meredith frantically paced around the apartment. Derek had been gone for at least 15 hours now. Mark, Addison and Cristina sat on the couch watching her move frantically back and forth. "What if he's somewhere in the bottom of a hole? Or in the hospital with out ID? What if…"

"Mer, I'm sure he's fine. You were the one upset with him…so there's no reason he'd be angry and drunk somewhere," Addison assured her. "And he can't be that mad, I mean he just got the job as Chief Resident so he should he happy."

"He did what?" she exclaimed.

"He didn't tell you?" Mark asked skeptically.

"No! What the hell?"

"He was probably going to Mer," Addison assured her, "and when he gets home he will tell you. I know he's fine."

"How do you know…just, why won't he answer his phone?" she asked, just then her phone began to ring.

"Derek?" she asked hopefully, not bothering to look at the caller ID.

"_No Dear,"_ the voice of Derek's mother Carolyn said.

"Carolyn, any word from him?" she asked.

"_Not yet. I just called to see how you were holding up."_

Meredith sighed. "Not well…my mind just keeps bringing me to these assumptions of where he might be. None are good."

"_Oh Meredith, dear, he'll show up. I promise."_

"Okay, call if you hear anything from him."

"_You too,"_ and with that they hung up.

"I'm sure he's fine Mer," Mark assured her. As if on cue the doorbell rung loudly through the apartment. The whole group rushed to the door. Meredith opened it revealing a tired looking Derek.

"Derek!" she exclaimed embracing him. Letting go she frowned, punching him in the chest. "YOU BASTARD!" she yelled pounding her fists at his chest.

"Mer…stop," he pleaded moving, stumbling, past her into the apartment.

"You're drunk!" Meredith accused.

"Not…a-a little."

"How much did you drink?"

"Only…six or seven or maybe fifteen or five," he slurred.

"You bastard," she said getting genuinely angry, "you were off drinking while our friends and your family waited, nervously. I thought you might be dead!"

"You lied to me!" Derek shouted drunkenly. Addison, Mark and Cristina figured this would be the best time to wait in the other room. "You… didn't tell me about med-med school!"

"You didn't tell me about your promotion!" she shouted back. He stumbled past her, heading for the bedroom. "We'll talk in the morning," she called after him.

Meredith walked back into the living room where their friends were sitting. Having already told them what happened before the fight, Derek was the only one, or at least she'd thought, who didn't know what schools she got into. "He'll be better in the morning," Addison smiled.

"Yeah," she sighed. "I have to call Carolyn."

"Done," Mark smiled.

"Okay thanks guys. I think I'm just going to go to bed. It's been a long day."

"Call us later," Addison said hugging her friend. Mark just smiled sadly and hugged her.

"Fix this. I hate this annoying mopey you," Cristina joked, smiling at her friend. Meredith retreated into her room to find Derek passed out on the floor. She grabbed a pillow and blanket, lifted his head to slide the pillow in, and covered him with the blanket. "I love you Derek," she whispered, kissing his head softly before climbing into bed.

***

Meredith woke when she heard groaning coming from the floor. It was then she remembered that was where Derek had slept the night before. Quickly hurrying out of bed she went to kneel by Derek's side. "WhereamI?" he murmured.

"On the floor of our room," she said.

"Why?"

"You got drunk," Meredith whispered.

Suddenly the memories flooded back. She didn't tell him. He went to a hotel. He got drunk. "We need to talk," he groaned.

"We can Derek, we will. Let me take care of you and when you're feeling better," she said in a whisper, running her fingers through his hair. "Come on," she said offering him two hands. He took them and she helped him into the bed. "I'll be right back. I just need to go get you some aspirin," Derek nodded slowly. Walking into the kitchen Meredith sighed. She couldn't do it. It was too hard. How could she just take care of him when they were hardly on speaking terms? Quickly throwing ingredients into the blender she put the cap and blended the foods together until they created an indescribable color. Meredith poured the thick liquid into a glass and grabbed two aspirin before heading back to their bedroom. She handed Derek the liquid and the aspirin.

"What is this?" he croaked leaning over the bed to heave into the awaiting trashcan.

"My personal hangover remedy. You don't want to know what it's made of," she joked sitting on the far side of the bed.

Derek took a sip of the drink and made a sour face. "It's gross!" he complained.

"Just drink it. You'll feel better," Meredith promised sweetly. He frowned at her and downed the whole glass. "There was that so bad?"

"Yes," he coughed.

"Take a nap and I promise you'll feel better," she smiled stroking his hair back and kissing the crown of his head.

"I know we're not on the best of terms now but, could I hold you?"

Meredith smiled and nodded, slipping into the bed next to him. Wrapping his arms around her, Derek quickly fell asleep.

***

A few hours later Derek woke up, his headache surprisingly gone and same with the nausea. He turned to see Meredith sitting up in bed listening to an ipod. "Hi," she said noticing she was awake.

"Hi," he responded.

"You feeling better?"

"Much," Derek nodded. "We need to…"

"Talk, yeah," Meredith interrupted him.

There was a silence in the room. "Why didn't you tell me?" Derek asked afraid of the answer.

"I didn't want to leave. We love New York. You're career is here. You're family is here. Our life together is here Derek," she said truthfully. "And I knew if I told you, you'd tell me it was okay to think about moving and…I didn't want to hear it. I'd made my decision. I'm staying here."

Derek nodded at her. "Were you ever going to tell me?" he asked semi acuseatively.

"Yes," she said confidently, "of course. Just, I needed time."

After a short pause he spoke. "I understand," he sighed. "And I'm really sorry about the mother comment. I was angry and…"

"It wasn't okay," she said sadly, "I can't say that."

"I'm so sorry Mer."

"I can forgive you Derek."

Another silence loomed in the room. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" he asked confused.

"That you got picked for Chief Resident."

"I wanted you to make sure that New York was where you wanted to be because I didn't want to hold you back."

"Is this still part of what happened with my mother?" she asked scooting closer to him and taking his hand.

"Maybe," he admitted quietly.

"Derek, any decision I make I make for me as an individual and us as a couple. I don't think you're holding me back. Columbia is a great school. As is NYU. I don't need to leave here for a good education. You are not or will you ever be something bad for me," Meredith promised.

He nodded and smiled. "Are we both forgiven?"

"Yes," she smiled.

"You know we've got make up sex, medical school celebration sex, and Chief Resident celebration sex."

"That's a long list, we better get started," Meredith teased as she leaned in to kiss him.

***

**A/N: Okay yeah. Who saw the episode on Thursday? I loved it. What did you think? Talk to me about it! Oh and are there any guys reading this? If so, drop me a line!**


	36. Let's Get Married

**A/N: No school means update! Thank you Election Day/sickness!**

***

Derek smiled as Meredith walked through the doors of their apartment. "Hi," she said putting down her bag and taking off her coat.

"Hi," Derek echoed turning his attention away from the football game. "How was the bar?"

"Fun I guess," she shrugged curling up next to him on the couch.

"Good. You drunk at all?" she shook her head 'no'. "How's Cristina?"

Meredith sighed. "She's not dating. She's not having one-night stands. She's not doing anything. All she does is work and go home, alone. I don't know what to do…Owen really broke her."

"Hopefully she'll get better eventually, over time. Or, she'll meet someone she can't resist and it'll happen for her."

"God I hope so," she sighed leaning into Derek's side. He wrapped an arm around her and kissed her cheek.

"I love you," he said quietly ten minutes later.

"I love you too," she told him quietly.

"You tired?" he asked reading the time on the clock.

"A little," she yawned.

"Come on," Derek said relinquishing his grip on her and standing up. He extended a hand to her and she took it.

Leading her into their bedroom, he released her hand and they both got ready for bed, stealing glances at each other and smiling. Neither could believe how lucky they were to be in such a strong relationship. Sure they fought but this was forever. One after the other, both Meredith and Derek slipped under the covers and into the bed. Reaching out, Derek enclosed Meredith in his arms and pulled her close to him.

"Good night," she said quietly.

"Good night," he responded shutting his eyes.

***

Their peaceful sleeps were interrupted by a loud beeping noise. "Turn it off," Derek moaned. Reaching, Meredith hit the off button on the small black box. Derek snuggled her closer, not letting go. They lay for an unknown amount of time just enjoyed the time connected.

"Derek," she laughed lightly, "we have to go. You've got work and I've got a class."

"No," he complained pulling her closer and burring his nose in her hair. "Don't want to."

"I don't think your residents could survive with out their fearless leader."

"Sucks."

Meredith laughed and turned in his arms so she could face him. Smiling she kissed his lips lightly and wrapped her arms around him. He captured her lips and deepened the kiss. Slowly he rolled so he was positioned on top of her. "I'm going to be late for class," she said as his kisses moved to her neck, knowing what was coming next.

"I'll write you a note," he answered.

"Oh yeah that'll work," Meredith said sarcastically, stifling a moan as he kissed the spot on her neck that always drove her wild. "A not from my fiancé saying he wanted sex this morning,"

"Yes," he said traveling lower with his kisses. At this point Meredith was putty in his hands.

***

"We're late," she complained as she stuffed a variety of books into her bag.

"I'm not sorry," he smiled.

"You will be when you're banned from sex for a week."

"You couldn't resist me," Derek teased grabbing his coat.

"Hm."

"Come on. I'll give you a ride," he said grabbing her around he waist and kissing her cheek.

"Fine," she sighed leaning into his grip.

They walked down the flight of stairs and out the building to their car. Letting go of each other to get in the car, Meredith walked to the passenger side. Once they were both in Derek began to drive. They made normal small talk until they pulled up to the building in which her class was in. Derek looked down at his watch. "Three minutes early," he smirked.

"Oh shut up."

"Come on that was pretty good."

"Fine. You got sex and I'm on time. Good work," she said leaning in to kiss him.

"See you after work?" Derek asked.

"You bet."

"Bye," he kissed her once more.

"Bye," Meredith said as she stepped out of the car.

"Is that your mysterious doctor fiancé?" Meredith's friend Beth asked as they ran into one another.

"He is," she smiled proudly.

"He's really hot," Beth giggled.

"Yeah."

"You failed to mention that hair!"

"Yeah," Meredith sighed, "it's one of the things that makes me happy," she giggled as they walked into the lecture.

***

"Let's get married," Derek suggested walking into their room after a twelve-hour shift.

"Derek, I already said yes, twice," Meredith laughed.

"Hi," he threw in kissing her cheek and flopping down next to her.

"Hi," she smiled at him.

"Let's get married," he repeated.

"You've now officially asked four times."

"I meant, lets actually get married, soon. I want to call you my wife. I just want us to be married. We don't want anything big so I was just wondering if you just wanted to go down to city hall with mom, Addie, Mark, Cristina and just do it."

"Sounds perfect," she smiled kissing his lips lightly. "What brought this sudden urge on?"

"Can't I just want to marry my hot fiancé?" he asked earning a disbelieving look from her. Derek looked down and looked back up at her. "My patient died today."

"I'm sorry," she said running her fingers through his hair. Being the amazing caring person he was, patient's deaths were always hard on him.

"She was in a car crash and her fiancé of two years' biggest regret was never marrying her."

"Derek," Meredith sighed pulling him closer to her.

"I don't want my biggest regret in life to be never marrying you."

"I'm not leaving you," she promised.

"I know," Derek smiled shifting so his head was resting comfortably on her chest. Looking down at him, Meredith began running her fingers through his dark locks.

"So when should we get married?" she smiled.

"We could do it at the end of the summer. The day before my weeklong break," he suggested, "I was kind of thinking we could go on a cruise. I've always wanted to go. What do you think?"

"I think that all sounds perfect, a week alone with you. No cell phones or pagers."

"No friends."

"Just us. It's perfect for a honeymoon."

"Perfect," he smiled kissing her lips softly.

"We're getting married," Meredith spoke quietly.

"We're getting married," Derek echoed.

***

**A/N: Ew. I hate fluff! Well…it's gonna be fluffy for the next few chapters but, good fluff. Then drama, BAD drama.**


	37. Smile

**A/N: Hey all. Okay, I got a question about the future of Cristina. I can tell you that soon there will be a romance that will cause a rift between Cristina and her best friend. Then in the sequel Burke will be there but so will someone else…I don't really like Burke. Yeah but since this is a MerDer fic it won't be the center of any chapter but I may have some actual Burktina and other person/Cristina stuff. It'll be cool…I hope. Much more angsty than the show for her at least. So enjoy this chapter and yeah it's an important one.**

***

_You're better then the best_

_I'm lucky just to linger in your light_

_Cooler then the flip side of my pillow that's right_

_Completely unaware_

Derek's eyes slowly opened and he looked at the small woman in his arms. He smiled. Today was the day that he'd finally get to call Meredith Grey his wife. Slowly leaning over he placed a kiss to her cheek and one to her neck. She groaned curling into Derek's chest. "We're getting married today," he whispered into her ear as he brushed some stray hair away.

Immediately her eyes opened and she smiled. "We're getting married today."

They'd planed it all out. Derek's mother, Mark, Addison, and Cristina were going to meet them at City Hall for a twelve o'clock appointment. Then Derek's mother insisted she throw them a very small informal reception at her house with his sisters. They'd agreed to make her happy. "Are you freaking out at all?" he asked.

Meredith shook her head 'no'. "I'm ready for this. I want to marry you."

"Good," he smiled lightly kissing her lips. "So Ms. Grey, how would you like to join me in the shower?"

"I don't know Dr. Shepherd," she pretended to sigh. Derek growled and picked her up off the bed. "Derek!" she screeched as he dragged her into the bathroom. She began to laugh as Derek continued to literally drag her until they were in front of the shower. They began striping each other's clothes and they hopped into the shower.

***

After 'showering' and getting dressed to go the couple sat to eat their last breakfast as fiancé and fiancé. "Mer," Derek said as they ate the omelets.

"Yeah?" she smiled at him.

"Since we're doing this at City Hall and it's going to be pretty informal. I just want to say a few things before we go. Also, I want to do this in private," he said and she nodded.

_Nothing can compare to where you send me_

_Lets me know that it's ok yeah it's ok_

_And the moments where my good times start to fade_

"We've had fights," he stated, "and we've made up. But, no matter what happens in the rest of our lives together nothing will ever make me as happy as you do."

_You make me smile like the sun_

_Fall out of bed sing like a bird_

_Dizzy in my head spin like a record_

_Crazy on a Sunday night_

_You make me dance like a fool_

_Forget how to breathe_

_Shine like gold buzz like a bee_

_Just the thought of you can drive me wild_

_Ohh you make me smile_

"Meredith Grey, I love you and you make me happier than I've ever been before. Sometimes I just look at you and I can't stop smiling."

"Cheesy," she laughed, tears welling up in her eyes.

"I don't care," he smiled, "I just love you so much. You make my head spin like a record crazy on a Sunday night."

"You just quoted Uncle Kracker," she laughed.

"Maybe I did."

_Even when you're gone_

_Somehow you come along_

_Just like a flower poking through the sidewalk crack and just like that_

_You steal away the rain and just like that_

"And I was totally lost when I left you, I know it broke you but it broke me too. I'd see you everywhere. So Meredith Grey, I love you."

Meredith smiled and kissed his lips gently. "I love you too."

_Don't know how I lived without you_

_Cuz every time that I get around you_

_I see the best of me inside your eyes_

_You make me smile_

_You make me dance like a fool_

_Forget how to breathe_

_Shine like gold buzz like a bee_

_Just the thought of you can drive me wild_

"And I want to thank you," Meredith said, "and this is going to sound all sentimental and un…me but whatever. Before you I just existed, continued existing day to day. I was, well dark and twisty. And then you saved me. And now, I have no clue how I lived without you and yeah…you make me smile."

Instead of answering, Derek reached over and pulled Meredith into his arms. "So when did you become sentimental?" he laughed into the side of her neck.

"Oh shut up. You killed the moment," she said shoving him away.

"Sorry," he laughed leaning in to kiss her. "Let's go get married."

"Let's go get married."

***

"Meredith! Derek!" Carolyn Shepherd called out as they walked into the city hall building.

"Hey mom," Derek said hugging his mother.

"Hi Carolyn," Meredith smiled hugging her.

"How are you two? Excited?" she prodded.

"Very," Derek smiled taking Meredith's hand.

"Well come on, the others are in the back waiting lets go get you two married."

Walking into the room, the judge went through the legality of the marriage; they said 'I do' and shared their first kiss as husband and wife.

"We're married," Meredith whispered as he held her close.

"We're married," he echoed capturing her lips again.

"Come on you too," Carolyn said, "we've got a reception to go to."

They nodded and followed her out and were congratulated by their close friends. As soon as they stepped out of the building they noticed a white hummer limo parked on the street.

"Is that…" Derek trailed off.

"For you yes," Mark cut in.

"We got a present for you," Addison added. "To drive you to Connecticut."

"Thanks guys!" Meredith gushed and hugged her friends.

"You're welcome," Addison added.

"See you there," Cristina said walking towards her car.

_You make me smile like the sun_

_Fall out of bed sing like bird_

_Dizzy in my head spin like a record_

_Crazy on a Sunday night_

They waved good-bye and climbed into the limo. "We're alone," Derek whispered pulling his wife into his side.

"We are, husband."

"Wife," he smiled kissing the top of her head.

"So, how do you like being married to me Dr. Shepherd?" she asked.

"I like it very much. Mrs. Shepherd."

"Derek, you know I didn't change my name," she said. "You said it was okay."

"Meredith," he smiled, "no matter what your legal last name is, you are Mrs. Shepherd."

"Okay," Meredith hugged her husband. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his nose into her hair. They stayed like that, occasionally stealing a kiss all the way to Connecticut. As soon as they arrived there was a mob of kids waiting to say hi to Aunt Meri and Uncle Derek and many sisters waiting to congratulate them.

"Congratulations!" the four sisters screeched as the happy couple stepped out of the limo.

Rushing to Meredith before Derek they each took their turns hugging her. "Yeah, I feel loved right now," Derek said sarcastically.

"Aw does Derbear feel left out?" Anna fake-pouted at him, opening her arms to hug her older brother.

"How many times do I have to ask you not to call me that?" he complained letting go.

"I think it's cute Derbear," Meredith teased kissing her husband on the lips.

"Not you too," he moaned.

"See this is why we like her," Kathleen said kissing her brother on the cheek.

"Yeah, if you grow boobs and start liking girl stuff, maybe we'll love you as much as we love her," Catherine semi-joked hugging her brother.

"But if he had boobs, I'm not sure he'd be a husband…" Meredith played along.

"You're actually going along with this?" Derek asked.

"Oh lighten up little brother," Nancy said, giving the final sister hug.

"All of you," Carolyn said, "get inside." As she followed them in she chuckled at their bickering. Meredith was a perfect fit into the family, a true Shepherd Sister.

The moment they stepped foot in the house, Meredith and Derek were bombarded by children wanting hugs and kisses from Uncle Derek and their new Aunt Meredith. Once the kids said their hellos they retreated outside to play.

_You make me dance like a fool_

_Forget how to breathe_

_Shine like gold buzz like a bee_

_Just the thought of you can drive me wild_

_Ohh you make me smile_

_Ohh you make me smile_

_Ohh you make me smile_

"Oh my god," Meredith gushed seeing the twins Heather and Ian. "They're adorable."

"Aren't they?" Nancy smiled handing Heather to Meredith.

"Hi baby girl," she cooed. Derek smiled. He couldn't help it. Seeing Meredith with their niece just made him want a baby with their combined features in her arms.

"Derek you want to meet your niece Sophie?" Catherine asked smiling.

"Of course I do!" he grinned taking the baby from Catherine's arms. "Hi Sophie. I'm you're Uncle Derek. I'm going to spoil you rotten. Yes I am."

"Lets go outside," Carolyn said ushering the crowd outside. Meredith and Derek gasped as they saw the arrangement set up in the yard. There was a dance floor, tables, everything.

"Carolyn," Meredith smiled handing Heather to Marcus, Nancy's husband. "You didn't have to do all this."

"Oh but I wanted to."

"Thank you," she embraced the older woman.

"You want to dance?" Derek whispered in Meredith's ear as he snuck up on her and wrapped his arms around her from the back.

"You don't dance in public," she reminded him.

"Good thing this isn't public," he said walking them forward onto the dance floor.

Picking up the cue, Mark turned to a slow song on the iPod with speakers. Derek wrapped his arms around Meredith's waist as she wrapped hers around his neck. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too."

They sway back and forth to the music until Derek grabbed one of her arms and spun her out, making Meredith laugh as he brought her back into his chest with one arm curled around her. After a few minutes Mark switched the song to something more up beat and the rest of the family crowded on the dance floor. Derek danced around his wife spazily as she laughed and laughed. At that moment she realized why he never danced in public. She didn't care though because she was pretty sure he was just doing it to make her smile.

***

**A/N: Pretty long chapter. I didn't really want to break it. I hope you enjoyed! Honeymoon next! No, sorry there won't be any sex… that I write…a 9****th**** grade virgin wouldn't be so great at that. The song is Smile by Uncle Kracker. Great song! After the honeymoon I expect about five chapters that are all/mostly angst. **


	38. Cocoon

**A/N: Honeymoon! I decided on a cruise because I've been on six and I've loved every one of them. So I'm pretty much a cruise expert. Yeah because I'm that cool. Anyways, I feel like it'd be an amazing honeymoon so that's my reasoning. Enjoy!**

**WARNING: This chapter jumps around a lot so yeah. It's in chronological order though. It'll all make sense.**

***

"This is going to be amazing," Meredith smiled as they waited to walk up the gangplank in Bayonne, New Jersey. They'd already given in their bags, gone through security, and waited for a bus to take them to the ship. Neither cared though. The thought of being alone on the Explorer Of The Seas, a Royal Carribbean cruise ship, excited them.

"You and me for seven days virtually alone," Derek smiled leaning over her shoulder to kiss her cheek. "How couldn't that be amazing?"

"You do know we're going to need to get out of the room and do things right?"

"Why?" he whined.

"Well when your family asks what we did on our honeymoon and they want to see pictures…"

"They get that it's our honeymoon," he smiled wrapping his arms around her waist from behind as the slowly moved forwards.

"Yeah but I mean the places we're stopping we should go do things."

"But there's only one person I want to do," Derek smirked.

"Oh shut up perv," Meredith giggled, "at this rate, you're not getting any."

"You can't deny sex on our honeymoon!" he whispered harshly, but jokingly, in her ear.

"Watch me," she joked. They stayed quiet as they separated to take pictures for sea passes and passed through the security line. Walking hand in hand to the elevator they stole occasional smiles at each other. "Wow," Meredith smiled as she looked into the 'lobby' of the ship from the glass elevator.

"Yeah," Derek said watching her.

"Derek," she giggled looking back at him, "you weren't even looking."

"I was looking at something better," he shrugged.

"Corny," she muttered under her breath, a grin tugging at her lips.

"We're here," he announced to her, seeing as that they were the only inhabitants of the elevator.

"What room are we in?" she asked as they exited the elevator.

"Twelve oh one," Derek said taking her hand. "Here we are," he said as they approached double doors.

"Presidential suite?" Meredith gasped. Derek nodded. "Derek you didn't!"

"I did," he smiled. "After we made the reservations I called back and asked for the switch." He took out the sea pass, which was also a room key, and swiped it in the door. "Are you mad?" Derek asked with his hand on the doorknob, ready to open.

Instead of answering Meredith just shoved him into the open room. "I love you," she whispered capturing his lips as the door slammed shut.

"Glad you like it."

Meredith smiled and looked around the room. There was a very large living area as well as a separate door leading to a bedroom. "This is amazing Der."

"You haven't even seen the bathroom yet." Meredith smiled at him and left his side to go investigate the bathroom. Once there she gasped at the Jacuzzi tub. "This is what sold me on the suite," he said wrapping his arms around her. She captured his lips fiercely in a passionate kiss as they stumbled back to get to the bedroom.

***

"You don't want to buy anything?" he prodded as they walked hand in hand through the streets of San Juan, Puerto Rico.

"Derek," she laughed, "I don't need anything."

"Yes but do you _want_ anything?"

"No."

"Even a sexy little bikini?" Derek asked hopefully.

"I have plenty of those in the hotel room," she whispered seductively in his ear.

"Yes but you're _sure_ you don't want one?"

"Positive."

"Fine," he conceded. "Don't let me spoil you on our honeymoon," he mumbled dramatically. They walked along happily until Derek saw a store baring the name 'Del Sol'. "Oh Mer we have to stop here. I read all about this place in my tour book."

"You're such a girl with your stupid tour book," she teased.

"How am I a girl?" he asked pulling her into the store.

"You always see mothers walking around carrying tour books and sporting fanny packs."

"Well, my very cool, very manly tour book had a story about this place."

"Yeah…" Meredith trailed.

"Well, this woman got angry with her husband so she bought nail polish here and since the point of this store is that the colors change in the sun she bought clear polish that turned red in the sunlight. That night when her husband was sleeping, she painted his nails but he wasn't able to see it until he went golfing with friends and his nails turned red."

Meredith stared at him. "That's a lie."

"I swear to you its not. Here we'll find the polish and I'll prove it," Derek announced leading her over to nail polish. "See," he said picking up a clear one and holding it to a box that gave out UV rays. "Turned red," he smirked.

"Maybe we should get some," she responded, obviously intrigued.

"No way," Derek said semi-jokingly, "knowing you, you'd make me go to work with red nails and have Mark and the rest of my colleagues laughing at me all day."

"Sounds fun!"

"For you, yes."

"Fine," she sighed dramatically. "How about you get me a bag that changes color in the sun then."

"Good, great."

She carefully picked out a bag and held it up to the UV box. "This is pretty cool," Meredith admitted to him.

"I knew you'd like it."

"Oh you know me so well," she teased.

"You know I do."

***

"Ready?"

"Very," Meredith smiled as they walked along the dock in Labadee, Haiti. Following after the other groups, Meredith and Derek walked out to the smaller sections of the dock that were blocking in the wave runners. Derek carefully boarded first, extending a hand for Meredith to get on behind him. She quickly spread her legs and sat on the wave runner. As she wrapped her arms around her husband the leader signaled for them to pull out. With help from a worker Derek guided the small craft out of its 'parking space'. Meredith put her head on Derek's back as they rode through the bright blue waves.

***

"We're going to be late Derek!" Meredith called through the suite as she secured her earring in her ear.

"Mer, there's no rush. They won't not let us eat," he called back.

"I'm ready. If you didn't spend three hours on your hair, you would be too," she said straightening her dress as she stood.

"Hey!" Derek called fake hurt gracing his tone. "You love the hair!"

"Hm…" she contemplated, "if it's keeping me from eating then, shave it off."

"I'm ready," he said walking out of the bathroom. "Don't threaten to shave my…wow," Derek stared in shock at the sight in front of him. Meredith stood waiting, a short indigo dress hugging her curves, extenuating them. A pair of silver heels framing her feet. Maybe this formal night thing wouldn't be so bad after all.

"What?"

"You look…wow."

"Oh, thanks," she blushed, "you don't look so bad yourself," she smiled walking towards him. He stood clad in an indigo suit with a white shirt. "We're matching," Meredith whispered as he took her into his arms.

"That we are."

"We should go…take pictures and such."

"We should," he responded taking her hand as they walked out of their suite and making the short trip to the elevator. They stepped into the crowded elevator and rode it down to the main deck. Derek let go of Meredith's hand and wrapped an arm around her slender waist, giving her a light peck on the cheek.

"Camera man!" Meredith exclaimed softly as they walked over to an available picture taking station.

"You here for the pictures?" the man asked, they nodded. He positioned them carefully and snapped a few shots before telling them that they were all set and to pick them up later in the evening a deck below.

They quickly hurried to dinner to fill their almost empty stomachs.

***

"Ugh," Meredith groaned trying to shove the suitcase shut as Derek brushed his teeth.

"Our alright Mer?" Derek called from the bathroom.

"Stupid, idiotic…" she mumbled kicking the suitcase as Derek walked out of the bathroom.

"Fight with the suitcase?" he teased.

"It won't shut."

"Let me help," he said giving her the signature 'McDreamy' smile and patting the suitcase. Meredith sat on top as Derek easily zipped it shut. "We're a great team."

"That we are McDreamy," Meredith giggled.

"McDreamy?" Derek questioned.

"Oh just a stupid nick name Cristina gave you a while ago."

"You think I'm dreamy?" he asked cockily.

"Oh god, the last thing you need is an ego boost," she groaned.

Derek stuck his tongue out at her as he carried their suitcases to the door and put them outside. When he turned back around he found his fiancé lying back on the bed. He smiled and flopped in beside hr. "Back to normal life tomorrow," he sighed.

"No more cocoon."

"No more cocoon," he echoed sadly.

"We've still got one more night in cocoon land," she purred seductively.

"That we do," Derek raised his eyebrows rolling on top of her.

"I love you Der," she whispered.

"I love you too."

***

**A/N: Honeymoon fluff! That will be mostly the last fluff for the next few chapters.**


	39. Calm Before the Storm

**A/N: And the angst begins!**

***

Meredith felt a light tickling sensation on her sides, moving to her back and back down her front. Slowly her eyes opened instantly clashing with a pair of blue ones. She smiled. "Hi."

"Good morning," Derek smiled, lifting his fingers off her back and leaning in to kiss his wife.

"Good morning," she echoed with grin.

"I don't want to go to work."

"I'll be all alone."

"Maybe I should play hooky," he suggested kissing her neck as he rolled on top of her.

"Derek," she laughed, "go to work, you're going to be late."

"Fine," he groaned rolling off of his wife and padding towards the bathroom. Meredith grinned at his demeanor and slowly let her eyes close back into a peaceful slumber.

***

Meredith woke up later that morning, well rested and figured she'd call Cristina to see if she'd like to meet for lunch. Picking her cell phone up from the bedside table, she quickly pressed the speed dial button to call her friend.

"_Hello?"_ Cristina answered.

"Let's have lunch."

"_Fine, where?"_

"Why don't you come over? Derek's at work until six. We can watch a movie or something and get some take out."

"_Sounds good,"_ Cristina said, _"I'll be over in about a half hour."_

"Okay," Meredith said hanging up. It'd be nice to hang out with her person. Since hers and Derek's wedding, they really hadn't spent much time together. She quickly jumped in the shower and got dressed. After dressing, Meredith sat back on her bed with a book. Suddenly, feeling nauseous she ran into the bathroom an emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet. Instead of asking herself why she was suddenly feeling so sick to her stomach she brushed it aside and picked up her toothbrush to get the taste of vomit out of her mouth. Soon after the doorbell rung and Meredith went to answer it. "Hey," she smiled greeting her friend.

"Hi," Cristina said walking into the apartment.

"Italian good?" Meredith asked walking over to the vanity where the take out menus were held.

"Yup," she said collapsing on the couch.

Grabbing the takeout menus and a phone, Meredith flopped next to her person. She quickly ordered the food and turned to her friend. "What's new in your life?"

Cristina sighed. "I miss sex…a lot."

"Hm."

"Not that you'd understand what that felt like considering you and your hubby are like bunnies," she snorted.

"Remember when I broke up Derek?" Cristina nodded. "Well I didn't have sex the whole time. It can't have been more than three months since you've had sex…could it?"

"It's probably been closer to six," she groaned.

Meredith turned to her very intrigued. "You need to get laid."

"Ugh, hence my statement, I NEED sex Meredith! I need it!" Cristina said shaking Meredith's shoulders.

"Tonight, go find some guy in a bar, get drunk and go home with him."

"It's been SO long," Meredith frowned sadly at her friend. Before she could say anything else, she felt her legs pulling her towards the bathroom where she thankfully made it to the toilet before, yet again, emptying the contents of her stomach. Cristina wasn't far behind her and she saw the action occur. "My god Meredith. Are you pregnant?"

"I don't know," she said, the thought now occurring to her and freaking her out.

***

For the rest of her afternoon with Cristina Meredith pushed aside the fact that she could very well be pregnant. Sitting on the bus to Mount Sinai Hospital, needing to talk to Derek, she had time to think. It was hard to remember when her last period was so there was a chance. The pregnancy tests were burning a hole through her bag. After what felt like an eternity, the bus pulled up in front of the hospital. She quickly got off and headed for the first nurses station she saw. "Can you please page Dr. Shepherd?" she asked one of the young nurses who smiled and nodded.

After about five minutes Derek walked down the hallway and up to the counter seeing Meredith. "What are you doing here?" he asked, pleasantly surprised.

"I need to talk to you," she said quietly offering him a gentle smile.

"Okay," Derek smiled back, taking her hand and leading her into an on call room.

"IthinkImightbepregnant," she blurted uncontrollably.

"What?" he asked obviously taken back by the outburst.

"I threw up twice already today and I can't remember the last time I had my period…Derek I can't do this, I can't have a baby."

"Mer, lets just see if you are pregnant. Do you have tests?" She nodded, pulling two different tests out of her bag. "Come on," Derek said pulling her softly out of the room and to the nearest bathroom. "Come out when you're done," he said quietly, "I'll be out here."

Meredith nodded and disappeared into the bathroom. She emerged a minute later. "It takes three minutes."

"Let's go back to the on call room."

She nodded and followed. "Derek," she said quietly as they walked into the room. "If I'm pregnant, I can't…I can't have this baby."

"What?"

"I'm going in to med school. I want a career Derek," she pleaded, trying to make him understand.

"So, what? If you're pregnant you'd abort our baby?" he spat.

"It'd be an option."

"I can't believe you'd do that!" Derek yelled.

"Derek I want a life! You have a career. I'm going to be a student, then an intern!"

"Just check the tests."

"Here," she said passing it to him. Derek read the tests, tossed them In the trash.

"Congratulations," he snapped, "you're not pregnant." With that he stormed out of the room, leaving Meredith alone.

Once she pulled herself together she walked out of the hospital and jumped in a cab. She'd heard about a party someone was having for Med Students starting in the fall, so she gave the cabby that address and went to the party. Before long she was drunk off her ass not caring what happened.

***

**A/N: So… yeah I will post the next update as soon as I get at least seven reviews. I have it written so it's posting is up to you! **


	40. A Storm is Going to Come

**A/N: More angst! Okay and for those of you who think I sounded desperate with my "seven reviews" thing, sucks. I just did that because I have the chapter written and I know if I post it right away people will review once (hell, I'd do it too) but reviews kinda make my day and also help me progress. So that's my reasoning. If anyone has a problem, don't review then. **

**But see how quickly I updated with my seven reviews! We're both happy!**

**Oh and those of you who've read the flashback in Life in Disguise, yeah this is a good deal different. I've gotta say, my writing for Life in Disguise, sucks. I've redone all of what I have written and the moment this story is done, up goes Life in Disguise.**

**Oh and if anyone ever has any suggestions and such or would like to ask something about the future, PM me. I'll answer! Or if you want to talk about an episode… I've got no friends to talk to about the show so, go ahead!**

***

Derek was panicking. He knew that they had a fight. That didn't mean he didn't care where she was at two am. She was his wife and he loved her more than anything in the universe. He had called Cristina an hour ago and no answer. He had been calling Meredith for hours and she never picked up. About an hour ago he realized she turned off her phone but he still called. He sat on the couch for a moment. Then he got up and started to pace. He finally stood in one place and took out his cell phone and called Cristina again.

"_Hello?"_ the familiar voice on the other side of the line asked.

"Cristina is Mer with you?" Derek asked.

"_Yes Derek she's sitting right next to me."_ Cristina knew she lied but didn't care. He didn't need to know she was MIA. "Sorry it's so late she passed out."

"Oh thank god," Derek said, maybe a small bit relieved.

"_Got to go. Bye."_

The phone went dead. Derek wasn't sure Cristina was telling the truth but he knew she'd have a better chance of finding her. He continued pacing up and down. He knew he should wait at home incase she showed up.

***

Cristina walked into the party she thought Meredith would be at. Knowing her best friend, after a fight she'd find the easiest source of alcohol, which would be at the only party for Columbia med students. She searched through the crowed house. Finally she found her best friend in an upstairs room, with her shirt off and her pants unbuttoned, lying on top of some guy, making out with him.

Cristina rushed over. "Mer, get off of him!"

"CRISTINA!" Meredith exclaimed. She was obviously very drunk. Using the guy's chest she pushed her self up to straddle him. "Cristina this is… uh…"

"Finn," The guy said.

"Mer, Derek's going to be really pissed."

"Screw Derek. Wait, you don't screw Derek, I do. He's no fun...but really good in bed… Frank is fun! But, I don't know if he's really good in bed yet."

"Finn," The guy added.

"Mer, your drunk lets go. Remember the fact that you're married?"

"Oh yeeaaahhhh," she got off Finn's lap. " You were there Cristina! You were gonna be my um…"

"Maid of honor. Yeah I know. And as one of my duties I need to get you home before you do anything you might regret."

"Uf…fine. Bye Fred."

"Finn."

Cristina pulled Meredith up, slipped the discarded shirt over her head, and put her arm around Meredith's waist. "Finn, or whatever your name is, stay away from Meredith. She's married and her husband might kill you. You're a son of a bitch for taking advantage of a drunken girl," she punched him in the lower stomach and he gave her a look of shock and pain. "You should be glad I didn't aim lower," Cristina walked out the door with a stumbling Meredith beside her. They walked down the streets to Meredith and Derek's apartment. About halfway back Meredith started to sing and incoherent song.

***

"What the hell happened?" Derek asked when he opened the apartment door for them.

"Derek?" Meredith slurred. "You're jackass," he took Meredith into his arms. "Get off of me!" she half slurred half shrieked. Derek set her down on the couch where she soon fell asleep.

"Meredith is really, really drunk," Cristina emphasized really.

"I can see that."

"When I told you that she was with me…I lied."

"I figured," he nodded.

"Well, I went looking for her and found her…"

"What?"

"In a bedroom... with some guy at a party," Cristina said.

"WHAT?!" Derek yelled.

"They weren't having sex…she was just…laying on top of him… with her shirt off. I told her to get off him, dragged her drunken ass out the door and yelled at the guy for taking advantage of a drunken girl. And I added if he ever went near her again, you'd kill him. Also punched him."

"Damn right I would."

"Don't be too hard on her. She was REALLY drunk."

"Thanks for getting her home Cristina."

"No problem."

"Good night," Derek opened the front door for Cristina.

"Good night Derek. And please, take it easy," she left him with his thoughts. His wife, _his_ Meredith, making out with another man. It wasn't right. He understood she was angry and drunk but she had no right. He picked Meredith up off the couch and placed her in their bed. Not bothering to cover her up or even take off her shoes or clothes, he went down and lay on their couch. The small tears streaming down his face slowly put him to sleep.

***

"Meredith wake up," Meredith opened her eyes slowly to see who was talking in such a harsh tone. "Sit up and take these," Derek said flatly shoving two aspirin and a glass of water in her face. He didn't want her to be in physical pain but emotional, he wasn't so concerned about.

"What's wrong Derek?" she swallowed the aspirin.

"What's wrong? WHAT'S WRONG?! What's wrong is my wife, had another guys tongue down her throat and was laying on top of said guy with her shirt off last night while I sat here and worried."

"I'm sorry Derek I'm so so sorry. I was drunk, and angry," Meredith whispered "And it's not all my fault," she gained strength in her voice.

"I'm angry too." Derek got up and slammed the door causing Meredith to wince in pain from her headache.

She looked at the clock and realized she had class. Meredith jumped up as fast as her headache would allow. She quickly got dressed and ran towards the door. "I love you Derek," she called out and left their apartment.

***

Meredith walked up the flight of stairs to her apartment, after class, pulling out the keys from her bag. When she looked up she saw one of her duffels sitting in front of the door with a white piece of paper taped to the top. She took the tape off the bag and opened the letter.

_**Meredith,**_

_**I need some space. Please go stay with Cristina or something. I didn't go as far as to change the locks but I beg of you, please, I need space. Just go. **_

_**-Derek **_

Meredith's eyes filled with tears. He wanted her out. The walls were caving. Derek was her life. She threw the note to the floor in frustration and grabbed her bags. The winding staircase seemed longer and duller. The world seemed darker. She yearned for tequila but that's what partially got her into this mess. Instead she walked the half block to Broadway and raised her arm to hail a taxi. One stopped and she got in. "111th and Broadway please," she said quietly. It would have been easy to walk to her destination but today wasn't a walking day. Today was a terrible day. The cab pulled up to the curb on 111th and Broadway. She paid the cabby and stepped out, bag in hand.

Meredith sucked in a deep breath of air. She felt suddenly cold and empty. Looking up at the building in front of her, she moved foreword. She passed the doorman with a wave and walked up the flight of stairs. She stood in front of the apartment and rung the doorbell. When the person answered she frowned at the sight. "Derek kicked me out."

***

**A/N: I made Derek pretty bitchy. But he's being irrational and jealous. And he kinda deserves to be jealous. I also have the next chapter written but no matter how many reviews I get, it's not going up for at least a few hours or tomorrow morning.**


	41. All Broken Hearts

**Disclaimer: I own the story line but not the characters. Someone want to buy me Derek?**

***

"What?" Cristina asked, shocked.

"Derek told me not to come home," Meredith sobbed.

Cristina grabbed her arm and pulled her inside. They walked through the apartment to the guest old room. They sat on the jean couch against the wall. Meredith slumped foreword and burst into tears. Cristina gently caressed her back. Meredith felt cold and empty. She tried to imagine her life without Derek, she couldn't.

"I think…" she sobbed. "My marriage is over."

"No Mer," Cristina said softly. "Derek won't end it over a drunken kiss. He's just jealous and he doesn't want you to see so he channels it into anger."

Meredith nodded. "I'm tired. I think I'm going to sleep."

"Okay. If you need anything, ask," Cristina left the room.

Meredith slipped off her shoes and crawled into Cristina's extra bed. The warm sheets and blanket felt trapping. She lay on top of them, kicking them aside. Her body was warm. It wasn't comfortable warmth like curling up by a fire with hot coco. The feeling was strange. An emptiness loomed inside her. Meredith shifted positions, pulling her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her calves trying to keep herself from splitting in two. The empty splitting feeling continued to spread pulling her apart. She pulled her knees closer to her chest, tightly hugging them. Her eyes felt dry and bloodshot from crying. It was a struggle to keep them open even though her mind buzzed with a noisy desperation, not wanting to give herself the pleasure of sleep. She didn't deserve it. Her mind wanted to stay awake and think but the crying that had occurred tired her body out. Meredith stared ahead in a stupor until her eyelids fell like bricks and she let them shut.

***

Meredith's eyes shot open. The light filled her until she saw her surroundings. She was back in her old bed. The emptiness that had filled and surrounded her the previous night returned. Meredith stumbled out of bed and towards the kitchen where she found Cristina sipping her coffee and reading a medical journal. "Hey," Meredith said sleepily rubbing her eyes.

"Hey. How are you doing?" Cristina asked.

Meredith shrugged. "I think I'm going to go to the hospital and ask Addie to talk to him," she nodded. Meredith walked out of the room and towards the room. She quickly got dressed and headed out the door with a wave to Cristina. The taxi ride seemed longer than usual and she felt anxious. She walked into the large building and walked towards the nurses' station to page Addison when she saw her standing there. "Addie!" Meredith called out half-heartedly.

"Mer! Hey!" Addison hugged her friend. She could tell something was off. "What's up with Derek? It looks like someone killed his puppy."

Tears rolled down Meredith's face. "I killed his puppy," she cried.

Addie took her arm and lead her towards an on-call room. They said on the bed and Meredith fell apart. Addison slowly rubbed circles on her back and coaxed her to stop. Meredith's crying subsided and Addison tried to speak. "Mer, what happened?"

"We got in a fight…a huge fight…. and I went to a party to drink and I got drunk…" Tears began making their way down her face. "And then Cristina found me making out with some guy…" tears rolled faster. "I still don't remember too much but I woke up yesterday morning and Derek was pissed and last night…after class I found a note asking me to go away."

"Oh Mer…"

"Addie, I think he's going to want a divorce," Meredith sobbed.

"No Mer, no. I'll talk some sense into that man. So will Mark. I understand Mer. It was an accident. You were drunk. We'll fix this," she gave her friend a supportive smile. "Derek's just upset and jealous. He'll be okay."

They stood up and walked out of the on-call room. They hugged in front of the door and Meredith walked towards the lobby of the surgical wing. When she passed the final nurses' station she noticed a familiar, but not so familiar figure. There he was. Dr. Derek Christopher Shepherd. He had purple bags under his eyes, similar to hers. He slouched over the counter, leaning on it as if he'd fall if he let go. This broken man wasn't Derek. Meredith saw him sign off a chart and hand it to a nurse. He turned and stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of Meredith. Their eyes met. His were a cool, ice blue; instead of the warm glow they seemed to have when he looked at her. It looked like he was hung over. His dreamy hair was knotted and lacked conditioner and his normal product. It lay against his face like seaweed. He turned away but she saw his left hand. It was a sight that shattered her heart into a million pieces. His left hand was bare.

***

"How was your trip to the hospital?" Cristina asked, walking into the guest room with a carton of strawberry ice cream and two spoons. She personally hated strawberry ice cream but Meredith loved it and she needed comfort. She plopped down next to Meredith and opened the container.

"Terrible. I mean Addie said she'd talk to him but he isn't wearing his wedding ring. Like I don't exist!" Tears came down Meredith's cheeks. Meredith saw the glisten of her engagement ring in the light. The tears came harder. She started fiddling with her rings. "He saw me and ran." Meredith began sobbing and shaking. "I'm afraid… he'll never forgive me."

"Shh. Mer, it's okay," Cristina wrapped her arms around Meredith's small shoulders.

Meredith sniffled. "You know this constitutes hugging?" she giggled a little.

"Shut the hell up," they sat like that for a few minutes. Cristina had to think. What could she do? Everyone knew Derek loved Meredith. He would forgive her. But when? Would it be too late? Just then Cristina knew exactly what to say. "Meredith, Derek loves you. Like really really loves you. When I brought you home after that party, he was devastated. I have never seen his eyes turn that dark. I told him to go easy on you and that you were really drunk, but I guess he didn't listen. Right now, he's feeling jealous and confused. You need to make him talk to you and see that you're all his. "

"That was very un-Cristina Yang like," Meredith used her palms to wipe the tears off her cheeks.

"If you ever tell anybody-"

"You'll kill me," Meredith laughed a little, tears still gleaming in her eyes.

"Right. Remember, if something happens when you are talking to him, and you need to kill him, call me and I'll help you drag his body across the living room floor," they both laughed at this statement. It felt good for Meredith to laugh. She hadn't in a few days. She hoped Cristina was right and she just needed to make him listen.

***

"Hey," Addison said to Derek as she walked into the residents lounge. He moved to get up. "Stay." She ordered.

"What Addison?" he snapped.

"Nothing happened." She said. "Mer was drunk Derek. Everybody makes mistakes," Derek shrugged and left the room.

***

"Derek," Mark called out to his best friend as he walked out of the hospital. Derek kept walking. "It's just me."

"Mark, I don't want a 'forgive Meredith' speech," Derek groaned and turned around to face his friend.

Mark looked at his friend. He was broken. Mark had the idea in the back of his mind to deck Derek and make him come to his senses but seeing his friend so broken made him change his mind. "I wasn't going to give you one because… I get it."

"You do?" Derek asked shocked.

Mark nodded. "You feel like she cheated. Like she's no better than Annabel. You feel violated and jealous. I get it. The thing is… she is different than Annabel. You love her more. She loves you more. You have every right to be mad. You don't have to forgive her right away. Just, don't wait too long, she might not be there when you're ready," he finished and walked away leaving Derek to his thoughts.

***

**A/N: Okay, I hope to get the next chapter up tomorrow but I've got to study and stuff, sigh.**


	42. Confrontation

**A/N: Okay in the last chapters the point kinda was for you to feel sorry for Meredith, now we see the upset angry Derek and you'll feel bad for him. I promise. Remember, he's not the one at fault for all this, mostly.**

***

Derek took another swig of his scotch, further drowning his sorrows. He was already pretty drunk. Looking at the clock, trying to read the blurring numbers, he realized he'd been drinking for over four hours. At this rate he was quickly becoming an alcoholic, he didn't really care. For the past five days he'd come home after work and drank until he passed out. Sometimes it was tequila, sometimes scotch and if the pain wasn't too bad, beer. If he was feeling sorry for himself, that's when the scotch would come out. The tequila he'd save for the moments, hours that he was missing his wife.

Alcohol was the only numbing the pain. It wasn't really doing much for solving his troubles, just numbing the stabbing pain in his chest. Part of him desperately wanted to go and reconcile with his wife but another part wanted to stay angry for just a while longer. The conflicting emotions were driving him to alcoholism. Standing he began to stumble towards the bedroom, hitting the table in the hall. "Fuck," he cursed rubbing at his leg, one hand still holding beer. He continued to stumble into the bedroom and as soon as his head hit the pillow he was out cold.

***

Sun shone through the curtains hitting Derek's face. He groaned. It felt like any other day, in the past five. A horrible hangover. He wished that Meredith was there with the amazing hangover remedy that she'd made him once. Feeling the urge to empty the contents of his stomach, Derek ran to the bathroom barely making it to the toilet before puking. Getting up he grabbed two aspirin and swallowed them dry. Quickly getting dressed so that he wasn't late for work Derek left the house without coffee, figuring he'd stop at Starbucks. Not having time to get in on the subway, Derek hailed a cab and had it take him to the Starbucks near the hospital. He was almost late but being a little late was better than having to drink hospital coffee. Walking into Starbucks he noticed the familiar red head of Addison Montgomery Sloan. He'd been trying to avoid her the past six days since they'd spoken. He prayed that she didn't see him in line. What he didn't notice was the blonde standing next to her. Addison picked up her coffee and her and the blonde walked towards the door, on a collision course with Derek. Finally noticing the blonde and immediately recognizing her as his wife, Derek turned his head to the side. "You've got to be kidding me," he grumbled to himself.

"Real mature Derek," Meredith snapped walking up to him. "Turning your head so I wouldn't see you?"

"What do you want Meredith?" he said flatly, not making eye contact with her.

"What do I want?" she asked rhetorically. "I want my husband back. I want forgiveness."

"Give me time…"

"I've given you time," she snapped at him. He looked up at her. There eyes clashed in a fury of blue and green. His eyes were cold, unforgiving. They bored though her head like she wasn't even there.

"I'm not the one who said they'd abort our baby, if there was one. I'm not the one who almost had sex with someone else. So Meredith, leave me the hell alone until I'm ready," he exclaimed, beginning to make a scene.

Without thinking Meredith grabbed his face, pulling him in for a passionate kiss. He responded out of habit, suddenly feeling better than he had in days. After a moment she let go, suddenly feeling cold and empty. "When you can look me in the eyes and tell me that that kiss meant nothing to you, that you felt nothing, that you don't love me anymore, then I'll leave you alone," Meredith said. She walked out, dragging Addison behind her, leaving a stunned Derek watching after her.

"Wow Mer," Addison exclaimed as they walked towards the hospital. Meredith walked forward too stunned at what she'd just done to speak. "You okay?" Addison asked.

"I don't know."

***

"Hey," Meredith said sadly walking into Cristina's apartment.

"How was coffee with Addison?" she asked.

Meredith shrugged. "I saw Derek."

Cristina's eyes widened. "What happened?"

"He pretty much said 'I'm not forgiving you yet, get out of my face'."

"Bitch," Cristina muttered, making Meredith giggle a little.

"Yeah, then I kissed him."

"You kissed him." she said slowly.

"Yup. I told him if he could tell me that he felt nothing and that he didn't love me anymore, then I'd leave him alone."

Cristina nodded her head in approval. "Just when I thought you were boring, you rise."

"What's new with you?" Meredith asked. "Tell me anything, I need to get my mind off all of this."

"I got a letter from Owen," she said nonchillantly.

"What? When?!"

"This morning."

"What'd it say?!"

"He said he was alive and well, his tour is going well and that he misses and loves me. He's got some nerve."

"Yeah. He leaves you and still has the nerve to write you telling you how much he misses you," Meredith huffed. "What's wrong with men?"

"Them and their stupid boy penis'," Cristina said as they both started to crack up.

"I think I'm going to take a shower," Meredith nodded heading for the bathroom. She slowly stripped her clothes and stepped in to the shower. After adjusting the water, Meredith slipped down the side of the shower and let the hot water hit her. She missed Derek. She was sorry, so sorry. She just wished he'd listen and forgive her.

***

Derek signed off the chart and handed it to a nurse. Meredith kissing him earlier that day was making him think. There was no way he could tell her that that kiss meant nothing, that he didn't feel it. He did, a lot. It made him miss her that much more. Looking at his watch he realized he still had an hour until his next surgery. He found an empty on call room and fell on to the lower bunk. He needed more time to forgive her, but his emotions didn't want to let him.

***

**A/N: I was going to fix everything this chapter but I decided to have one more angsty!**


	43. Road to Recovery

**A/N: If anyone wants my opinion I'm with Derek on this one. I mean Meredith deserves SOME sympathy but Derek's in the right. I've never been drunk but my friends say they've done some pretty stupid things with alcohol in their systems... so yeah I mean it wasn't really an affair or anything and nothing actually happened... In my mind, Meredith would have sobered up a little and stopped anything from happening before pants came off. Yeah.**

**Thanks to snv3 (who wrote most of this chapter or at least came up with the entire talk), McEnglish, merder4ever33 and Writergirl2011 for your immense help!!!**

***

Meredith needed comfort. It had a week and a half since her husband had even looked at her with any love in his eyes. She suddenly realized where she wanted to go. A place that would provide solace. Meredith jumped on the train and went uptown to the fated lecture hall where she'd met her husband. Once she arrived she slowly pushed open the door. It wasn't until she moved towards the podium that she noticed the huddled figure in the front row. In the dark room she couldn't tell who it was so she moved closer. As Meredith approached the front row she recognized the figure as her husband. He turned around, saw her, and stood to leave. "No… Derek I'll go. You told me to stay away. You can um…stay. Bye," she said and turned around.

"Sit," he said weakly. "I'm leaving anyways," she listened and sat four seats down from him. He made no effort to move. Meredith suddenly laughed dryly. "What?" Derek asked.

"Derek, you're my husband and we were arguing who'd leave a room so we didn't have to be together," she laughed. He laughed dryly as well. Derek noticed her pulling a manila envelope out of her bag and opening it. "This isn't what I want but I'll do it for you Derek," Meredith handed a white packet of papers to him. He realized it was unsigned divorce papers. "I love you and I want to fight for what we have…had. I don't want to give up. But, the ball's in your court. All I want is for you to be happy and if getting a divorce is what you need to do to achieve that, sign the papers. Because, sacrificing my happiness to make you happy is how much I love you."

Derek sat silently for a moment. He couldn't believe that she'd drawn up divorce papers just to placate him, "I love you too," he finally said but pausing again. "I don't want a divorce. It's just…I can't, I am repulsed at the thought of another man's hands on you. I was…am so jealous that I just want to go find the bastard and kill him," Derek admitted. "I just hate that you had to turn to someone else to make you feel better. I mean I shouldn't have walked away but that's no excuse. I've lost a lot of the trust, the faith I had in you and the only way that will ever come back is time."

"I am sorry Derek," she said quietly, tears rolling down her face. He opened his mouth to speak but before he could, she continued. "I never meant to hurt you…I'd never want to hurt you. I'd never have even done anything if I hadn't been drunk and mad. I know that's no excuse but, I love you and for as long as I live, I'll never get drunk again."

They sat. Silence pressing down on their shoulders like a ton of bricks. Neither spoke for what felt like hours but was only minutes. "I'm sorry too, I've been thinking and it's not totally your fault," Derek apologized.

"It is Derek. Please put all the blame you want on me."

"No. You wouldn't have even been drunk if I hadn't yelled at you then walked away. It'd be ultimately your choice if you got pregnant now. It'd be your life that'd be affected more than mine."

"I could never abort your baby Derek," she whispered.

Derek smiled at her a little. "I…thank you for saying that."

"It's the truth, I really thought about it and anything that we made together…I could never kill it."

Derek smiled and moved one seat closer to his wife. "I don't know how this works."

"What?"

"How we rebuild the trust. How we become the couple we were a few days ago."

"It's just like when you left me Derek," she said truthfully, cutting a hole though his heart. "We just went about our lives and it resolved itself. But to start that, we need to really discuss everything that happened throughout this past week and a half."

"Well, we might as well start now," he shrugged moving two seats closer. "I mean this is the place we met. What better place to fix us than here?"

"Okay who starts?"

"Do you want to?"

"Okay," she breathed. "I'd really like to believe that I would have stopped myself before anything really happened. I wouldn't intentionally hurt you Derek. I love you. I didn't do it for any reason, it was just my drunk brain making everything porny," she said quietly, tears welling in her eyes.

"I believe you," he smiled, a little of the tear in his heart mending.

"Why did you take off your wedding ring?" Meredith asked, tears falling freely out of her tear ducts.

"It felt heavy," he said. "I looked at it and I saw you making out with some guy. I saw Annabel cheating on me too."

Meredith gasped now understanding his horrible treatment of her. "I understand but, it broke me seeing you in the hospital that day and not seeing a wedding ring on your finger."

"I am sorry," there was another silent pause. "How do I know you'll never cheat on me again?"

"Frankly, you don't. But that's where trust comes in. It's the same as me not knowing if you'd leave me again. But after a while I realized that you meant it."

"So I'll realize it," he confirmed. Derek thought for a second and smiled to himself. "Give me a piece of paper."

"What?"

"I said, give me a piece of paper."

Meredith dug through her bag and found a stack of blue post-its. "I don't have…here I have post-its," she said handing it to him. He pulled out a pen and looked up at her.

"Okay, we need to make promises to each other. So, nothing like this ever happens again. The last two times we had problems we just kind of let it go. Now we need promises. So what do we want to promise each other?"

"That you'll love me... even when you hate me," Meredith smiled.

"To love each other, even when we hate each other," he dictated as he wrote it on the blue post-it. "No running. Ever!" Meredith smiled at him. "Nobody walks out. No matter what happens."

"No running," she echoed.

"What else?"

"Never give up without a fight."

Derek nodded and wrote it down. "This is forever," he writes and signs the post-it. "Sign," he told her.

"This is it? The road to recovery?"

"If you sign," he nodded.

Meredith smiled and took the post-it and pen, signing the promise. "Now what?"

"Now, we seal it with a kiss," he smiled walking over to her. She stood up meeting him half way. Their lips meshed in a fury of passion, tongues battling for control. They broke apart.

"We're fighting for us," she smiled.

"We are."

***

**A/N: For any of you who think I let them get back too easily, I'm sorry. I didn't realize how severely I messed them up until I got reviews. I never intended this to really carry on forever. I hope you liked it.**


	44. Just Dance

**A/N: Okay I've noticed the hits for this story decreasing. To keep myself sane, I'm just going to say it's because people are busy with school and work. **

**Um this chapter kinda skips like a year. Because this fic is coming to an end ****(cry) It will move very quickly to the fiftieth chapter, the night before the beginning of Life In Disguise. **

***

"I will see you in class on Monday," Dr. Bartholomew said to the class as it ended. "Ms. Grey can I see you for a moment," he added as Meredith stood up with her bag.

"Is there a problem?" she asked nervously as she walked up to the older man. His salt and pepper hair covering his head, pair of wire rim glasses covering part of his face and a well trim beard graced his face. He was well built and well dressed

"No problem. I just wanted to tell you that you are the most promising and most captivating student in this class."

"Excuse me?" Meredith asked, shuffling back uncomfortably.

"You're quite beautiful," he smiled taking a step towards her.

"Thank you but that's very inappropriate," she said as she was cornered into the row of benches behind her.

"Not if I want to be more than just your professor."

"I'm married."

"Oh," he said defeated. "I'm very sorry. I don't know what came over me. Your beauty just captivated me and my rationality walked out the door. Your husband is a very lucky man. But I meant what I said about you being the most promising student in the class."

"Thank you doctor," she said quickly scurrying out the door. As she walked out of the hall, she bumped right into Cristina.

"Mer, I need to tell you something," she said pulling her to a bench nearby.

"What is it?" she asked cautiously. They sat in silence for moments.

"I'm sleeping with Collin Marlowe," Cristina blurted.

"Collin Marlowe? Your professor?" she exclaimed. Cristina nodded. "How long?"

"About six months."

"Six months?!" Meredith exclaimed. "And you didn't tell me?"

"Because I knew you'd react like this!"

"Oh because you know me so well," she snapped. "Is it just about sex? Getting a better grade?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you."

"You're making a mistake," Meredith said and stormed away. Irrationally upset with her friend, Meredith got on the bus and went home. Since their fight about a year before, Meredith and Derek were a much stronger couple with more trust and understanding then ever. "Derek!" she called out stalking into the apartment. Remembering that he had a shift, Meredith stripped off her jacket, put down her bag and walked into their room. She pulled off her jeans and slid under the covers of her bed. Within ten minutes she was asleep, not thinking about her weird day.

***

Later that day, Derek walked through the door, exhausted from his shift, ready to curl up in bed next to his wife. Figuring she'd be awake, Derek walked into the bedroom not trying to be quiet. Once he opened the door and found Meredith curled up, hugging his pillow a puzzled expression came over his face. It was only six at night. He had no clue why she'd be sleeping. He quickly stripped off his pants and sweater, changed into sweats and slid behind his wife, wrapping his arms around her waist.

She stirred slightly. "Derek?"

"Yeah Mer," he said kissing the back of her head.

"I…are you too tired to talk?"

"What's wrong?" he asked concerned maneuvering her hips so they were facing. Since their big blowout they'd talk about everything, neither wanting to fall apart again.

"My professor hit on me."

Derek's hands balled into fists in a jealous anger. "You're professor," he repeated.

Meredith nodded. "It was creepy but as soon as I could get a word in edgewise, I told him I was married."

Derek pulled her closer. "You should report him."

"It's fine really…I don't want to cause trouble."

Derek sighed understanding her point. "Thank you for telling me," he smiled, capturing her lips in a searing kiss.

"Of course," she responded breathlessly. "I'm fighting with Cristina."

"What happened?"

"She's sleeping with Collin Marlowe."

"That professor heart god guy?" Derek asked disbelievingly.

"Yup, for six months now."

"And she didn't tell you until today?"

"Yup. We started fighting and I told her she was making a mistake and walked away."

Derek didn't answer, he just pulled his wife closer to him and kissed her forehead. He knew when it was about Cristina it was better to just show her that he was there for her. He kissed her forehead once more and leaped out of their bed.

"What are you doing," she asked, turning to sit up.

Derek just smiled and walked towards the speakers on the dresser. Turning it on he faced Meredith and stretched a hand out to her. She giggled. "What are you doing?" she repeated.

"Come on. Get up," he said pulling back his arm and starting to dance. "Yeah," he called out moving his hips and arms around in a spaz like fashion. Meredith giggled at him. "Get you're ass over here I'm not doing this alone," he smiled at her. She smiled at him and hopped out of bed, jumping lightly up and down and smiling as he 'danced' around her. She bounced next to him laughing at his 'moves'. He extended his and to her and as she took it he spun her into his chest and back out. They closed the distance between them dancing slowly until Derek turned her grabbed her face, pulling her in for a kiss. When they ran out of breath he turned her around and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her cheek. "Better?" he smiled.

"Much," she replied, leaning into his grasp as he kissed her cheek again.

***

**A/N: I hope you liked it. If anyone saw New Moon, tell me your opinions on that too! I'm writing a review of it for my school paper!**


	45. Not Again

**A/N: Okay, this chapter is ****another year later**** (I told you I was picking up the pace). Now Meredith is in her second year of medical school and Derek is neurology attending. Sorry about the pace. I'm determined for this fic to have exactly 50 chapters (I'm weird). Also, I don't have much else to write so fifty sounds good.**

**Disclaimer (haven't written one of these in a while): Today I just sat at home doing a project, watching Grey's and Wife Swap. If I owned Grey's Anatomy, I would be hanging out with the cast.**

***

Meredith walked into the hospital with a smile gracing her face. She held two food bags and walked to the nearest nurse's station. "Could you page Derek Shepherd please?" she asked a brunette nurse. The nurse glared at her and nodded. Noticing a few other nurses staring at her she stepped back a little. "Hey!" Derek smiled brightly, walking up to kiss his wife.

"Hi," she smiled embracing him. "Why are the nurses glaring at me?" Meredith whispered in his ear.

"They love me," he smiled as they separated. "And they're seeing the woman who completely dragged me off the market."

"I don't feel bad about it," Meredith shrugged. "I got lunch," she held up a shopping bag.

"I love you right now you know that right?"

"So you only love me because I bring you food?" she fake pouted.

"Among other things," he growled pulling her in, lightly grazing their pelvises together.

"So food and sex?" she smirked.

"Yup."

"I can live with that," Meredith joked.

"Come on," he said taking her hand on leading her towards the cafeteria. They found an empty table for two and sat down. "Don't you have class now?" he asked as they pulled the food out of the plastic bag.

"It was canceled so I decided to bring my sexy husband some lunch," she shrugged.

"You think I'm sexy?" he smirked.

"Oh shut up," she said, forking a piece of penne and sticking it in her mouth.

"I'm you're sexy neuro god."

"You're not a neuro god," Derek pouted, which Meredith found incredibly sexy.

"You'll pay for that later tonight," he promised smirking.

"Good." They continued lunch talking and laughing as the happy married couple that they were.

"Crap," Derek said looking down at his pager, "911, gotta go," he frowned kissing Meredith quickly on the lips. "Thanks for lunch. See you at home later."

She watched as he ran off, the scrubs hugging his perfect ass nicely. "Watching your husband's ass I see," a male voice said as she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Oh shut up Markie," she smirked.

"Markie?" he asked. "Who told you about that one?"

"Oh the sisters."

"Of course," Mark groaned.

He sat in Derek's vacant seat and took a roll that came with the food. "Don't worry they told me about Derbear too," she giggled.

"That was a good one," Mark's booming laugh echoed through the cafeteria.

"Well isn't this cozy," Addison said pulling a chair up to the table.

"Hey Addie," Meredith smiled.

"Why do we have the pleasure of you sitting in the cafeteria in the middle of the day?" she asked.

"Professor canceled class so I came to bring my husband lunch but he got paged. That's when you're husband sat down with me."

"So what's new?"

"Not much," Meredith shrugged. "What about you guys? Being super cool attendings?"

"Not much else," Mark said and they all shared a laugh.

"I guess I better get going. Busy med student and all," she frowned standing up.

"Bye Mer," Addison said with a wave.

"See you later."

As Meredith walked out of the cafeteria her phone rang. "Hello?"

"_Yes Ms. Grey,"_ a voice said.

"Who is this?"

"_Dr. Grey's assistant Judith,"_ the woman answered. _"You're mother has very important matters to discuss and would like to meet you. When can that be arranged?"_

"Tell her if she wants to meet with me she can call me herself," Meredith snapped hanging up the phone. She continued walking to the lobby when her phone rang again. "What?" she snapped.

"_Meredith that is no way to answer your telephone,"_ Ellis Grey scolded.

"What do you want mother?"

"_Meredith, I need to talk to you,"_ she demanded. _"When can you meet me?"_

"Mother, I am not meeting you. Last time I did you got Derek to leave me."

"_He did that on his own. I have no control over what he does."_

"You manipulated him!"

"_Meredith," _she said her tone softening. _"Please meet me."_

"Fine. But I swear. You aren't talking to my husband alone. At all."

"_Wait you're married?"_

"Yes," Meredith said sitting in a chair in the lobby.

"_You didn't tell me?"_

"No I didn't mother."

"_Fine. Meet me tomorrow at the Four Seasons. I have to go I have… a… client."_

"You mean a patient?"

"_Yeah,"_ Ellis said, her voice sounding disoriented.

Meredith hung up, completely baffled, her mother never as at loss for words. Instead of going home, Meredith decided to continue sitting in the lobby, waiting for Derek's shift to be over.

***

Four hours later, Derek strolled through the lobby, exhausted from his shift. He almost didn't notice a blond woman curled up in a chair. Frowning he walked over to her. "Mer," he whispered crouching between her legs. She stirred awake. "You okay?" he asked kissing her lips lightly.

"My mom called," she sighed.

"What?" Derek asked concerned as he moved to sit next to her.

"She wants to meet with me."

"When?"

"Tomorrow night."

Derek sighed and pulled his wife into his embrace. "We'll do it together."

"I told her you didn't get to talk to her alone."

"I'm okay with that. Mer, I'm sorry about last time. It was…just insecurities on my behalf. It won't happen again. You're my life."

They sat holding each other. "Home?"

"Let's go home."

***

Derek slid into bed behind his wife, lightly spooning her. She slowly turned to face him. She slowly began an assault of kisses on his neck and face. "Mer," he groaned.

"Do you want me to stop?" she asked nervously.

"Yes," he nodded.

"Oh," Meredith moved further from his warm body, suddenly feeling the cold.

"I want you to stop because I want to make sure this is what you want. Are you okay?" he asked pulling her back towards him.

"I'm okay. Please. Just let me avoid this for now. Make me feel better Derek. Please."

"Okay," he nodded pulling her as close as possible and kissing her passionately. She turned to straddle him as he began to make her feel better in only ways he could.

***

**A/N: I hope everyone had a better Thanksgiving than me!**


	46. Disappointment

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for the delay! I should have been able to update a few days ago but I sort of got caught up creating my own board! **

***

Meredith grasped her husband's hand tightly as they stood out side of the Four Seasons. "I don't want to go in there," she whispered to her husband.

He frowned and kissed the side of her head, letting his lips linger there comfortingly. "We can do this," Derek promised squeezing her hand reassuringly, "I'm not going to leave your side. I promise."

She took a deep breath and let Derek lead her into the restaurant. They were shown to her mother's table. "Hello mother," Meredith said as Derek pulled out a chair for her and she sat.

"Meredith," Ellis nodded, "Derek."

"Good evening Dr. Grey," Derek said with a straight face, taking a seat next to his wife.

"I'm not going to beat around the bush," Ellis announced. "Meredith, I have Early Onset Alzheimer's, I am retiring from surgery, moving back to Seattle and checking myself into a nursing home," she said emotionlessly.

Meredith realized that it would be hard for her mother to give up surgery but she was probably repressing the feelings knowing that it didn't matter. But the way she said it made Meredith stare at her in shock. "You're really this cold?" she asked disbelievingly. "You just push right into that."

"I'm not cold Meredith. I'm professional, determined. If you learned how to compose yourself professionally maybe you'd actually get somewhere in life instead of being a young ordinary girl on her way to becoming a pregnant trophy wife for a mediocre surgeon who's career will end quickly because of a malpractice suit."

Meredith's lips hardened into a thin line. "That's it," she snapped. "You can bash me all you want. You can manipulate me, you can call me ordinary, but I'm drawing a line when it comes to Derek."

"Mer please," he begged. "Don't."

She ignored Derek's plea and continued. "My whole life you've called me a disappointment, ordinary. I've gotten used to it. But Derek, Derek is extraordinary. He's going to be a neurology god. I won't sit here and let you bash my husband who has brought me a family and a life."

"That family and life is going to stand in the way of you being anything but ordinary. I guess I've been right all these years," she responded calmly. "You're nothing but a horrible abomination that continuously disappoints me."

"Dr. Grey," Derek snapped. "Meredith defended me and now it's my turn. I will not sit here and let you openly bash my wife and call her an abomination. Meredith is brilliant. She is an amazing student and she will make a world-class surgeon. She is able to handle family, friends and school unlike you. She is twice the person you will ever be. She. Is. Extraordinary."

"Let's go Derek," Meredith whispered. Derek happily obliged and they stood up.

"I should have never had a child," Ellis grumbled.

Meredith held back tears as she took Derek's hand and they swiftly exited the restaurant. "Mer," Derek sighed pulling her into his chest as they stepped out of the building. She slid her arms around his torso, squeezing him tightly. He held her, whispering words of encouragement to her as he pressed kisses to the top of her head. "Come on," he whispered. Derek kept an arm wrapped around Meredith's waist as he led her to a cab he spotted pulling up to the curb.

Once inside the cab, Meredith pulled away from Derek, sliding to the other end. She pressed her forehead against the cool glass, staring aimlessly out the window. Derek sat, not pushing her to talk to him, watching her with concern and love filling his eyes. As the cab pulled up to the curb Derek paid the man as Meredith slipped out, making a beeline to the front door. Derek sighed and followed her in. He knew she needed space to just absorb all that had happen before he could push her.

When he walked into the apartment Meredith was in their room changing into a tank top and sweats. He followed suit as she slipped under the covers and into their bed, moving as far to her side as she could. She faced the nightstand. Derek slipped into bed behind her keeping his distance, willing her to make a move towards him.

Suddenly her lips were on his, her tongue demanding entrance into his mouth. Her hands were tangled in his raven curls. "Mer," he breathed. "Stop."

"You don't…"

"Not like this."

"You don't want me," she whimpered curling into a ball. "No one wants me."

"That's not true," Derek hissed through his teeth. "Meredith you know that's not true."

"My mother obviously doesn't want me."

"I won't lie Mer, she's a bitch," this statement got Meredith to giggle a little. "She's never been a real mother to you. Hell, my mom is more of a mother to you than Ellis Grey. And cut the crap about no one wanting you. I want you. I want you in more than one ways," he whispered seductively in her ear. "I only stopped you because we need to talk about this. You're mother said some pretty nasty things about and to you."

"She said some bad things about you too."

"Yes and my beautiful, amazing, sexy, alluring, strong wife stood up for me."

"I wasn't going to let her bash you like that Derek. She has no right," Meredith said, curling into him.

"She has no right to say any of those things to you either."

"She's my mother."

"That doesn't give her the right."

"It's different. You, she doesn't know you. She knows me. She can say those things," Meredith tried to explain.

"No," Derek shook his head. "She doesn't know you. I know you. I know you're amazing. Mer, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me too."

"I promise Mer, I want you. My family wants you. Our friends want you. You're wanted."

Meredith gave him a small smile but it suddenly turned into a frown. "My mother has Alzheimer's," she whispered to her husband. He sighed and squeezed her tightly, kissing the top of her head. Derek knew there was nothing he could say to make her feel better, so he gave her as much comfort as possible by just holding her.

***

**A/N: Check out my new board! A link is on my profile. If you write, post your stuff, become a member!**


	47. Seattle

**A/N: This chapter is now nearing the end of Meredith's last year in medical school. I know, it went super fast. I never meant to have this story go on for a long time considering the real one is Life in Disguise. The only reason I wrote this one was to give insight into the MerDer relationship before SGH in my little universe. **

***

Meredith sighed as she collapsed beside her husband on their bed. "Long day?" he asked.

"The longest."

Derek wrapped his arms around her and kissed the side of her head gently. "I had a day off," he boasted.

"Yeah. Yeah. Don't brag."

"You're just so jealous."

"Collin Marlow proposed to Cristina," Meredith uttered looking up at her husband to gauge his reaction.

"Wow," Derek said flabbergasted. "I didn't realize it was that serious."

"Neither did I."

"Did she say yes?"

Meredith shook her head no. "I don't think she realized that he thought they were serious. And I mean I think she's moving to Seattle anyways to go to Seattle Grace."

"She got her acceptances?"

"Yep. And I'm stuck waiting nervously."

"I bet you get into all the ones you applied to."

She turned around and smiled at him. "Why do you have so much confidence in me?" she asked seriously.

"Because," he shrugged kissing her lips, "I know that you are an amazing student and you're going to be a great doctor."

"You really have that much confidence in me?" Meredith said quietly, turning to face Derek.

"Of course," he promised, running the pad of his thumb over her check. "Anyways, you had a great study partner."

Meredith laughed. "You mean the one who repeatedly tried to jump me?"

"Yeah that one. I mean he did suggest you study the male anatomy hands on. I think that's a very valid idea."

"Sure it is Der," she giggled settling into his embrace.

"I talked to Kath today," Derek told her, wrapping his arms around her tightly.

"How is she?"

"Well, considering she's eight months pregnant, not so well."

Meredith laughed. "Was she complaining about the ankles and the back oh and her fatness?"

"Yup."

"That's what I got to hear about for an hour last week. She's making me never want to get pregnant."

"I will make very convincing arguments to get you pregnant when we're ready," he smiled nuzzling his nose against her neck. "Including the actual acts of getting pregnant."

"Dr. Shepherd," she reprimanded jokingly. "You're being very naughty," Meredith giggled, moving to straddle his lap.

"Is that a problem?" he asked running his hands up and down her sides.

"Not if you plan to finish what you started."

Derek gave her his McDreamy smile and kissed her lips passionately. "Oh I definitely do. I always finish."

***

"Mer," Derek yelled walking into the apartment, a wide grin dawning his face.

"In here!" she called back from the kitchen.

Derek walked in to find his wife perched on a kitchen stool eating a piece of cake. "I have great news."

"So do I," Meredith smiled. "You go first."

He continued forward and stopped to stand between his wife's knees as she sat. "Richard called me," he started. "Seattle Grace needs a head of Neurosurgery."

"Derek!" she exclaimed throwing her arms around his neck kissing him passionately. "That's amazing!"

"What's your news?" Derek asked as she moved to wrap her arms around his waist.

"I got my internship acceptances."

"And?"

"Mount Sinai, Columbia, Mayo, Johns Hopkins and… Seattle Grace."

"Meredith that's great! I told you there was nothing to worry about!" he exclaimed capturing her lips in a searing kiss.

"What are we going to do?" she asked.

"Well, we're going to talk about it, discuss our options and make our decision together," Derek nodded hugging his wife tightly. "Come on, we'll go to the living room."

He slowly guided them to the couch. Once they were sitting, Meredith sat against the edge of the couch and put her feet over Derek's legs. He slowly began kneading her feet with his thumbs making her moan. "So…Seattle?"

"I was actually going to ask you about that before you told me," she admitted. "My mother is getting worse. I talked to her on the phone this morning…it was really bad. Der "

"But Mer, do you want to move to Seattle? It's a huge change."

"It's a great opportunity for both of us Derek. It is the number two teaching hospitals in the country and being head of neurosurgery is an amazing opportunity that you might not get again. Are you okay with leaving your family?"

"I mean it isn't like I'd never see them again. And you're my family so as long as you're with me, I'll be okay," he smiled at her.

"Corny," she mumbled.

"You love it."

"So…we're moving to Seattle?"

"We're moving to Seattle," she sighed giving her husband a small smile. "Do you want to break your mother's heart in person or on the phone?"

"Why don't we see if she can make it into the city for dinner tonight?" he said, dreading the conversation.

"Yeah but you're the one who's going to tell her."

"Why me?"

"You're her son."

Derek groaned and picked up the phone, inviting his mother to dinner at a local restaurant.

***

"So Derek, " Carolyn said as they sat at a table in Pomodoro, a small Italian restaurant they liked, "why did you insist that I meet you for dinner tonight?"

"Well ma," Derek started, taking a sharp breath in, "we're moving to Seattle."

"You're what?" she exclaimed.

"We're moving to Seattle," he repeated, taking his wife's hand.

"I'm not deaf. I heard you I just don't understand. You're moving to Seattle?'

"I got offered the position of Head of Neurosurgery," Derek said proudly.

"And I got a position as an intern," Meredith added.

"So that's it. You're moving across the country?"

Derek nodded. "We wanted to tell you first ma."

"After my intern year we'll try to make it home for all the holidays.

Carolyn sighed. She had told herself years ago that this could happen but that wasn't comforting. Could happen and happening were very different. "I hope you're happy there."

"Thank you ma," Derek nodded, knowing how hard this was for his mother.

"Thank you Carolyn."

"Well," she said changing the mood, "you dragged me out here, let's eat."

***

**A/N: I am not proud of this chapter. Is there anything anyone would like to see during their move to Seattle?**


	48. Hello Seattle

**A/N: I really hate this chapter but then again, fluff is annoying to write!**

***

"I propose a toast," Mark spoke raising a glass of champagne. The rest of the party, Meredith, Derek, Carolyn, Addison and Cristina, followed suit. "To Meredith and Derek," he bellowed, "have fun in the rainy city."

They adults laughed and took sips from their flutes. "And cheers for no more packing!" Cristina added lifting her glass in the air before downing the bubbly contents of their crystal tumblers.

Derek moved to stand behind his wife, working the knots out of her shoulders from a long day of packing up their apartment. "Hm," she sighed relaxing under his hands.

"You okay?"

"Just tired."

"I guess packing does that to you," he expelled a breath of air, sliding his arms down to wrap them around her shoulders and pull her into his chest.

"We should get going," Addison said, glancing at her husband.

"I should too," Carolyn added.

"Same here," Cristina spoke.

"We'll say goodbye again before you leave," Addison uttered tearfully as she hugged her friends. Mark agreed and enveloped Meredith in a tight hug, also hugging his best friend before the couple took off. Carolyn said her final good byes and Cristina added her 'see you later'.

Once the couple was alone they sat on the couch, wrapped in each other's embrace. Meredith put her blonde head back on her husband's chest, looking up and backwards at him, her pale green eyes straining to see his face. He leaned in, brushing the side bangs off and pressing a chaste kiss to her forehead. "I'm going to miss this place," Meredith admitted.

"Me too," he agreed, "our first home. A lot of good memories."

"Few bad ones."

"The bad ones resulted in some pretty great makeup sex so, they can't be that bad," Derek smirked.

"Sex is really all you think of isn't it?"

"No…"

Meredith giggled, cuddling into his broad chest. She let out a small yawn. "We should get to sleep. We've got the movers coming in the morning. Derek nodded and they walked into their room.

***

Meredith stared out the window of the plane, pressing her head to the cool glass. It was done. They were on their way to a new life. Derek took his wife's hand signifying that he was awake. He'd been sleeping for the past hour or so. "Hi," he whispered still partially asleep from his nap.

"Hi," she responded kissing his lips softy. Derek had surprised her with first class tickets when they arrived at the

"We're really on our way," he smiled snuggling as close to her as the seats would let him.

"That we are."

"You nervous?"

"For what? Being a doctor? Actually working with patients. Oh no," she retorted sarcastically.

"Point taken," Derek chuckled. "You'll be great though."

"Hm. Says my husband," Meredith mumbled.

"Says a neurosurgeon. Says your new Head of Neurosurgery."

Meredith's eyes widened in realization and she pushed away from him. "You're the head of Neurosurgery."

"Yes," he said confused.

"And I'm going to be an intern."

"Yes."

"And I'm sleeping with you."

"You're married to me," Derek reminded her, semi-jokingly.

"But Derek, I'm the intern screwing the Head of Neurosurgery."

"Mer, you're freaking out. And I get it. But just remember you're not just screwing me. I love you. We're married. I'm not going to give you any special treatment," he assured her.

She smiled. Derek always knew how to calm her down. "Okay," Meredith smiled settling back into her husband's warm embrace. "No special treatment?" she asked quietly, running her fingers through the raven curls atop his head and stopping to play with the one lowest on his neck.

"Not at work but that doesn't mean anything about at home…in our bed, on the couch, in the kitchen..."

"So no quickies in an on-call room or in your office? I seem to remember some great times in the on-call rooms in New York," she purred.

"Well those two places may have to be an exception to the rule," Derek responded, running a hand through her golden locks and planting a kiss on her pink lips.

"Would you like anything to drink?" a flight attendant asked walking up to the happy couple, batting her eyelashes at Derek shamelessly.

"I'm okay," Meredith replied sweetly. "What about you darling?" she asked, petting Derek's arm lovingly, trying to get the flight attendant to leave.

"I'm good."

"Call me if you need anything," the flight attendant said before continuing to the next seat.

"She was flirting with you!" Meredith said shocked.

"I didn't notice," Derek shrugged.

"Little bitch," she muttered under her breath.

"You know," he said seductively, his breath tickling the side of her neck. "We never got to join the mile high club."

"Small space, big man, not happening."

"You know you want to," Derek quipped leaning closer to her.

"No," she lied easily trying to hide a smile.

"Well, I'm going to the bathroom and I'll be back in two minutes if you don't join me," he said, kissing her quickly on the lips before heading into the small lavatory. Meredith waited a minute before joining her husband in the bathroom.

***

"We're here," she said looking up at the old Victorian house. She noticed the porch swing remembering it never worked. Otherwise the house she lived in for the first five years of her life had no recognition in her head. It was weird being back to the place where she last saw her father but…she wouldn't let it affect her happiness.

"We are," Derek nodded walking with her towards the door. He easily drew the keys out of his pocket and opened the door. Before Meredith was able to take another step Derek swept her off her feet, into his arms.

"Derek!" she shrieked. "Put me down!"

"I'm carrying you over the threshold."

Meredith laughed and interlocked her hands behind Derek's head. Carrying her into the wooden doors, Derek set her down on the floor gently before covering her lips with his in a smoldering kiss. After sundering the two smiled. "This house isn't… there's something off about it," Meredith frowned.

"It'll look better when we put up a few pictures and other personal stuff…condoms in the cookie jar…"

"Derek," she laughed, "how is putting condoms in a cookie jar going to help?"

He smirked giving her a small shrug. "Come on, let's get the rest of our stuff."

They quickly brought in the items they'd brought with them on the plane and set them on the ground. Figuring that they should unpack enough to settle in they began the task stealing heated glances.

"Time to sleep?" Meredith asked yawning.

"Yeah. Long day."

"Come on," she smiled faintly.

***

**A/N: Okay, I'm really not proud of this story as it comes to an end. Check out Unlikely Lovers I'm very proud of it. **


	49. Setback

**A/N: Second to last chapter!**

***

Meredith stood, watching her husband move around the house in boxers and a black tee shirt, showing off the bulge of his muscled arms. She held a box, not moving as she watched him. She found herself frequently waiting for the other shoe to drop. It had dropped before when they'd had their huge fight but it was as if shoe was picked back up, polished off and put back on their feet. It was still a mystery why a hot neurology god like Derek would ever pick a normal girl likes her when he could have anyone. He might not be as buff as Mark but he was muscular with a perfect trail of hair starting at his belly button and traveling past his boxers.

Derek turned around, not hearing her footsteps behind him like he'd thought. "You okay?" he asked taking a step towards her.

"Yeah," she nodded, snapping out of her Derek filled trance.

They brought the two boxes they were carrying up the stairs and retreated back down to the living room with the idea of getting more boxes. "I think we've done enough for today," Meredith announced flopping down on the gray couch, her jean clad legs extended over the cushions.

"I agree," Derek nodded, picking up her feet, sitting on the couch and placing her bare feet in his lap. They sat in a pleasant silence, both eying the plethora of boxes that filled their living room. "We've really got to get these boxes unpacked," he sighed.

"I'd rather do something else right now," she purred seductively.

Derek smiled, moving so that he was positioned over Meredith, his lips hovering above hers. Ducking his head in for a kiss, Meredith grabbed a fist full of his curls pulling him further in. Their lips clashed together in a fury of passion. Slowly, Meredith parted her lips allowing Derek to explore the cavern of her mouth with his tongue. "Upstairs?" he asked breathlessly on her lips. Meredith nodded. Without warning Derek slipped his arms around her back, pulling her off the gray couch as he stood.

"Derek!" she squealed, wrapping her arms around his neck. Smiling against her lips Derek lifted her legs to wrap around his waist. With Meredith in his arms securely in his arms Derek started to make his way towards the stairs. He climbed, not releasing Meredith's lips from his. Suddenly Derek lost his footing. Next thing they knew they were tumbling back down the stairs. Instinctively, Derek's arms tightened around his wife as they hit they floor.

"Agh," he cried out in agony.

"Are you okay?" Meredith asked in concern, rolling off his chest and kneeling beside him.

"Shoulder…"

"Let me see," she said. Derek pointed to his right arm. "I think you dislocated it," Meredith concluded, inspecting his forearm. "We should get you to a hospital."

Derek nodded, letting his wife help him off the floor. She slipped her arm delicately around his midsection. "I can walk," he laughed dryly.

"I know," Meredith responded guiding them towards the car. Derek sat in the passenger seat as Meredith slipped into the drivers seat. "Feel any better?" she asked taking his left hand in hers.

"Not much…distract me."

"Uhm…what are you going to tell them happened? I mean if you say, I was carrying my wife up the stairs to have loud dirty sex then I fell; I think they'd react oddly."

Derek laughed, the pain in his arm dulling momentarily. "I guess that wouldn't be the greatest thing. I guess we'll just say I was carrying a box and I slipped and fell."

"Believable," he nodded. Meredith squeezed his hand as they quickly made their way to Mercy West, neither wanting to be seen in Seattle Grace. Meredith pulled into a parking spot and they quickly hurried inside.

"Derek Shepherd," the orthopedist nodded, "dislocated shoulder? What happened?"

"We just moved in so I was carrying some…boxes up the stairs and lost my footing."

The doctor looked up from the chart. "Wait, are you the Derek Shepherd?"

"Derek Shepherd?" a voice said as the curtain around them opened. "What in the world are you doing here?" seeing the man's face they matched the voice as Richard Webber's.

"Dislocated my shoulder," he told his new boss. "What are you doing here?"

"Meeting with the chief," Richard turned to the doctor. "I need my Head of Neurosurgery. Fix him well Dr…"

"Snider sir. And I will," she nodded.

"Get better Shep," Richard waved before resealing the curtain and walking off.

"Okay on three," Dr. Snider nodded. Derek grabbed his wife's smaller hand while she put her other over his. "One…two…thee."

There was a popping sound, "agh," Derek called out in pain, making Meredith wince at her loved one's agony. Dr Snider put his arm in a sling and walked out. "It wasn't that bad," Derek shrugged one-sidedly.

"Shut up," Meredith rolled her eyes. "Let's get out of here."

They hastily made their way out to Meredith's jeep. "I think we're bad luck for each other," Derek said faux seriously.

Meredith looked at him in shock, "Derek I'm really sorry…you're probably right it's all my fault you're in that thing…"

"That's not what I meant," he promised with a nod of his head. "I meant that before we met I only got seriously injured once, when Mark threw a baseball at my nose. Since we've met I've been in the hospital twice and you've been in once…"

Meredith let out a breath of air, "we really are quite the pair aren't we?"

"That we are," Derek smiled taking her hand.

"I say we go get some food and go home."

"I agree… I'm kinda out of commission for cooking and I'd rather not have you burn the house down."

Meredith scowled at him and continued to drive. "I want cheesecake…and maybe a salad to balance it…you've ruined my eating habits Derek Shepherd."

"I actually improved them," he smirked.

"You better hope I don't push you down those stairs next time," she mumbled.

"You wouldn't do that!" Derek exclaimed, "you love me too much. Anyway, you wouldn't want to do damage to my surgeon hands… then who would teach you?"

"Oh I could find another attending," she shrugged.

At the following red light Derek used his functioning arm to pull Meredith's face to his. As their lips meshed he took her bottom lip between his teeth, sucking on it lightly before thrusting his tongue into the warm cavern of his mouth. He smirked against her lips as he saw her toes curl in her sandals. "You couldn't find someone to do that," he smiled triumphantly kissing her one more time before the light turned from red to green.

***

**A/N: I had this chapter done a few days ago but I'm in Florida with seldom Internet.**


	50. The End

**A/N: Well, here it is, the last chapter. A lot happens here. Just saying…**

***

Meredith walked through the door of their home, dropped her bag and made her way slowly up the stairs. Her head was swimming; confused in one trip to the nursing home her view of her childhood was drastically altered. Instead of solely blaming her mother for the crappy childhood she'd lived through, she finally had a second party to blame.

"Hey," Derek smiled brightly as she stepped into the room. In place of response Meredith climbed into bed, curling into Derek's side. "What's wrong?" he asked running a hand over her soft locks. She continued to hug his side. "Mer, talk to me."

"My mom had an affair…"

"Oh Mer," he sighed hugging her closer.

"With Richard Webber…"

"What?" Derek asked, baffled. Meredith simply nodded. "That's…wow."

"Yeah. Who'd think the guy who helped save my husband's life would be the one who ruined my childhood?"

"What do you mean?"

"He's the reason that I didn't have a dad…no one to teach me to ride a bike, the reason I was alone for most of my child hood… the reason I'm in my twenties and I can't swim…" Meredith laughed dryly.

"You can't swim?" Derek asked shocked.

"No alright?" she exclaimed.

"Well," he smiled slightly, moving to pull her further into his arms. "Then I will definitely teach you," Derek promised capturing her lips in a long torturous kiss.

"Thank you," she breathed. "I…how do I work professionally with him knowing all this?"

"Keep your…our personal life separate. You don't have to deal with him out of the hospital."

Meredith sighed and leaned further into him. "I really love you Derek."

"I really love you too."

***

"I don't understand why we have to go to this," Meredith complained. "I'm not ready to face him…"

"It has to happen sometime Mer," he sighed, pulling his half naked wife into his arms, not sexually. "And, I'm the new Head of Neurosurgery and you're an intern… we need to socialize, meet people. Text me if you need to talk…or you need cheering up and I'll meet you somewhere."

"Fine."

"These things are boring without a date though…" Derek frowned.

"Yeah well, you're married but your wife can't be seen with you so, suck it up. I don't have a date either," she responded, pulling a short black dress over her narrow hips and attempted to zip it up.

Derek sighed as he reached to replace Meredith's struggling hands and pull up the zipper to her dress. "Okay," he conceded. Looking at his wife in her very revealing dress, he felt a jolt in his lower abdomen and suddenly his black dress pants were tight. Seeing the sudden bulge in his pants Meredith smirked to herself. She stepped into his arms, rubbing her ass against his pelvis.

"Mer," he groaned, "don't start anything you're not planning to finish."

"But I do plan to finish…tonight," she smiled coyly before stepping out of his embrace to slide her black sandals on. Once they were both ready they walked down the stairs hand in hand and readied to part. "You look handsome," Meredith said placing a hand on Derek's chest and straightening his red shirt.

"You look gorgeous," he smiled and her, leaning in for a kiss.

"See you there," Meredith said, kissing him once more before heading to her own car. They'd decided upon two different cars so they didn't show up in one, together. Once they both arrived they walked separately into the room in which the event was being held. Meredith didn't notice when a smallish brown haired man-boy walked up to her.

"Hi. I'm um… George… George O'Malley," he stuttered extending his hand to her, "surgical intern."

"Meredith Grey," she said distractedly as she watched a young brown haired woman get too close to her husband.

"What… are you an intern?"

"Surgical," she responded yet again distractedly, still watching her husband. The woman put her hand on his and he pulled back. Meredith smiled.

"That's good…"

When Meredith noticed Richard walking her way she departed her "conversation" and walked to the opposite side of the room.

***

Later that evening Meredith glanced around the room in search of her husband. When she didn't see him after multiple scans she walked out, grabbed her coat and headed towards the bar across the street figuring she'd get a quick shot before driving home to calm her nerves about the following morning. As she entered the dimly lit bar the chimes rang causing the brown haired man in the corner to look up. He smirked to himself as Meredith sat down on a bar stool and ordered a shot.

"Straight tequila, you're going to be sorry in the morning," Joe, the bartender said to Meredith, pouring her a shot.

"I'm always sorry in the morning," she said with a smile. "But tomorrow's my first day of work so keep them coming."

Walking slowly up to her he leaned against the bar. "Double scotch single malt please," he told the bartender, smiling, before turning to Meredith. He looked her up and down before speaking. "Is this a good place to hang out?" he asked with a smirk.

Meredith smiled at the man, "I wouldn't know. Never been here before. Just moved here with my husband."

"I just moved here too. Never been to Seattle. I have a new job so…" Meredith turned away from him, playing his game. "Ah, you're ignoring me," he joked.

"Is he bothering you?" Joe asked.

"Not too much," Meredith smiled. "I can handle it."

Joe nodded and walked on. "So, you're ignoring me," the man repeated.

"Trying to."

"You shouldn't ignore me."

"And why not?"

"I'm someone you need to get to know to love."

"Really?"

"Oh yes."

"So if I know you, I'll love you?" she asked giving a small smile.

"Oh yes," they shared a laugh.

"You really like yourself huh?"

"Just hiding," he smiled as they laughed together. "So what's your story?"

"I don't have a story. I'm just a girl in a bar."

"I'm just a guy in a bar," the man answered tipping his glass to her.

"So mysterious stranger," Meredith smiled, "how would you like to come home with me?"

"I don't know how much my wife would like that."

"I think she'd be okay with it," Meredith smiled grabbing a handful of his red shirt and pulling him towards her.

Derek closed the rest of the distance between them pressing their lips together. "Home?" he asked in a hushed tone.

"Definitively home."

***

**A/N: The end. Read the sequel Life in Disguise! Please please please review!!**


End file.
